Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Pussy To Die For (1992)

Let me defend myself before I even get into this review. I am a bit of what you might like to call a sleazy bastard. I enjoy raunchy exploitation films, trash cinema and 70's smut. This also includes 70's porno films but I would usually never sink to the depth of boredom to watch something like this. I don't even like regular movies from the useless decade I grew up in which is known as the 90's. I also hate just about everything that is shot on video or as I like to call it "Shiteo". So really the last thing I want to do is watch some lame ass 90's porno video like this.

So why did I watch A Pussy To Die For? The answer is simple. I work at an adult video store and some fat ass-munch gave me a box of "classic" vhs movies. Most of which did not have any boxes and the tapes are all a bit of a mystery. Some of which are cool while others are an out right embarrassment to the porno gods. A Pussy To Die For is one of those embarrassments.

Imdb.com claims it to have "shades of Citizen Kane" within. It is an atrocity to even mention Citizen Kane while referring to this shit-fest. The story, if you can call it that, follows some private dick who is trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious death involving a millionaire named Mr. Hardon. Oh wow they are so fucking witty, I think I'm gonna shit my pants. Anyway the private dick screws a few girls to gather information on this dip-shit named Hardon. The story sucks, the sex scenes suck, the acting sucks and even the film stock... oops, I mean video sucks. Don't be a sucker like me. If some fat fucker walks into your place of employment and hands you this movie just throw it right in the garbage because that's where it belongs.

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