Curse Of The Aztec Mummy (1957)

This 1957 follow up to The Aztez Mummy is yet again not a example of great cinema but the like Rock N Roll Wrestling Women Vs The Aztec Mummy it gets entertainment points for how bizarre it all is.

This low budget Mexican crap-fest blends classic horror, Monster Movies with Mexican wrestling Lucha Libre madness. It's silly and short but still manages to get a bit tired in some of the talky scenes. While The Curse Of The Aztec Mummy clocks in at a short 65 minutes it feels more like a full length feature due to the slow pace of the movie.

The evliv Dr. Krupp is back and wants to get his hands on the ancient jewels in the mummy's tomb. Krupp concocts a plan to abduct a scientists wife and hold her for ransom in exchange for a translation of ancient hieroglyphics that behold the secret hiding place of the jewels. However Curse Of The Aztec Mummy shifts gears and gets a bit more fun when a masked super hero shows up to kick the evil doctors ass. At first glance one might think that is El Santo up there. Wait why does Santo have a anarchy symbol on his belt. Ohhhh wait, that isn't El Santo at all. This silver masked Mexican wrestler is El Angel. Of course we all know El Angel. Wait... who the fuck is El Angel?

  Anyway since the Aztec Mummy doesn't show up until the lats ten minutes of the movie El Angel is really our main source of entertainment here. Don't worry we do get to see this masked hero jumping around in his horribly fitting leotard, kicking the ass of every thug in the movie. However Angel seems to lose just about every fight. He gets captured over and over again and one can't help but wish Santo was doing the action scenes here. Before the film is over El Angel has his mask removed and we learn his true identity. Everyone in the movie acts surprised but I kinda just thought to myself, who cares? When the Aztec Mummy finally shows up in all his rotted glory he seems to have a certain preference to who he attacks. It all comes to a rather abrupt ending and left me wondering why they felt the need to make more of these stupid Aztec Mummy movies.

This one is only for lovers of really bad monster movies and lucha libre antics. It's silly, poorly acted, poorly lit and generally slow but on the other hand it is a sort of strang comic book film and gets points in the bizarre and unintentional humor departments.

Night Of The Bloody Apes (1969)

Ever wonder what it would be like if somebody crossed a Herschell Gordon Lewis film with a Mexican wrestling Lucha Libre film? Well your answer is right here. Night Of The Bloody Apes is all of the above.

The director of this thing was responsible for a few Santo and friends Lucha Libre films so it is no wonder that masked wrestling women made their way into this pre 70's gore epic. Anybody who made it through Rock 'N' Roll Wrestling Women Vs. The Aztec Mummy without falling asleep and actually liked it needs to check this ultra campy flick out. The movie starts off with Lucy a masked female wrestler kicking the shit out of her opponent in the ring. When Lucy tosses the rival wrestler over the ropes and out of the ring her opponent goes into a coma with a fractured achy-breaky skull. This makes Lucy contmeplate quiting wrestling and find another profession but you can take the ring from the girl but you can not keep the girl outta the ring. When this chick gets stood up by her cop boyfriend she goes back to knock a few more screws loose. Of course all of the wrestling stuff is good fun but it is only a taste of things to come. After all this is a gore flick.

While all of this masked female wrestling shit is going on a surgeon is performing new experiments on his dying son. The doctor refuses to let his son go and comes up with the brilliant idea to perform a heart transplant with that of a giant gorilla. The theory is that since a gorilla is so strong its heart must also be strong and if such a giant heart is placed into the body of a normal sized human being that it would help the person regain a healthy immune system and fight off disease. Sound logical? Of course not but that is what Night Of The Bloody Apes has to offer in all of its genius. The surgeon heads down to the local zoo and shoots a gorila up with tranquilizers. He preforms the surgery and the results are a bit different then the doctor expects. His son turns into "A half man, half beast" and grows in size. What we really get is a muscle head running around with a crazy looking gorilla mask and raping young, hot, Mexi-girls. I personally think this thing should have been called Night Of The Ape Rape but I suppose the whole "Bloody" thing is also fitting since there is lots of bloodletting to come.

The surgery scenes were all cut in later for a little extra kick. The real surgery footage is bound to make some of the softer folk out there squirm but it is a nice added touch and a gore hounds delight.

As I mentioned the mad scientist creates one hell of a horny, rape-happy monkey. The Bloody Ape roams about at night and stalks bathing beauties. The girls in this movie pretty much bare it all with the exception of pubic hair and most of them are actually pretty nice to look at. That is at least until the ape-man gets his hands on them. Not only does the Bloody Ape tear away any clothing that his next female victim might be wearing but he also enjoys tearing at their flesh.

However the beast doesn't limit his victims to strictly women. If a poor unfortunate man happens to step in his way the ape-man will certainly eliminate him in a gory way. Eyeballs are popped out from their heads, teeth are ripped out, throats a clawed at and guts are pulled from stomachs. It all sounds pretty disgusting and in a way it is but Night Of The Bloody Apes has this sort of charm to it that is only really known to Herschell Gordon Lewis freaks. It is all done in good sleazy fun and it is pretty damn hard to take a movie like this very seriously. The imagery is brutal, gooey and some what depraved but for me there is almost a goofy innocence to these movies. Sure they are bound to insult up-tight assholes, sure they are pure trash but a ridiculous mad scientist monster-ramma flick crossed with female wrestlers and tons of red gore still comes off light hearted compared to some of the much more serious stuff that would follow in the next few years. Stuff like I Spit On Your Grave or even Last House On The Left all comes off much more realistically darker.

Night Of The Bloody Apes is a perfect Mexi-melt of 50's monster movies, 60's Sexploitation and the darker decade which will follow. It is also a perfect flick to round up a few beers and a few friends and prove to your chums how demented you actually are and I think our mad scientist said it best when he delivers the ridiculous line "It's more probable that of late more and more you're watching in your television many of those pictures of terror."
Fans of this movie would also probably like Doctor Butcher M.D. (Medical Deviate) an Italian exploitation film which blends multiple trash film genres into one big gory bowl of pasta.

Santo And The Diabolical Brain (1963)

Here is another ridiculous early attempt at a Lucha Libre film. In this Mexican wrestling romp two detectives disguise themselves as cowboys and take off to a dangerous village that is run by criminals in search of Virginia. Virginia left her boy friend (one of the detectives) and is shacking up with the leader of a violent gang.

Where does Santo fit into this you might ask... Well nothing really quite fits in with this movie. Things seem to happen for no apparent reason and overly it doesn't make much sense. Santo however does appear before long. He is yet again working with the police and when the detectives blow their cover Santo comes to the rescue. The first time he appears is great and has to be seen to be believed. The villagers see Santo standing at the top of the stairs in his spandex, cape and signature silver mask and all at once yell out "SANTO". Our wrestling super hero does some fast driving in the expected car chase scenes but for an added bonus we get to see Santo ride a horse. Santo beats the shit out of anybody who gets in his path and it makes for a pretty entertaining flick. He also stops a airplane from taking off with the use of his muscles only. This is quite the spectacle and bound to get a chuckle from anyone who can appreciate these cheesy little action flicks.

You should be warned that there is absolutely no Diabolical Brain in this movie and it shouldn't be confused for one of the Santo horror flicks like Santo Vs. The Zombies or Santo And Blue Demon Vs. Doctor Frankenstein. Instead we have typical western villain with some huge bulging eye balls. However we do have a torture scene in which our two detectives have their heads crushed with rope and sticks? However my favorite moments shows one of our detectives pretending to fight as he watches giant brawls go on around him. We also have some kinky spankings at the end of the film. Despite the lack of a Diabolical Brain this one is slightly more entertaining then most of the early Santo flicks. Fans wont be disappointed.

Santo Vs. The Zombies (1962)

This 1962 black and white Luchadore film has the great El Santo going to war against a army of zombies. Its quite clear that these aren't the George A. Romero type zombies mainly because Night Of The Living Dead wouldn't come out for another ten years. So there is obviously no flesh eating and the film goes further into anti-Romero in a scene where a zombie is shot in the head by a cop, leaving a nice size hole in between the eyes and the ghoul doesn't even bother to blink.

Nope these zombies were created by a mad scientist who wears a executioner mask but the diabolical man of science and his army of the living dead are no match for our Santo, the silver masked luchadore. Santo throws a ass kicking on the undead, electrocutes our black hooded villain, and leaves the walking dead burning in flames.

Although I loved the premise and basic outline for this film I did find it to be a bit slow and boring... That is at least till the end. We have way to much long talky scenes and the action just doesn't quite make up for it.

Sure we have a decent amount of Mexican wrestling. We even have a bikini clad babe who appears out of nowhere. The we have a marvelous moment where a dead man is clearly breathing, even before he is reanimated but these moments just don't help pick up the pace until the climactic ending, where we have a burning zombie making some really silly faces. Then we have a speech about Santo and what a great hero he is.

Still from what I have seen I prefer the 70's Lucha Libre stuff like Champions Of Justice. Next on my list is Santo & Blue Demon Vs. Doctor Frankenstein (1974). With a title like that, ya just can't go wrong.

Mystery In Bermuda (1979)

Ever wonder what happened to all the planes and boats that disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle? Well now that I finally have an print of this film in English I have the answer. Thanks to El Santo and his two Luchadores, Blue Demon and Thousand Masks I now understand that there is a under water layer filled with men in silly shiny suits. Although the film leaves off with Santo and his friends lost in the secret layer the rest of the film has a (weak yet) very different plot which really doesn't focus on the Bermuda Triangle at all.

The Lucha Libre trio is hired by the government to protect a princess against some assassins with really bad aim. Every time the assassins try to take the princes out they end up shooting the wrong person. The gullible Luchadores are fooled by some pretty women who are working for the bad guy and this gets our masked hero's into fight after fight.

Santo does some smooching with his babe and while he remains true by keeping his mask on at all times, Mr. Thousand Masks does not. We get a kissy scene where he removes his mask for some romance. We however only have the privilege of seeing the back of his head. Mystery In Bermuda also offers up a machine gun shoot-em-up scene, some straight razor slashings, a knife to the chest, grenade-fu, a female martial artist, bikini babes and some kind of social message reminiscent of Plan 9 From Outer Space about how people are going to kill themselves.

Mystery In Bermuda is one of the last El Santo Lucha Libre films and it really seems that the film makers were trying to make this one the final chapter for the famous Luchadore being that the film ends with El Santo stranded in another dimension without his mask. How do we know that he is without his mask you ask... Because it washes up on shore. Well luckily this was not the last Santo movie but I have not seen any after this late entry. All I want to know is how he gets his mask back.

The Champions Of Justice (1971)

Not being overly familiar with Lucha Libre or Mexican wrestling movies and this being the very first I have ever bought in English, I was very pleased with Champions Of Justice. Its nonstop ridiculousness all the way through.

Blue Demon and his "mates" are in deep shit. A diabolical, mad scientist named Black Hand is out to kill our blue masked Luchadore and anybody else who gets in his way. The evil Dr. Black Hand has a army of wrestling, caped, midget assassins with a giant M on they're chests. I suppose the M stands for Midget!?!?  but these little guys could never stop The Blue Demon, after all "Were just a bunch of useless midgets." Well not for long... Black Hand has a new device that gives these midgets "the strength of ten athletes"  and they do throw a ass kicking on Blue Demon, Doktor Death, Thousand Masks and they kidnap Black Shadow and shoot him up with a drug that puts him against his fellow Luchadores.

Things get really bad for Blue Demon and company when their girls are kidnapped and shoved into crates by the evil doctor. The masked wrestlers band together and hop on their motorcycles, silly dune buggies and motor boats and track down their enemies. In one scene they even fight them in a plane and on parachutes. When the Luchadores finally find Black Hands secret hideout its all out battle with machine gun wielding midgets and a rival team of unmasked wrestlers, The Death Brothers. They even kill a giant black man with repetitive head smashing to a table. The midgets are thrown about and its a god damn laugh riot as they fly across rooms and smash into walls and exploding electronic devices. Blue Demon and his pals (of course) win the battle by smashing Black Hands army of midgets to bits. They save their girls and enjoy a nice Mrs. Mexico show where their hot girlfriends walk around in not so hot bathing suits.

These Mexican wrestling flicks always are fun but its a whole new experience when you are able to watch it in English. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go for a swim in my El Santo mask.