Saturday, June 18, 2011

My Erotic Fantasies (1976)

If I could rename this movie I would call it Highschool Blue Balls because it follows a high school boy named Archie who just can't get laid to save his life. Archie's girl leaves him after she climaxes from a nice finger banging in the car. She feels guilty and leaves poor Archie hanging. Archie goes home to relieve himself only to find his older sister has moved back home and is staying in his room. Throughout Archie's day he is teased by sexy cheerleaders and beat up by an athletic woman for "drooling". He is turned down from just about every girl in school and his sister catches him peeping through the window of the bathroom. Archie eventually comes up with the bright idea to sneak into the girls locker room and pursue his teenage career as a peeping tom. Its there in the locker room that he sees Ronnie the big titted Burnett girl of his dreams. Ronnie lets Archie tag along for some after school recreation where she is filming a porno. This is by far the best and most bizarre scene in the movie because Archie and the other male porn stars blow it. One comes to soon and one can't come at all and Archie is just pathetic. Suddenly the movie turns from color to black and white in one of the weirdest flashbacks I have ever seen. Annie Sprinkle appears in a threesome with two Russian Communist while a very strange commie propaganda speech is going on. The hammer sand sickle is plastered across the wall and the Russian music blares as Annie sucks and fucks these two cats. Although I'm sure the Red lecture shouldn't be thought into to deeply it really doesn't fit into this silly Pornographic comedy. Other then the out of place communist orgy My Erotic Fantasies is pretty boring. I had more fun watching the rips, tears, lines and blotches on the extremely beat up print then I did the film.

For those concerned Archie eventually is cured of his blue balls when he goes to 42nd street on new years eve. He meets a angry slut who hates everything and the credits roll. We never even get to see Archie do the dirty. This one is really only worth watching for the hot brunette Ronnie and the crazy out of place commie-fuck-fest or for Annie Sprinkles completest. The rest of the world should probably avoid it.

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