X : The Man With The X-Ray Eyes (1963)

In 1963 Roger Corman would produce seven films. Amongst those films are Dementia 13, The Terror and of course X : The Man With The X-Ray Eyes. While Roger Corman's direction skill might not be quite up there with Francis Ford Coppola's Dementia 13, I would still say that X has more replay value to it, if not for any other reason, its campy elements.

X was sort of a new take on the 1930's classic The Invisible Man but instead of Claude Rains as a power-mad invisible maniac we get Ray Milland (The Thing With Two Heads, Frogs) as Doctor Xavier. Dr. Xavier is messing around with a new drug that comes in the form of eye drops. When administered the drugs affect allows the subject to see through objects. The sole purpose for the new drug is to help surgeons diagnose patients and of effectively perform surgery with little to no mistakes. If a doctor can see through a patients flesh how can he ever miss the mark? Well things don't go exactly as Dr. Xavier planned and the drug brings the doctor into a world of horror rather then fortune and fame.

At first the drug seems to be a whole mess of fun. Dr. X enjoys the sites of naked women, sees things going on behind closed doors and is also very successful in the medical field. When another doctor doubts Dr. X and his ability to see through the human body Dr. X cuts him with a scalpel. Shocked by his own actions Dr. X takes off running and accidentally kills a man. Nobody is going to believe Dr. Xavier so his best bet now is to lay low for a while. The doctor takes up a job at a circus where he pretends he is a mind reader. With the help of his drug he sees through peoples pockets, clothing and is able to tell them things about themselves that nobody could possibly know. The great Dick Miller shows up as a class-clown type. Miller mocks Dr. Xavier and calls him a fake and things don't end to nicely for Mr. Dick Miller.

Like The Invisible Man, it was easy for the doctor/scientist to get himself into the mess but there is no way out. He is cursed by his x-ray eyes which is no longer fun but more like a curse. He has to sleep with his sun glasses on and his now blackened eyes are so sensitive that everything around him hurts. It all ends in a downer climax that will leave the doctor with no eyes at all. We are treated to a cool police chase that comes complete with crash and burn vehicles, we get some crazy religious type stuff thrown into the mix and a really cool scene in a casino where the man with x-ray eyes cheats everyone around him.

X is good clean campy fun and I say clean because this unrated 60's flick is very {PG}. It could have been slightly better if they upped the sleaze factor a bit. Maybe some bare breasted women would have been nice. I guess doctor X is a very selfish man and doesn't want to share what he sees with the rest of us. Still despite the lack of sex and violence I still dig this one. Its well worth a watch for sci-fi horror fans and the ending is classic.

Andy Warhol's Bad (1977)

Bad was the last film to come from Andy Warhol and his band of freaks. Bad depicts a world gone mad. A world devoid of care, a world without any morals. Coming straight from New York Cities sewers, this 1977 nihilistic trash film is punk rock. is the dark and gritty humor of the 77 punk thing that makes its way onto the screen and I think it is safe to say that Bad would mainly appeal to this type of audience. The leather-clad glue sniffing punk rock mongoloids. Most others are bound to be offended or just not get it. "I saw a French movie once. I didn't get it but I liked it"

L.T. played by Perry King is a hit man who is referred to Hazel who runs a beauty salon. The salon business is just a front for what is really going on. Hazel runs a house of female killers. The women who live under Hazel's roof all make the rent through assassination, this is of course with the exception of Susan Tyrrell's (Night Warning, Forbidden Zone) character, who sits around all day eating and holding her retarded baby.

Speaking of baby's, in the most infamous scene a mother throws her baby out of a window in a city skyscraper. The baby comes crashing upon the city sidewalks, complete with bright red 70's blood which pours from the baby's shattered achy-breaky skull. In another memorable scene a fat slob of a woman with gas pays two of the female assassins to kill Lawrence Tierney's dog because she thinks he was talking about her legs.

Bad also comes complete with a pyromaniac who burns down a theater which is "playing a bad movie" and kills everyone inside the theater. Of course she finds this all very funny. We also get a pretty nasty scene where a man is hit over the head with a tire iron and his unconscious body is dragged over to a car on a jack stand. The car is lowered onto the mans legs and then the attacker proceeds to cut off the mans fingers. This is some pretty nasty stuff and is sure to make the average viewer squirm in discomfort.

Aside from people who grew up on punk rock, fans of trash cinema, especially the works of John Waters (Pink Flamingo's, Mondo Trasho) will also get a kick out of this. Bad is funny, raunchy and offensive at the same time. It is a sleazy look into a city that no longer knows right from wrong. It is really just one big dark social message that hides nothing from its audience. Sex, violence and moral decay is all her on display.

Killer Crocodile (1989)

I found this movie sitting on the shelf at my local video store. The cover of the DVD was Japanese poster art and when I flipped the thing over the back of the disk was just a giant review describing how awful the movie is. I read more and learned that Killer Crocodile was not in fact a Japanese movie but an Italian ripoff of Jaws. Naturally I had to see this for myself.

All I know is that who ever wrote that review on the back of that DVD was a total asshole because Killer Crocodile is good gory Italian exploitation at its best.

Yes it is a Jaws ripoff and it has got to be one of the latest ripoffs to come after the wake of Jaws. The Italians have a way of milking every genre for everything it is worth and of course due to the lack of budget they substitute big actors and things of that nature with shit-loads of gore and anything else they can throw in out of sheer bad taste.

When a group of animals rights activists venture out to the murky swamps of some tropical island they learn that the waters are contaminated with toxic chemical waste. Its not long before they learn that the water is also being ruled by the biggest fucking crocodile in cinematic history (I think) and oh how soon these nature loving yuppies shift gears and become cold blooded animal hunters. Killer Crocodile is nature gone wrong at its finest. The Killer Croc rips the limbs from its victims and leaves a gory mess where ever it goes. It attacks men, women, children and even annoying little poodles. This thing also comes complete with a very strange cast and an even weirder wardrobe. The character of the judge likes to yell at people while wearing his fruity little neckerchief. He also comes complete in white wife-beater and white pants. However the best character in the movie is Joe. Joe is of course the Quint character from Jaws reincarnated but Joe is way fucking cooler. He even surfs on the back of the crocodile and stabs the shit out of it while on its back. This scene really has to be seen to be believed. The only thing crazier then Joe's new surfboard is the climax of the movie. You need to see this for yourself and then maybe you can tell me why our Killer Crocodile explodes.

Fans of this movie should be sure to check out Enzo G. Castellari's Last Shark. That one is just as ridiculously fun.

Murder Obsession (1981)

Murder Obsession also known as Murder Syndrome, also known as Delirium (not to be mistaken for Lamberto Bava's movie), also known as Fear, also known as Satan's Altar, also known as The Wailing, also known as Unconscious and many more is as confusing as sorting out these titles.

This 1981 Giallo crosses elements from erotic horror and supernatural haunted house type flicks with Satanic cults, zombies and general slasher antics. Its almost as if they just didn't know which direction to take this film in.

The story reminded me a lot of movies like Three On A Meathook with the oh so familiar tale of a boy who has been brainwashed into thinking he is responsible for a horrible murder. Of course when the murders pick up again they want the viewer to believe that the boy is up to his old tricks again but come on, we were not about to fall for that one again, were we?

The first half of the movie is slow going but very strange things happening at the same time with what seems like dream sequence after dream sequence. We have skulls in trees that cry blood, zombies and giant spiders that chase half naked women around a castle. This is not exactly my cup of tea, especially if I was told I am in for a Giallo flick. Well this stuff goes on for quite some time and Murder Obsession never seems like a typical Italian slasher/mystery until the later part of the film and when it all shifts gears into more familiar Gialo territory it is all way to elaborate and confusing for the audience to really even care.

On a more positive note we do get a fair share of bare breasted ladies. Amongst the nudie-cuties is (Black Emanuele) Laura Gemser. As expected Laura Gemser offers up her naked body and she also gets killed off by the black gloved killer. Murder Obsession also comes complete with a bit of incest between a horny mother and her son but for me the main highlight was a completely out of place murder which shows a man having an axe embedded into his achy-breaky skull. Brain matter goes a-flying and it all happens so fast it just seems like a subliminal message thrown into the film to get the monster-kids to go on a blood crazed, axe murdering rampage. Who the hell did I just see get murdered and why does it look like he is wearing a Michael Myers, Halloween mask? I'm confused again...

There isn't much here to recommend, unless of course you like Italian murder mystery's that make no sense. I know there are people out there who praise this movie but I would rather stick with a Gialo that I can follow. Oh and leave the Michael Myers masks to the Americans. Thanks.

My Sweet Satan (1994)

In 1984 a Satan worshiping high school kid by the name of Ricky Kasso killed a friend in the suburbs of Long Island. Ricky Kasso also went by the name of The Acid King, since LSD was his drug of choice and used the drug frequently while hanging with his degenerate friends, listening to his AC/DC records or praying to Satan. There were multiple books and movies made about young Ricky Kasso because he stirred up some controversy at the time. Since the teenage murderer hung himself in his cell upon his arrest, it was necessary for someone else to tell his story for him.

My Sweet Satan is one of those Ricky stories. Written, directed and staring Jim Van Bebber the man who brought us the cult classic gore-fest Deadbeat At Dawn and later The Manson Family. This telling of Ricky Kasso and his Satanic escapades is strung together in a 20 minute or so short film.

Jim Van Bebber plays Ricky, who has had his acid lifted from his pockets at a shitty house party. The lame-brain who took his drugs will have to pay. Sure we all know Ricky is going to kill him but it was up to Mr. Bebber to deliver such a brutal murder sequence. Ricky invites his victim eat some acid in the woods and pray to Satan. The dumb-fuck falls into the trap. He does get to take some LSD but I'm sure he didn't know that he would be stripped nude and have his clothes thrown into the fire as an offering to the devil. Ricky makes his thieving pal pray to Satan. "Say you love Satan. Say it!" and then stabs the shit out of the kid. Next he stomps the high school hellcats brains out and it is one hell of a gory scene. Before we know it Ricky is a-swinging in his jail cell.

Since this thing was shot in 1994 and no where near the original murder. Jim Van Bebber blends in some more of his own personal interest and makes the character of Ricky out to be an Industrial Rivet Head type of character. Of course the real Ricky was a small piss-ant AC/DC kid and most Industrial types are not much tougher but Van Bebber is one tough looking mofo. Even if he does have bad tribal tattoos and a long Gothic kid hair cut. I would not fuck with this dude and I don't wanna end up nude and praying to Satan.

This movie also offers up some footage of piercings. Similar to something you would see in a Richard Kern flick. This one is always a fun quick time passer. The perfect gory kind of thing to entertain friends with short attention spans.

I Spill Your Guts (2012)

Long Island writer, producer, director James Balsamo comes at us with his second feature film. For those familiar with the over the top cheese-o-rama Hack Job, you would have a pretty good idea what is in store for you here. I Spill Your Guts brings back a lot of the same cast members from Hack Job and it is still jam packed with bare breasted bimbos and plenty of loud bands.

For me the main difference between Balsamo's first film and I Spill Your Guts is the fact that this movie tells a much more coherent story. It follows Joe Bava a war veteran played by Billy Walsh who's claims himself a war hero after he left his friend Dennis (James Balsamo) for dead in the desert. Dennis took a bullet in the neck for Mr. Bava and somehow recovers from his deathbed and kills all of the doctors in the hospital. Dennis continues his blood-bath across Long Island and New York City until he comes face to face with Joe Bava in a final showdown in a junk yard.
Knowing James Balsamo and most of the cast personally it is a bit hard to pass proper judgement on the final product. You find yourself laughing more at your friends cheesy lines, bad acting or naked bodies. One thing I can say on a positive note is that there was some decent kill scenes and the naked females look much better this time around. I Spill Your Guts is also slightly more serious then Hack Job (I suppose) and that is always a plus.

On the down side the audio levels on my dvd were completely out of whack with blaring metal that can cause some serious ear damage and head trauma followed by scenes of dialogue which is almost impossible to here. Then there was all these seemingly filler scenes that shows NYC buildings with really shitty dance music playing and we all know that while metal is pretty lame in its self that dance music is just out right torture. We did get a couple of cool murder scenes including an impressive shot that shows a vehicle being dropped on a helpless victim which comes complete with spilled guts but some of the kills seemed to have been cut while others were to dark to see.

I feel that I Spill Your Guts was a step forward for James Balsamo and crew but unless your friends with these guys it is really only worth a look if you are into late 80's shot on video gore flicks or the campy style of modern Troma Studios movies.

The Mechanic (1972)

Director Michael Winner who is best remembered for the Death Wish movies is also responsible for this Charles Bronson action flick. While The Mechanic isn't exactly at the top of my favorite Bronson flick list it is still worth a watch at least once for fans of the man with the mustache and all the guns.

Bronson plays a hit man who takes on a young apprentice after he kills the kids father. Bronson's new trainee is into fast cars, women and parties but its not long before he is a full fledged killing machine and who better to learn from then Charles Bronson...

We get a couple of elaborate murder scenes, exploding homes, exploding cars, lots of shotgun-fu and even a scuba diving Charlie Bronson.

For me this movie is just a little bit to {PG} and lacks in the violence department a bit. This really limits the replay value of the movie. However it does come complete with a twist ending. They recently remade this thing and I am not planning out watching that anytime soon. For now I will stick with the 1972 {PG} version.

Deadbeat At Dawn (1988)

Deadbeat At Dawn is not exactly a horror movie but it might as well be because it is loaded to the brim with blood and gore. This late 80's splatter film follows an ex gang leader named Goose through a path of sex, drugs, crime, murder and revenge.

Deadbeat At Dawn would be the first feature film from young director, actor, stuntman etc. Jim Van Bebber. He would go on to do The Manson Family and a bunch of other morbid short films but Deadbeat At Dawn is my personal favorite of the lot.

To think a man in his mid twenties could deliver such a violent and nihilistic delight such as Deadbeat At Dawn without a major studio backing him is amazing.

The movie is so brutally violent and the stunts are outrageous. I'm sure many people got hurt filming this piece of mayhem. Jim Van Bebber himself acts out the craziest of stunts. Hanging from moving vehicles and being smashed into city buildings. I really wouldn't be surprised if he left this thing with a few broken bones or at least some stitches or something.

Jim Van Bebber plays Goose, the leader of a teenage street gang called The Ravens. The Ravens are perpetually at war with rival gang The Spyders. In the earlier moments of the film we are treated to a gang war in a cemetery which ends in a total blood bath. One guy gets his hand blown off in true Taxi Driver fashion and the leader of The Spyders gets cut up pretty bad by Goose. Goose is wounded pretty bad himself in the knife fight and we witness in great gory detail faces being slashed open, torso's being shanked and a really nasty slice to the palm of the hand which will be sewn up by hand in a bloody bathtub in the next scene and this is just a taste of things to come in the gore department. Deadbeat At Dawn is truly a gore-hounds delight.

Goose's girl Christy is getting tired of the gangs and fears that she will find her man dead in a filthy alley way one of these days. She convinces him to quit gang life. Goose tries his best at the nice life. He steals himself a motorcycle and takes Christy on a road trip. When they come back to their shit-hole home town, Goose goes to work selling dope on the streets. Rival gang members decide to get back at Goose by killing Christy but they are not content with just shooting her. Instead they send The Spyders most sadistic gang member Bone Crusher to break every bone in her body with a golf club. Then he rips her intestines out of her stomach. Later Bone Crusher explains that "Her intestines looked like little snakes coming out of her stomach". Bone Crusher is a total nihilist as is almost everybody in this movie and in one of his best scenes he explains "I just hate people and I don't care".

To continue the theme of nihilistic juvenile delinquents, when Goose finds his girlfriends mangled corpse he gives her a proper burial in a garbage compacter. He contemptemplates suicide but opts to join back up with the gangs instead. They rob an armored car and Goose takes off with the loot. It all comes together with an over the top bloody climax. Throats are ripped out (literally), brains are pulled from skulls, one guy catches a throwing star in the achy-breaky skull, another gets shot in the neck, fingers are bitten off and heads are severed.

There is no happy ending to speak of here but it sure will but a smile on the average demto's face. A must see for anyone who likes extreme independent cinema.

Not Of This Earth (1957)

Well this is not a very good one. Produced and directed by Roger Corman the same year he would do Attack Of The Crab Monsters and this one pales in comparison.

This one tells of a ping pong ball-eyed alien who is Not Of This Earth. The bug-eyed alien is not here for pleasure. It is strictly business. He needs blood to supply his dying planet and replenish his own life form back to health.

Its a unique plot but it is paced horribly. It drags on and on and can become a real downer and this even harder to believe considering its only just over an hour long. While the villain is wide eyed and full of life I fear that I was beginning to drool on myself.

The cameo king Dick Miller shows up here for a bit of screen time and gets killed off pretty quick. As you can see Dick is sharp as a tack in this flick. Dressed in a black shirt and white tie, Miller plays an obnoxious door to door salesmen who happens to knock on the wrong door.

Our alien who mainly hides his big eyes behind glasses takes handsome Dick down to the basement and strangles the life out of him. I couldn't help but think that the alien in his glasses and Dick Miller in his new wave tie look like they should be in another Roger Corman flick. Perhaps a rock & roll movie.

Not Of This Earth also offers up typically shitty looking monster that flies around and sucks the life from its victims. The monster looks more like a 50's style lampshade then anything else and all of these killer lampshade moments are the only entertaining moments in the whole damn movie. Unfortunately there isn't very much of this. The majority of the film shows our sun glass wearing alien just roaming about and being awkward.

They remade this thing in 1988 with porn star Traci Lords but I hear that version is pretty bad as well. Well at least that one offers up some Traci Lords titty action. This one is pretty lame all around and for someone like myself who loves 50's monster movies and Roger Corman alike it is pretty sad when I say stay clear of this movie.

The Man Who Laughs (1928)

Many of the horror films from the silent era come off more as very dark dramas then horrific by today's standards. The Man Who Laughs is a perfect example of this. Like many of Lon Chaney's classics the films are classified as horror for the subject matter and disturbing makeup for the time.

I'm sure The Man Who Laughed disturbed movie goers in the late 20's but one can't help but be reminded of Batman villain The Joker. The straight razor smile and the pasty makeup is still being used today.

The main difference between The Joker and this silent film is that The Man Who Laughed is a good guy, Who has been wronged from childhood and still suffers from a cruel society through out his entire life. He is a clown in the circus but this poor mans act never stops. He is starred at wherever he goes and the general public feels no pity. Instead they point and laugh with out a care to how "the clown" feels.

The Man Who Laughs is the offspring of a traitor to King James II. The kings noblemen throw the traitor in an Iron Maiden where he of course meets his fate and then they take his young son to a surgeon who will slice open the kids face, permanently disfiguring him. Then the disfigured boy is left to die in the freezing cold. The boy stumbles upon a woman who has frozen to death. The woman is clutching on to a baby girl who is still alive somehow. How a baby would out live her mother I'm not really sure but what ever. The disfigured boy takes the infant with him and finds shelter in a traveling Carny's home. The carny is shocked to learn that the baby is blind due to the fact that it was left in the cold blizzard for so long. Then he sees the disfigured boys face and automatically sees dollar signs. The movie jumps forward in time and the two handicapped children are all grown up and are regulars in the carnival and the disfigured boy is becoming famous, recognized as The Man Who Laughs.

The Man Who Laughs and his blind girlfriend plan to be married but things get really bad for them when a beautiful blond played by Olga Baclanova shows up at a local carnival show. Most would probably remember Olga best as the devious bitch in Tod Browning's Freaks. Olga plays The Duchess, a member of the royal family and for her own greedy reasons decides that she is going to marry the laughing man. Of course this will all end in tragedy and I couldn't help but be reminded of Lon Chaney's Laugh Clown Laugh due to the tone and similar plot. I also couldn't help but think to myself how much better this film would have been if it were directed by Tod Browning and stared the great Lon Chaney. This is the perfect role for Chaney and of course he would have brought a lot more to it.

The truth is that The Man Who Laughs started to lose my interest after a while. The story was interesting enough and there is a big cast with lots of action but it all runs just a bit to long for its own good. Clocking in at 110 minutes which easily could have been cut down to a generous 90. The movie tends to get a bit repetitive after a while.

The main high note here is of course the face of the laughing man but some of the other fun and oddities that this one has to offer aside from the Iron Maiden scene is, a dog named Homo, a mass hanging that leaves limp, lynched bodies across the land. Miss Olga (Freaks) Baclanova gets fully naked for the camera in a bath scene and a man has his throat ripped out by a dog (Homo) in true Lucio Fulci fashion.

Worth a watch at least once for those who can dig silent film but it does take some concentration to stay awake during the slow parts.

Faces Of Death V (1995)

If you are familiar with the Faces Of Death series and have seen FOD 1 through 4 there is absolutely no reason to watch this one. FOD V is no more then a badly put together compilation of the four films. The narration is constantly changing and it doesn't match or flow properly.

The Faces Of Death crew have done this before when they released The Worst Of Faces Of Death which was a composit of 1-3. Its as if someone said Hey, I know. Why don't we just keep making shitty tapes of previous footage so we never have to shoot anything again and we can still get a check.

FOD 5 has the infamous monkey brains scene and the electric chair execution from the original FOD. It takes a lot of the slaughter house footage from Faces Of Death II. We get to see the deadly rattle snake bite again from FOD 3 but most of the footage is taken from Faces Of Death IV. The mental hospital murder, the giant radioactive leech, the Satanic decapitations and the mutilated puppy will pop up again. This makes me never want to see part 6 which I believe is just another mix and match pile of shit.

Stick with 1-4 and avoid this turd.

Day Of The Animals (1977)

The great William Girdler would follow his highly successful nature gone wrong film Grizzly with another animals run amok flick called Day Of The Animals. Also known as Something Is Out There, Day Of The Animals is way inferior to Grizzly but still holds that campy William (Three On A Meathook) Girdler charm.

Day Of The Animals is often mistaken as a sequel to Grizzly but this of course is false. It was just an attempt for the director to try to cash in on his own success. To further confuse people Christopher George is again casted as the lead but this time he is leading a group of city-folk assholes on a nature hike through the mountains. Amongst the hikers is Lynda Day George who I remember best for another role she played besides Christopher George in a trashy little Spanish slasher called Pieces, where she would scream "Bastarrrrds" over and over and over again.

Andrew Stevens (Massacre At Central High) gets killed with a sharp stick through the guts and to make things even better  Leslie Nielsen plays a psychopathic scum bag on a power trip but we will get back to him later.

I have to laugh that people went to go see this thing, thinking it was a sequel to Grizzly. It is as far from a sequel as possible. This thing plays more like a remake of Frogs then another giant killer bear flick. Sure there is killer bears in the movie but that's because all of the animals have gone bats in this one. We have ridiculous scenes with rats being thrown at the faces of the actors. Snakes on fishing lines and many other very unbelievable animals attack scenes including a mountain cat that looks like it wants to cuddle rather then eat the actors on screen. Still this is all fun and those familiar with William Girdlers so-bad-its-good brand of art (Asylum Of Satan) shouldn't be disappointed.

Day Of The Animals is the classic tale of mother nature striking back against its biggest and most dangerous enemy, humanity. Despite constant warnings on the news that the animals have been acting kooky due to a damaged ozone, the city slicker yuppies venture up into the mountains where they will be terrorized by wolfs, dogs, bears, cats and birds. Remember in Frogs how the Frogs sort of seemed to be the ring leader? Well that's also going on here but instead of frogs it seems that the Hawks are sort of controlling it all from above.

Its possible that the poisonous ozone is not only affecting the animals because Leslie Nielsen's character although a total ass-hat from the start goes completely bonkers when he decides that there is no god above and that he will lead the group. I guess to Leslie Nielsen being in charge means running around with no shirt, screaming at people, beating up on old women and repeatedly calling her an old "Beverly Hills Bitch", smacking little "Cockroach" kids around, killing anyone who stands in his way and of course "Taking what he wants, when he wants" This of course meaning it is cool for him to rape the girls. Yep this one is before Nielsen would become the funny-man from Airplane and he does get a bit rape-happy in this one. For me all of the scenes with Leslie Nielsen are the most entertaining and gives Day Of The Animals a lot of its replay value. Nielsen's character of course meets a very nasty death. He is killed by a giant bear and hugged to death.

Warning : the video transfers of Day Of The Animals have all been pretty rough to my knowledge. Shriek Show put out two different versions of the movie on one disc. They offer up the theatrical print Something Is Out There which is very choppy, grainy and full of snap, crackles and pops. They also offer up the television transfer of Day Of The Animals which is by no means very good looking but still far clearer then the retro theatrical print. So if you can bare through the blurry images on the screen, some very bad acting and some what of a slow pace, you might find something that you like about this one but most would probably hate it. Probably only worth watching for William Girdler fans and anyone who just can't get enough of Nature Gone Wrong flicks.

Antichrist (2009)

Antichrist is visually stimulating with very artistic and stylized cinematography but it doesn't paint a pretty picture. Perhaps the only moment of happiness is within the first five minutes of the film and then it quickly shifts gears into a very sad and dark place. The film opens up with a husband (Willem Dafoe) and a wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg) making love. The sex scene is shot in black and white and at a rate of 1000 frames per second. In other words, its shot in extreme slow motion. This sequence shows hardcore penetration in a shower. As the water drops from the couples genitals in the shower, their baby boy is escaping from his crib in the next room.

The baby climbs up to a window, pushes it open and walks out onto the ledge. The snow falls down in slow motion and we cut back to the married couple which is now in the bedroom. During their sexcapades they knock over a glass of water and the water falls to the floor in slow motion. Can anyone guess what we will see fall next in slow-mo? If you guessed the baby, you would have guessed right. This is about the extent of happy moments that Antichrist has to offer. The baby falls to his death and we move forward in time to a grieving period for the husband and wife. The rest of the film will be filled with grief and despair.

Willem Dafoe's character deals with his mourning at a normal pace but his wife is suffering from what the doctors call an A-typical mourning. Willem Dafoe, being a therapist is not willing to except this and decides to treat the woman he loves most without drugs. Instead he journeys into her mind through psychology and what he finds is quite appalling.

While psychologically treating his wife Willem Dafoe's character learns that she developed an abnormal fear for nature while she was writing a thesis in a secluded set of woods known as Eden. The couple take off to Eden to free her of the fear that is mentally tearing her apart. While the husband is a rational thinking man the wife in the story is much more in the mind frame of supernatural. She says things like "Nature is Satan's church" and she believes that since a woman's body is run by nature and not necessarily concious thought that this must mean the nature of woman is evil. We soon learn that the thesis she was writing about was in fact on this very subject mater.

                                                                                

Antichrist will again shift gears into more physically violent territory rather then mentally. The couple will end up fighting for their life and there is some truly disturbing moments to come. We are haunted by visions of mutilated animals and death seems to be all around. A talking fox rips its own guts out and then informs us that "Chaos reigns". A doe runs around with a stillborn fetus that has never fallen completely from the mothers body. A bird is eaten by ants and shared by a giant black Raven. The married couple will also both suffer from horrible bodily harm. Both of them have their genitals mutilated in a ultra-ghastly scene and only one of them will make it out of this place alive.

Many critics have called Antichrist a misogynistic movie and I don't really agree with this. Sure the female character is completely crazy but the movie never portrays a message of hatred for women. I think if anything it would be more honest to call the film chauvinistic because it shows the male character as a logical thinking being. Or a more efficient machine but it never looks at womanhood as a monster. It simply tells the story of a woman who went bats-crazy.

Antichrist comes complete with so many levels of depth. Each one worthy of discussion and analyzing. There is no clear message that is spelled out for the audience. Its a dark piece of art that came from the mind of Lars Von Trier who was in a very dark place himself. He made the movie as a personal experiment to help himself through his state of anxiety and depression. His own monsters have definitely made its way into the final product.

Watch this one with your best girl but I dare you to sleep comfortably when its all over.