The Reincarnation of Isabel (1973)

The Reincarnation Of Isabel is an Italian slice of Eurotrash that combines art and sleaze quite gracefully. It is also recognized under titles such as Black Magic Rites & the Secret Orgies of the 14th Century and The Ghastly Orgies Of Count Dracula. These alternate titles should give you an inkling that it will be quite a trashy ride.

What The Reincarnation Of Isabel has to offer is lots and lots of naked euro-babes. Sometimes they are being burned at the steak, sometimes they are being sacrificed to Isabel. Sometimes they are being tortured and other times they are just making love. Still we get tons of bare breasted girls as our source of entertainment.

Throw in some weird hippie-dellic moments and lighting that is oddly reminiscent of a Coffin Joe movie with a dream-like pace that could give Jesus Franco a hard-on and you end up with the bizarre concoction of witchery, eroticism, vampires, torture and of course high art. What we do not get is a coherent plot, good acting, or any sort of attention in the continuity department. Scenes change from night to day with out embarrassment and the story is all over the place with no real relevance on time order.

The basic gist is that a group of satanists are cutting out the hearts of young nubile women as sacrifice to Isabel. A witch who was burned at the stake centuries ago. Isabel's lover played by Mickey Hargitay (Bloody Pit Of Horror) places a curse on the village and swears his revenge. Then we have some vampirism going on and things start to get really confusing but when it is all said and done we are treated to a creepy scene involving a woman being buried alive, hearts are ripped from the chest of bear breasted babes, stabbings, really bad makeup, silly satanists in red spandex outfits, bad fire effects and lots of blood drinking. Of course the main attraction here is the nudity and although this film is Italian I would think the best audience for this movie would be fans of Jesus Franco's work.

It can be slow going at times but its weird enough and naked enough for me to give it my seal of approval.

Kilink : Strip And Kill (1967)

Yes Kilink is back and ready to kill! This is the third Kilink film in the series and takes place where Kilink VS The Flying Man leaves off. These are the only two Kilink films I have seen to date and I am becoming a bit obsessed. I await the day I see the first film Kilink In Istanbul because Strip And Kill seems to have forgot the flying man.

Instead Kilink takes us on an all new adventure. He battles two rival gangs and the police at the same time who are all on the same quest for the "Microfilm" which contains photographs of some top secret Turkish military shit. I guess its worth a lot of money or something...

While Kilink is his normal bad-ass self. He seems to do some acts of good this time around which annoyed me a little bit but it is easily made up for when Kilink gets into gun fights with the police and beats on half naked women. After all the title is Strip And Kill!!!

Yet again Mr. Kilink gets all the babes. He uses and abuses them and they sure seem to love to make out with a dude in a spandex skeleton suit. "The king of murder" throws some smooth talking around and gives a bit of loving before he kills these bitches.

Oddly enough Kilink : Strip And Kill is much more coherent then The Flying Man. All of the footage seems to be intact and if anything this one seems to run a bit on the long side. The chaos is still there but definitely numbed down. The story while being very repetitive at least makes sense. On the down side of things the violence is also a bit tame this time around and for this reason I found myself missing the choppiness of the film before it.

Since all of these movies seem to end with a cliff hanger, I think it is safe to say that Kilink finds himself in a bit of trouble and in the hands of the pigs in the films climax. I believe the next film in the series goes by the title of Kilink : Master Criminal which seems to be much harder to find. With any luck I will snatch that one up some day and see you for another review. These movies are fucking bonkers.

A Serbian Film (2010)

Every couple of years or so there is a new movie out that is high in trend for senior horror aficionados and new-comer lame-brains alike to waste Internet space and conversation on. For instance when Teeth first came around, highschool kids were venturing out to the nearest city that was cool enough to screen the movie. The same thing happened with The Human Centipede. The thing that is so odd is that these people who talk about the new trendy horror piece are the same people who thought I was weird for liking movies like Blood Feast when I was in highschool.

With that said, little of these movies are worth the hype that they miraculously received. I view them as just another exploitation movie. Perhaps since we live in an age where exploitation-art is dead for the most part that when something new and slightly shocking comes around people feel the need to voice their own uneducated and useless opinions.

There are many films that had a huge impact on me over the years. Many in the horror genre and many not. For instance Cannibal Holocaust was a bit traumatic to me when I was thirteen years old. Later on Nekromantik. I was at the point where I believed I had seen it all and nothing new could come around that would take my breath away. Well I was wrong... Here is A Serbian Film.

This highly controversial flick follows a washed up pornstar in Serbia. He is bribed into doing a new porno movie with a very large sum of money. Little did he know that he would be shooting a snuff movie that focuses on pedophilia.

The subject mater alone is touchy enough to turn the average movie goer off. Throw in the fact that we will be seeing these horrible acts against children in detail and it is enough to turn anyones stomach. A Serbian Film takes violence to a different level but not so much in the graphic department. It is the substance of the plot that gets deep inside the viewer and forces us to feel extreme discomfort. This coming from a jaded cine-maniac like yours truly who enjoys works of art in the macabre.

A Serbian Film will take you on a roller coaster of emotion, torturing you the whole way through. It will leave you speechless and perhaps dizzy. If you ventured into the depraved depths of cinema like Philosophy Of A Knife and made it through this is the movie for you.

This movie is currently a victim of censorship and will probably remain banned in its entirety in America and most of Europe for years to come. Personally being against censorship I can't help but wonder what kind of impact this film would have on society if it was seen at large. The human race being the birth defect that it is would probably misinterpret the film all together. All the self righteous moralists would condemn it and call it smut while the rest of the degenerates would probably masturbate to the sick and twisted baby fucking scenes. Those of us with a brain in our heads could appreciate this nihilistic piece of art for what it is. A statement on a sick decaying world that can't understand the difference between right and wrong, Art and shit, life and death. Some of us are born dead... or at least better off.

Watch it and think for yourself but be warned it won't be an easy sit. Depression is likely to follow.

Exorcismo (1975)

Paul Nashy is best known for his monster flicks or the Waldemar Daninsky series specifically but the man has 100 titles to his name. This obviously being an Exorcist rip-off.

The Exorcist has been ripped countless times in American and European countries alike. Personally preferring the Eurotrash takes on the 73 classic (Eerie Midnight Horror Show) I have to admit I was a bit let down by this Spanish version.

Exorcismo blends elements of a Gialo with the oh so familiar possession tale. We have scenes that reenact (more graphically) the head being spun by 180 degrees. We also get a fair share of breasts and bush from our possessed actress who takes part in satanic rituals. Paul Nashy on the other hand plays the priest who will act out the exorcism against our demonic antagonist who happens to be a close friend of the family to Nashy.

Exorcismo suffers from long drawn out talky scenes that will lead to great boredom and drooling. Unfortunately the tits and ass isn't quite enough to save this thing from being nothing more then wasted space on the dvd shelf.

Exorcismo isn't shocking enough in the exploitation department to hold attention and it is nowhere near as creepy as the real Exorcist. The fact that our possessed girl looks like she is 30 years old takes a lot away from the film too. On the other hand the makeup does look pretty good and the exorcism is amusing to say the least. Wait until you see the reenactment of the spider-walk... Its a hoot!

I really wouldn't recommend this movie to Nashy fans. Its a let down all around. Stick with Nashy's monster epics or at least a trashier Euro version of the Exorcist.

Brides Of Blood (1968)

Brides Of Blood is the first in the Filipino "Blood Island Trilogy". The trilogy is as outrageous and weird as the hype around it and this film is perhaps my favorite in the series.

Our hero played by John Ashley is stranded on a distant island along with a scientist and his nymphomaniac, blond, bimbo, wife (played by Beverly Powers or in this case "Beverly Hills". John Ashley and company can't believe their eyes when the trees around them come to life and attack them. These trees are a bit on the rapey side and lift pretty young women in the air and tear at their clothes. Of course the tree-rape isn't as graphic as the scenes in the Evil Dead flicks but it is still pretty damn weird. However the natives have a lot more to worry about then a few horny trees. There is also a huge green-blooded monster running around who is much more horny and much more dangerous. The giant green monster comes complete with big bubbles protruding from its body and bright red lips. He is guaranteed to offer up a few chuckles.

The islands habitants on the other hand are not laughing at all. They sacrifice young nubile hotties to the beast by tieing them to a post, ripping their clothes off so the monster can come "satisfy himself" and yes when you are a big green bubbly monster satisfying ones self consists of rape and murder. After the beast of blood island has his way sexually with the girls he rips their heads off.

As if this all doesn't sound entertaining enough to satisfy the average demento Brides Of Blood is jam packed with Filipino midgets and we all know that midgets add life to any sleazy horror flick. In one moment of gratuitous violence we are treated to a tall bald man repeatedly whipping a midget slave. Brides Of Blood comes complete with decapitation, severed legs and other dismemberment's. We get monsters and mutant plant life, a tid bit of splatter and Frankenstein type ending.

This one can get slow at times but it is worth sticking it out. If I didn't know this thing was shot in the Philippines I would definitely have thought it to be a movie from mars.

Women In Rock (1980)

Women In Rock also known as Girls Who Bite Back is a pretty shitty documentary from German director Wolfgang Buld, the guy who did Punk In London and its crap follow up Punk In England.

 This uninteresting look at some of the girls who liked to rock out in the late 70's consists of interviews and live footage from of course The Slits who I never fucking liked, a band called Girlschool and Siouxsie & The Banshees. While Siouxsie is cool and all the live performances just bore and don't offer anything new or special. For me the highlight was from German hottie Nina Hagen who does a bad-ass cover version of David Bowie's Ziggy Played Guitar. Other then that one moment stay far far away from this thing. Its about as fun as a rectal exam.

Punk In England (1980)

Originally titled Punk And Its Aftershocks and later British Rock : Ready For The 80's is the weak follow up to the far superior Punk In London.

This being the middle piece in Wolfgang Buld's trilogy it makes me never want to see the final instalment which goes by the name of Regea In Babylon.

Punk In England takes us out of London and into the suburbs of Britain where punk rock has been lingering around passed its due date. The good old days of spit and anarchy are of the past and punk rock has been watered down, recycled and regurgitated again. Its become commercial and New Wave is right around the awful corner. Yuck!

We get some average footage from The Clash but nothing as mean and nasty as could be found in earlier documentaries or even films like Rude Boy. The Jam plays a song or two as does Siouxie & The Banshees. Then the film drifts off and on about Mods and Rockers and we get footage from bands like Madness which I was never to fucking fond of. I enjoy the footage from The Specials but the fans seem like a bunch of cunts. For me the best moment is some live footage from Spizzenergi. Those guys seem to be holding the old spirit of 77. The Boomtown Rats voice their shitty opinion a little more then I would have liked and this movie needs to have the fast forward button close by.

I would say skip this and check out Punk In London for a much better example of what Punk Rock was. That is unless you consider The Pretenders to be a staple in Punk Rock music. Speaking of The Pretenders the copy of Punk In England that I picked up is a double bill with an equally bad Wolfgang Buld documentary called Women In Rock. Be warned that shit is even worse!

Evil Dead 2 : Dead By Dawn (1987)

Its always a bad idea to make the sequel to your hit horror movie into a comedy. Evil Dead 2 is one of the exceptions to the rule. Six years after Sam Raimi's incredibly gory and unusually weird Evil Dead, the young director remakes his own movie. This time with a hint of comedy thrown in. Okay maybe a hint is an understatement.

This sequel/remake takes Ash (Bruce Campbell) back to the cabin where his friends were all slaughtered in the first film. Naturally nothing of this is mentioned and we just get a whole new set of blood splattered murder scenes.

Evil Dead 2 lacks the nasty, gritty look from the first flick. Unfortunately the flesh on the undead doesn't have that same crusty look that it did the first time around. Still we have decapitations (complete with dancing headless girlfriends), Heads are stomped in and eyeballs come popping out from the socket and go flying across the room into a unsuspecting victims mouth. Even the tree-rape is reenacted.

In one of the most memorable scenes Ash's hand becomes possessed and we have the privilege of watching Bruce Campbell smash plates over his own head, smash his face into the walls and floor and just generally beat the shit out of himself. He resorts to sticking a knife through his own hand (complete with splat) and then taking a chainsaw to his wrist, dismembering his possessed hand (Complete with more splatter). Naturally the possessed hand goes on the run and causes some mayhem. The hand gives off some rude gestures to our hero. This pisses Ash off and he shoots it with a shotgun. Next rivers of bright red blood blast our handless hero in the face. If you thought the corridor scene in The Shining had a lot of blood just wait till you see this. It is oddly reminiscent of the scene where Johnny Depp meets his demise in A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Sam Raimi made it a habit of doing scenes from this trilogy over and over in the sequels. In Army Of Darkness (the third film in the series) we get to a recap of when Ash saws his hand off. "Something got into my hand so I lobbed it off at the wrist". Army Of Darkness also had no choice but to continue with more elaborate monsters due to the direction that Evil Dead 2 took the series. This time around instead of typical demons we get more giant monsters and in the films climax Ash gets thrown into a time warp and ends up in Medieval times where he will be forced to fight an army of the undead in the next film.

Evil Dead part 1 is the best of the lot. Its a true horror film that holds back on the laughs. The demons are far more disgusting looking and in my humble opinion the gore looked better. Evil Dead 2 : Dead By Dawn is a fun watch for fans of the first film but new comers to the series really need to start in the beginning.

Escape From The Fire (2007)

Escape From The Fire is a short 13 minute independent film shot in 35mm. The setting is Nazi Germany and was filmed here in Long Island New York. Escape From The Fire stands aside from the majority of independent movies from this era for multiple reasons. The most obvious being that it was shot on film instead of digital video. The 35mm looks great and goes to prove that modern film makers can still make a movie that looks good if they were only given the tools needed. Video looks horrible. Always has and always will! Why Hollywood will spend 60 million on a movie but not pay the expense of decent looking film is beyond me. Another thing that makes Escape From The Fire unique is the fact that it is an American film with German dialogue. No subtitles are available. The story is basically told silently.

Then there is the films appearance. Escape From The Fire shows off a great deal of talent from young, unrecognized film makers. The cinematography and lighting are the high points of the film. We have some very interesting pull focus camera work through barbed wire fences and natural lighting and shadows add much realism as the story unfolds.

The downside is that the plot is very weak. There really isn't much story going on at all. Escape From The Fire relies more on atmosphere and emotion then anything else. The film follows a little Jewish boy on the run from S.S. troops. He Escapes From The Fire through the woods and takes refuge in a barn where he meets a little girl. Together the two children bond and find a moment of peace in a world that is doomed with violence, hate and murder.

Its a nice little film and a little bit sensitive. It would probably appeal to mom more then dad but any true cine-maniac can see the strong points in this indie expression.

Escape from the Fire Teaser Trailer

Shock Waves (1977)

The opening title sequence isn't open for much suggestion here. Shock Waves blares across the screen with a giant Swastika underneath. It flashes in bright colors and is sure to catch the attention of everybody watching.

Yes we are dealing with Nazi's here. Nazi-Zombies to be exact and as far as I know this is the first Nazi-Zombie flick to take place under water.

Of course Jean Rollin's Zombie Lake would be the other water logged Nazi Zombie flick that everyone remembers. While Zombie Lake is an all out exhibition in Eurotrash cinema Shock Waves is actually rated {PG} and is far from an exploitation movie. Instead it goes for classic style scares through music, imagery, acting and action. It actually works pretty effectively. Sure it would have been nice to have some tits and ass from the Margot Kidder look alike leading actress and some gore and splatter is always a nice addition to any zombie flick but for this reason Shock Waves is something different. Something unique. It stands on its own as a good horror film.

John Carradine plays the captain of a ship who lands six people on a deserted island that is inhabited by genetically engineered Nazi-Zombie-Soldiers who have been surviving under water.

Carradine has a bit more screen time then usual and the film makers definitely got their moneys worth from the old timer. Usually by this time Carradine would show up for a quick cameo, grab his paycheck and run. Then third rate film makers could slap his name to the title card and hope to sell more tickets to their B-movie. Not Shock Waves... John Carradine goes above and beyond. They get him in a bathing suit for his under water death scene and he is even carried by a group of young actors who leave the frail actor laying half nude on the beach.

Peter Cushing plays a S.S. commander. The one who is to blame for the zombies running amok. Cushing plays the German accent to the best of his ability which isn't very good but he does come complete with a nasty scar running down his face. He also gets into some action scenes, running from the zombies. Cushing couldn't control the genetically engineered Nazi soldiers during the war and he can't control them now. Cushing also gets a death scene along with pretty much every character in the movie.

Shock Waves may be rated {PG} and virtually goreless but the makeup is still pretty cool. From the simplicity of Peter Cushing's scar to the time consuming water logged zombie look. The makeup is very affective and to say the least it beats George A. Romero's grey face paint gag. We get some rotten zombies and a pretty cool scene where a drunkard has some sharp objects shoved into his face. The makeup was done by Alan Ormsby who did the special effects for Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things. The director on the other hand went on to do the ultra-cheesy and equally silly Return Of The Living Dead Part 2. Shock Waves is by far the better zombie flick. Its not a comedy and its from the 70's... It must be better!

Originally shot on Super 16mm and blown up to 35mm for theatrical release in true Texas Chainsaw Massacre fashion. Blue Underground's dvd release looks great. Check it out for a creepy time under water with zombies and a strange yellow scene with John Carradine.

Kilink VS The Flying Man (1967)

Wow and I thought Mexican wrestling Lucha Libre films were crazy. They pale in comparison to the madness of Turkish super hero flicks.

I first learned of the skeleton masked super-villain when I picked up a book on rare horror cinema from around the globe. The book is titled Fear Without Frontiers and a very informative read on rare and hard to find horror flicks from over seas. According to the book the first Kilink movie which was a ripoff from an Italian comic book with a super maniacal villain in a skeleton suit was such a hit that 12 sequels, ripoffs and remakes came out in Turkey the very same year.

Kilink VS The Flying Man also known as Kilink VS Superman is the first official sequel the original (If you can call it that) Turkish film Kilink In Istanbul and takes off where Istanbul leaves off.

This being the very first Kilink film I have seen to date I can not compare it to its successful proceder. What I do know is this is one crazy fucking movie. Right away Kilink is totally different then anything that an American would be used to. The main character is a bad guy and you can't help but love him. He comes back over and over again as if he was Batman or something but instead of saving the people of Gotham City Kilink is killing mother fuckers, shooting doctors, hanging out with hot girls, blowing shit up and torturing women who wont put out. Fucking awesome!

Kilink doesn't really have any super powers. He is basically just a bad-ass criminal in a silly costume. He uses guns and other weapons all the while he has "Shajam" on his tail. Shajam is basically superman. He flies and sports a cape and costume with a giant S on the chest.

These Turk's don't give a fuck about copyright laws and the films make for a bizarre ride. The best way I can describe Kilink VS The Flying Man is if you took one of the weirdest and most disjointed Hong Kong Kung Fu flick you have ever seen like Ninja Death movies where things seem to happen for no reason and threw in some silly Mexican wrestling style super hero's and chopped it all together in the basement with the lights off and a pair of sunglasses on it might come out looking a bit like this.

My dvd is obviously taken from at least two different prints and most likely three for lost footage reasons. The film stock changes moment from moment and its filled with burps, jumps and skips. The first 20 minutes of the film is a maddening recap of Kilink In Istanbul and the films final climax is completely missing. Luckily for us they replaced the footage with still photo's and a voice over narration explains what is going on. This would be a drag in most cases but Kilink VS The Flying Man or Superman or Shajam or what ever the fuck you wanna call him is already insane enough where this almost just adds to the whole experience.

Fans of Santo and The Blue Demon would probably make the best audience for the Kilink movies. I am yet to see another Kilink flick but I might put this just a step above Lucha Libre movies.

The Female : Seventy Times Seven (1962)

The Female is an earlier work from Argentinian sex symbol Isabel Sarli. It can be found on a double feature dvd from Something Weird Video with the far superior and sexy Fuego. Fuego was my introduction to the beautiful, busty brunette from Argentina and is still my favorite to date. Isabel Sarli having 30 some odd titles to her name and The Female not being a very good one.

Sexy-Sarli plays Cora a prostitute with a nasty scar running down her face. Man after man enters her room in the sleazy brothel which she works in. If you have money you can screw her but you can not kiss her. That will cost you extra. As Cora rolls around with one of her johns she looks up at hole in the celling. She is overly frightened of the hole and I couldn't help but think the Argentinian film makers were inspired by Roman Polanski's Repulsion. Obviously this is not the case considering The Female is three years older then the Polanski masterpiece. None the less The Female tries for something of an artsy-fartsy story but fails.

As other prostitutes in the brothel screw hairy men and suck man-toes in ultra sleazy scenes of sexploitive smut Cora stares up into the hole in the ceiling which takes her into her past. The rest of the film is told through a flashback and I have to admit it is quite the boring flashback.

Cora takes us back to a love triangle between herself and two men in the desert. The three are dying of thirst and dig a well. Cora eventually leaves the men for dead and has her face cut in the middle.

The Female offers up typical roughie style camera work that gives off the impression that the film was shot through a key hole. We get the almost required through the legs shots but it also offers some very nice looking cinematography at times. This is really the only positive thing you can say about the film aside from the trashy close up on toe sucking. The Female is virtually plotless and even worse then that it doesn't show off Isabel Sarli's finner aspects. We might get the occasional nip-slip here and there but there is no intentional nudity. The least they could have done was gave us more cleavage and underwear shots. On top of this the characters are dull as can be and the film might as well have been silent because there is very miminal diologue and not really any score to be heard. Just the sounds of wind and some horses. The Female is a bad example of art and should be avoided.

For a much sexier time with the queen of sex from Argentina check out Feugo. It doesn't disappoint.

Who Ever Slew Auntie Roo (1972)

Curtis Harrington, the director of oddities such as Devil Dog : The Hound From Hell and Denis Hopper's Night Tide delivers another Shelly Winters thriller one year after Whats The Matter With Helen?. There is no question about it Curtis Harrington is a pretty weird director and it is quite possible that his movies are from mars but I can not understand what his fascination was with Shelly Winters.

Whats The Mater With Helen wasn't exactly a great movie and Whoever Slew Auntie Roo is significantly worse. Perhaps there was some sort of a contract between the two or maybe they were just friends. All I know is it is a pretty weird combo. Throw American Internationals Pictures into the mix and it is even more bizarre. What the hell did A.I.P. want with this picture? Its extremely soft and doesn't really offer anything shocking at all. Was there some kind of strange Shelly Winters fetish going on at the time that I don't know about?

Shelly Winters plays (yes you guessed it) Auntie Roo... An ex show-girl who lost her beloved daughter. Naturally she kept the corpse and she spends her time rocking the bones of her daughter in a cradle.

This year for Christmas Auntie Roo has invited kids from the orphanage to spend the night in her mansion. She fattens the little ones up and spoils them with presents. Naturally she kidnaps one or two of them and its not long before the authorities and the orphanage are aware of the missing children.

The kidnapped children believe Auntie Roo to be a witch and they reference Hansel And Gretel. The kids believe that Auntie Roo is going to kill them and eat them so they come up with an escape plan.

Considering that this film revolves around children I am sure you could have guessed that there is very little violence. We get a couple of ineffective jump scares and bunch of old style gags. There really isn't much here that can be recommended. For a much better Shelly Winters experience check out Cleopatra Jones... Anything but Auntie Roo.