Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Deadly Weapons (1974)

Rest in peace Doris Wishman. The world will never know another quite like you. Female exploiter Doris Wishman is remembered for many of her oddities like Nude On The Moon and Another Day Another Man. This is another that comes to mind when I think of the lunacy of Doris Wishman flicks.

There were a lot of very unattractive sexploitation films in the 70's but this one really takes the cake. It stars Chesty Morgan, the girl with a 73 inch bust and these swinging utters will definitely grab the attention from anyone watching but may also cause nausea. Chesty struts around in some of the most un-sexy outfits to ever hit celluloid. Even the opening credits which were shot through strange fishbowl lenses and through round mirrors is an almost immediate warning that Deadly Weapons is going to be a journey into the weird and I'm sure all the twisted perverts in the theater seats zipped their pants back up knowing that there will not be anything sexually stimulating about this movie. Just wait till you see Chesty walking around in her giant pantyhose with breast-a-swinging.

With that said Deadly Weapons is high entertainment for anybody who loves the strange days of cinematic exploitation. Chesty seeks revenge on some lowlife mobsters who knock off her boyfriend with a knife to the guts. The scene does offer up a bit of the red stuff for all you gore hounds out there but that is the extent of bloodletting that you will get from this 70's sickie. It just so happens that Chesty's weapon of choice is her giant breasts. She suffocates the bad guys with their face between her jugs. What an awful way to go!

As if this isn't cool enough we also get Dr. Deep Throat himself. Mr. Harry Reems as one of the mobsters who meets his fate within the cleavage of Mrs. Morgan. Deadly Weapons would be unleashed only one year after The Devil In Miss Jones and Reems is great as usual.
His mustache appears to be slightly bigger then normal and he even plays with it on film, so keep an eye out for that.

Aside from Reems we also have a mobster with an eye patch who they call captain hook. If only he had a peg-leg then we would really be in business.

Another nice addition is the fact that Deadly Weapons shares the same soundtrack as Torso, the great Italian, euro-trash, giallo about a "Psycho-Sexual-Mind" who roams the streets of Italy and strangles beautiful women with a scarf and then saws into their naked bodies. Unfortunately D.W. doesn't have any dismemberment and perhaps that's why Chesty looks so miserable through the whole film.

I on the other hand love this movie and smile the whole way through. Check it out for heavy melons with invisible nipples and some yucky 70's underwear. This thing was shot back to back with Double Agent 73 another Wishman & Morgan collaboration. I wonder if Chesty smiles in that one.

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