Saturday, January 28, 2012

Double Agent 73 (1974)

Doris Wishman (Nude On The Moon, Bad Girls Go To Hell) teams up with the heavy weight in breast yet again. That is Chesty Morgan. The two women did Deadly Weapons  together the same year and I guess the plan was to have an ongoing detective series with Mrs. Chesty. This of course being one of the worst ideas of all time considering after viewing Chesty in one movie the average pervert would be turned off for life. Never mind the fact that two movies would come out in the same year.

This time around Chesty Morgan is not suffocating her enemies with her melon heavy breasts. Nope, she has a camera installed into one of her tits and we get countless shots of her pressing, pushing and squeezing her utters. Naturally we get a cheesy sound effect that sounds like an old-time camera going off and presto... we have a movie.

This one actually offers up some more gruesome death since its not all suffocation scenes. It also offers up some of the strangest murder scenes ever. An evil nurse is strangled with a telephone wire. Another woman is stabbed to death in a shower scene that pays some serious homage to Psycho. Its almost identical to Hitchcock's classic shower scene with much more added breasts and blood. Next a man is blown to shit in a car explosion scene. The bomb comes in the form of lipstick. Then we get another gory scene where a man gets his face slashed up with a broken bottle but the weirdest moment in the whole movie is a scene where Chesty Morgan a.k.a. Double Agent 73 kills a man by stuffing ice cubes into his mouth. Death by ice cube?

Despite the fact that this movie surpasses Deadly Weapons in the gore department and over all weirdness, I think I still like D.W. (not Doris Wishman, Deadly Weapons) just a touch more. I find it to be just a hint more trashy.

My friends pointed out to me how miserable Chesty appears to be in Deadly Weapons and this is very true but if you think she looks depressed in that film, you just have to see her in Double Agent 73. She looks like she is constantly on the rag. She never smiles and she looks like she is either going to cry at any moment or smash the set up.

God I love Wishman! These flicks are so disturbingly unattractive and generally weird that you would have to be one boring son of a bitch to not enjoy them. Do yourself a favor and pick up the Something Weird Video double feature dvd. Chesty is waiting to torture you with her saggy breasts and her miserable face.

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