This has to be one of the weirdest movies to cash in on the success of Rebel Without A Cause. Lost, Lonely And Vicious tells the tale of Johnnie Dennis a new, young talented actor in Hollywood. On the surface it seems he has everything going for him but does he really?
Johnnie has an obsession with death. He runs with a bunch of Juvenile Delinquents, drag races his car in the street and almost runs down pretty young girls like Barbara Wilson (Flesh Eaters) and gets into violent street fights. Its not long before Johnnie realizes he has a "Death Wish" and he is off to the library like a true rebel to do some research on his obsession. He learns that he is not the only one who dreams of being dead and his matters get worse causing him to become more self destructive then ever.
Johnnie eventually falls in love with Barbara Wilson but will love be enough to keep Johnnie Dennis from taking the final plunge? Will he die in a rumble, or a drag race? Will he just commit suicide? He seems destined for destruction and Lost Lonely And Vicious is a pretty morbid love story from the 50's. Sure its cheesy as hell but its still a nice change of pace from the average juvenile delinquent flick.
We get rockabilly dancing girls in tight sweaters, a pretty brutal street fight with heads being smashed with hammers, wrenches, concrete and car doors, reckless driving in big 50's thunderbirds, and it also sports what may be my new fetish. A fetish that only Ed Wood Jr. would understand... Girls in tight sweaters spinning their favorite 45's between their cleavage. It's a moment that has to be seen and possibly makes the movie worth owning.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thrill Killers (1964)
The Thrill Killers also known as The Maniacs Are Loose and The Monsters Are Loose is one of those awesome mean spirited exploitation flicks of the mid 60's. It has elements of a Roughie but it certainly doesn't fit into that genre. For some reason The Thrill Killers always reminds me more of movies like The Sadist (1963) with the great Arch Hall Junior.
Maybe its because Arch Hall was part of the same film ring as The Thrill Killers director Ray Dennis Steckler. Arch Hall Junior even stared in Steckler's first film The Wild Guitar as Bud Eagle the typical Arch Hall Jr. beach-bum who has entirely to much hair product in his blond mop and drives the beach-babes wild with his crazy guitar playing.
However as I mentioned before this one plays more like The Sadist. We have three escaped mental patients who are running around with axes, guns and knives, chopping the heads off of helpless victims. In one of my favorite scenes we see one of our escaped lunatics picking pieces of scalp off the blade of his axe and he says "Poor Jack, He had dandruff". This is a perfect example of the dark and yet humorous tone that runs throughout The Thrill Killers.
However the three escaped lunatics isn't even the best part of the movie. The best character is played by Ray Dennis Steckler himself and is credited as Cash Flag. Cash Flag looks like he belongs in a skinhead flick like Romper Stomper or something like that because Cash Flag a.k.a. Mad Dog Click looks exactly like a young hooligan with his tightly cropped hair and his tight blue jeans and boots. Aside from his menacing look he is one brutal mother fucker. He truly despises the human race and he gets his kicks from killing, hence the title. In one of his best moments we see him smack a prostitute all over her apartment. Next time I watch this movie I really have to count the slaps because there is a lot. Next he verbally abuses her and makes her quite aware of his hatred for human beings. He finishes the "Cheap" hooker off with a pair of scissors.
We also get a police massacre, a dead cowboy, death by poisoned coffee, a motorcycle and horse chase scene complete with shoot out and a murder. Throw in the decapitations and a dive off a cliff and we have one hell of a entertaining exploitation flick.
Those who are familiar with Ray Dennis Stecklers films rightfully might be worried. After all the man was responsible for such stinkers as The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) and Rat Pfink and Boo Boo (1966) but The Thrill Killers is by far the best of his films that I have seen. Its up in the ranks of greats like David Friedman and some of Russ Myer's more violent work like Motor Psycho and Faster Pussy Cat, Kill! Kill!
Maybe its because Arch Hall was part of the same film ring as The Thrill Killers director Ray Dennis Steckler. Arch Hall Junior even stared in Steckler's first film The Wild Guitar as Bud Eagle the typical Arch Hall Jr. beach-bum who has entirely to much hair product in his blond mop and drives the beach-babes wild with his crazy guitar playing.
However as I mentioned before this one plays more like The Sadist. We have three escaped mental patients who are running around with axes, guns and knives, chopping the heads off of helpless victims. In one of my favorite scenes we see one of our escaped lunatics picking pieces of scalp off the blade of his axe and he says "Poor Jack, He had dandruff". This is a perfect example of the dark and yet humorous tone that runs throughout The Thrill Killers.
However the three escaped lunatics isn't even the best part of the movie. The best character is played by Ray Dennis Steckler himself and is credited as Cash Flag. Cash Flag looks like he belongs in a skinhead flick like Romper Stomper or something like that because Cash Flag a.k.a. Mad Dog Click looks exactly like a young hooligan with his tightly cropped hair and his tight blue jeans and boots. Aside from his menacing look he is one brutal mother fucker. He truly despises the human race and he gets his kicks from killing, hence the title. In one of his best moments we see him smack a prostitute all over her apartment. Next time I watch this movie I really have to count the slaps because there is a lot. Next he verbally abuses her and makes her quite aware of his hatred for human beings. He finishes the "Cheap" hooker off with a pair of scissors.
We also get a police massacre, a dead cowboy, death by poisoned coffee, a motorcycle and horse chase scene complete with shoot out and a murder. Throw in the decapitations and a dive off a cliff and we have one hell of a entertaining exploitation flick.
Those who are familiar with Ray Dennis Stecklers films rightfully might be worried. After all the man was responsible for such stinkers as The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) and Rat Pfink and Boo Boo (1966) but The Thrill Killers is by far the best of his films that I have seen. Its up in the ranks of greats like David Friedman and some of Russ Myer's more violent work like Motor Psycho and Faster Pussy Cat, Kill! Kill!
Don't Answer The Phone (1980)
1980 and 1981 was such a great time for Slashers. We had huge titles like Friday The 13th but then we also had the really nasty, violent ones like Maniac and The Prowler. Don't Answer The Phone holds the same tone as movies like Maniac with its level of realistic depravity.
The thing that separates Don't Answer The Phone from Maniac is the lack of gore but its understandable considering the psychopath in this movie is a strangler. I have to admit the gore hound in me was just a bit disappointed with the lack of the red stuff but Don't Answer The Phone is still very affective without it. Our villain is a total nut-bag who fancies himself as a sort of prophet who's mission is to cleanse human garbage through vicious strangulation and of course rape. "Was she raped? In every orifice in her body". We have seen the religious fanatic, psycho in countless slasher flicks but the thing that makes this character so interesting is that the viewer never really believes that he even feels what he is doing is right. He's a total sicko and he hates human beings and his only gratification in life is doing harm to others. Then there is the fact that our killer is always making crazy faces and his personalities seem to switch at the drop of a hat.
Since our killers weapon of choice is a pair of pantyhose that he can tighten around his victims throats we get quite a bit of nudity. Every killer has style and this guy isn't content with just going down to Macy's and buying a new pair of stalkings. He takes each pair off of his victim and will use it later on his next. I felt that this gave the killer a bit more depth and all though there was more room for character development I don't think any viewers will be disappointed by the films climax. Everything becomes quite clear as to the kind of man the killer is.
Fans of "Don't!" movies such as Don't Go In The Basement, Don't Go In The Woods, Don't Open Till Christmas etc. should really add Don't Answer The Phone to their collection its a true sickie from the most vile year of the Slasher genre.
The thing that separates Don't Answer The Phone from Maniac is the lack of gore but its understandable considering the psychopath in this movie is a strangler. I have to admit the gore hound in me was just a bit disappointed with the lack of the red stuff but Don't Answer The Phone is still very affective without it. Our villain is a total nut-bag who fancies himself as a sort of prophet who's mission is to cleanse human garbage through vicious strangulation and of course rape. "Was she raped? In every orifice in her body". We have seen the religious fanatic, psycho in countless slasher flicks but the thing that makes this character so interesting is that the viewer never really believes that he even feels what he is doing is right. He's a total sicko and he hates human beings and his only gratification in life is doing harm to others. Then there is the fact that our killer is always making crazy faces and his personalities seem to switch at the drop of a hat.
Since our killers weapon of choice is a pair of pantyhose that he can tighten around his victims throats we get quite a bit of nudity. Every killer has style and this guy isn't content with just going down to Macy's and buying a new pair of stalkings. He takes each pair off of his victim and will use it later on his next. I felt that this gave the killer a bit more depth and all though there was more room for character development I don't think any viewers will be disappointed by the films climax. Everything becomes quite clear as to the kind of man the killer is.
Fans of "Don't!" movies such as Don't Go In The Basement, Don't Go In The Woods, Don't Open Till Christmas etc. should really add Don't Answer The Phone to their collection its a true sickie from the most vile year of the Slasher genre.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Philosophy Of A Knife (2008)
Philosophy Of A Knife is one of the most relentless and mentally trying films that I have ever tried to sit through. Its a four and a half hour long splatter-fest depicting the atrocities and human experiments lead by General Ishi and his Japanese scientist known as Unit 731, a top secret military unit doing research on biological warfare.
Philosophy differs from other films based on the exploits of Unit 731 in the fact that the film has no social message or standpoint. Those familiar with movies like Men Behind The Sun are aware of how grizzly and disturbing these experiments were but at the same time those other films tend to be a patriotic Chinese cry of dispaire. Philosophy is the exact opposite and is a much deeper film. Its part documentary with narration explaining the war and Japans scientific advances. We have interviews from a man who was there as an interpreter and the film also claims to have uncovered facts that were previously unknown to the world. Then the rest of the film is pretty much all reenactments of the experiments that went on in Unit 731. For me the films down fault was that they tried to add in a small story line about a Japanese soldier who is falling in love with one of the Guinea pig, prisoners. I felt it was a waste of run time and the film was long enough without it. Then the director chooses to shoot entirely to much snow footage which does break up the horrible torture scenes but really doesn't serve much purpose and causes the film to run even longer then necessary.
On the other hand Philosophy Of A Knife is one of the hardest films to sit through and I would never recommend trying to sit through the whole thing in one sitting. The film should be seen in two parts in order to keep the viewer from sinking into a depression. Its almost impossible to explain the cruelty that takes place in this movie and after watching it the movie from beginning to end its really hard to have any respect for fellow man. Some of the most disturbing scenes in the movie show a syphilis rape scene forced at gun point and the aftermath of a uncontrolled case of the sexually transmitted disease. We also see a prisoner who has a giant cockroach shoved up in her vagina and is later skinned alive in search of the filthy bug. We have a horrible scene where a boy is striped naked and brought out into the freezing cold where he is tied to a post and has cold water dumped on his body until he completely frost bitten. Then he is brought back to the lab where they put his limbs into hot water and his skin falls off until he is pretty much a skeleton. Children are sewn together, We get a disgusting abortion scene, veins and main arteries are sliced open with medical tools so the military can see how much time a soldier has to bleed to death when hit in vital areas. The torture goes on and on with gas chambers, torture by electricity, decapitations, dismemberment's, radiation and basically any other awful atrocity that you can think of.
After being subjected to the full 4 hours of these experiments I personally couldn't help but feel like I was tortured myself. If there is anything that Philosophy doesn't do it is glorify the violence. I have heard many call this movie a modern exploitation film with over the top gore. I don't know if I can agree with this statement because I felt the opposite. I felt the agony of those torture scenes and really couldn't wait for the film to end. It was just to much to handle and I have came back and watched the movie in full more then once to see if I found it as disturbing as the first time. The answer is yes. The movie seems to take a bit of your soul every time you see it and for that reason I feel that it is an important piece of cinema that needs to be seen. Now if you will excuse me I am going to go vomit!
Philosophy differs from other films based on the exploits of Unit 731 in the fact that the film has no social message or standpoint. Those familiar with movies like Men Behind The Sun are aware of how grizzly and disturbing these experiments were but at the same time those other films tend to be a patriotic Chinese cry of dispaire. Philosophy is the exact opposite and is a much deeper film. Its part documentary with narration explaining the war and Japans scientific advances. We have interviews from a man who was there as an interpreter and the film also claims to have uncovered facts that were previously unknown to the world. Then the rest of the film is pretty much all reenactments of the experiments that went on in Unit 731. For me the films down fault was that they tried to add in a small story line about a Japanese soldier who is falling in love with one of the Guinea pig, prisoners. I felt it was a waste of run time and the film was long enough without it. Then the director chooses to shoot entirely to much snow footage which does break up the horrible torture scenes but really doesn't serve much purpose and causes the film to run even longer then necessary.
On the other hand Philosophy Of A Knife is one of the hardest films to sit through and I would never recommend trying to sit through the whole thing in one sitting. The film should be seen in two parts in order to keep the viewer from sinking into a depression. Its almost impossible to explain the cruelty that takes place in this movie and after watching it the movie from beginning to end its really hard to have any respect for fellow man. Some of the most disturbing scenes in the movie show a syphilis rape scene forced at gun point and the aftermath of a uncontrolled case of the sexually transmitted disease. We also see a prisoner who has a giant cockroach shoved up in her vagina and is later skinned alive in search of the filthy bug. We have a horrible scene where a boy is striped naked and brought out into the freezing cold where he is tied to a post and has cold water dumped on his body until he completely frost bitten. Then he is brought back to the lab where they put his limbs into hot water and his skin falls off until he is pretty much a skeleton. Children are sewn together, We get a disgusting abortion scene, veins and main arteries are sliced open with medical tools so the military can see how much time a soldier has to bleed to death when hit in vital areas. The torture goes on and on with gas chambers, torture by electricity, decapitations, dismemberment's, radiation and basically any other awful atrocity that you can think of.
After being subjected to the full 4 hours of these experiments I personally couldn't help but feel like I was tortured myself. If there is anything that Philosophy doesn't do it is glorify the violence. I have heard many call this movie a modern exploitation film with over the top gore. I don't know if I can agree with this statement because I felt the opposite. I felt the agony of those torture scenes and really couldn't wait for the film to end. It was just to much to handle and I have came back and watched the movie in full more then once to see if I found it as disturbing as the first time. The answer is yes. The movie seems to take a bit of your soul every time you see it and for that reason I feel that it is an important piece of cinema that needs to be seen. Now if you will excuse me I am going to go vomit!
Jacktown (1962)
Jacktown is supposed to be the true story of a Juvenile Delinquent who is sent to Jacksonville prison (A prison with a very unique and violent history) for statutory rape. Our delinquent is involved with drug trafficking, mugging, heists and of course fornicating with 15 year old girls and is sent to the big house where he will meet other real life losers.
Jacktown starts off with a bang. We see our anti-hero and his delinquent friend clobber a middle aged man in a botched up mugging scene and its not long before a narrator comes in and explains the history of Jacksonville prison. According to the movie two inmates held a prison guard hostage and eventually took over the prison. This lead to a two day riot where inmates took out their anger on prison guards and other faculty. After the two days were up the inmates started running low on food and turned against each other. You can only imagine the violence and bloodshed that took place behind those prison walls. The governor eventually met an agreement with the inmates. If they stop the revolt they will all be treated to a steak diner and ice cream for desert. As cool as this background story is we don't get any live footage of the violent prison riot. We do get a bunch of stills showing the damage done to the prison. I guess a picture is better then nothing.
Unfortunately the film really slows down when it becomes a love story. Our pretty-boy delinquent is given special rights by the warden for some reason or another and is allowed to work in the wardens garden.
The wardens daughter happens to be no other then Patty (The Bad Seed) McCormack. This time Patty isn't a murdering sociopath. Instead she is the not so smart, rapist sympathizer. Its not long before the warden notices that his hot daughter is spending a little bit to much time with our handsome rapist and he removes the kid from garden work at his house. Our delinquent makes a jail break and runs off to see innocent Patty McCormack and she bribes him with some virgin vagina to go back and finish out his sentence.
Jacktown is silly and a bit stupid and not quite as fun as other Juvenile Delinquent films of the sort but it does have its moments and some funny quotes. "He's sitting in my back yard right now, listening to that awful rock & roll". Worth a watch for fans of this sort of movie just don't expect any big rumbles or another Black Board Jungle.
Jacktown starts off with a bang. We see our anti-hero and his delinquent friend clobber a middle aged man in a botched up mugging scene and its not long before a narrator comes in and explains the history of Jacksonville prison. According to the movie two inmates held a prison guard hostage and eventually took over the prison. This lead to a two day riot where inmates took out their anger on prison guards and other faculty. After the two days were up the inmates started running low on food and turned against each other. You can only imagine the violence and bloodshed that took place behind those prison walls. The governor eventually met an agreement with the inmates. If they stop the revolt they will all be treated to a steak diner and ice cream for desert. As cool as this background story is we don't get any live footage of the violent prison riot. We do get a bunch of stills showing the damage done to the prison. I guess a picture is better then nothing.
Unfortunately the film really slows down when it becomes a love story. Our pretty-boy delinquent is given special rights by the warden for some reason or another and is allowed to work in the wardens garden.
The wardens daughter happens to be no other then Patty (The Bad Seed) McCormack. This time Patty isn't a murdering sociopath. Instead she is the not so smart, rapist sympathizer. Its not long before the warden notices that his hot daughter is spending a little bit to much time with our handsome rapist and he removes the kid from garden work at his house. Our delinquent makes a jail break and runs off to see innocent Patty McCormack and she bribes him with some virgin vagina to go back and finish out his sentence.
Jacktown is silly and a bit stupid and not quite as fun as other Juvenile Delinquent films of the sort but it does have its moments and some funny quotes. "He's sitting in my back yard right now, listening to that awful rock & roll". Worth a watch for fans of this sort of movie just don't expect any big rumbles or another Black Board Jungle.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Warlock Moon (1975)
This movie is a prime example of when my trailer addiction comes to bite me in the ass. Warlock Moon's trailer makes it look like its going to be a blood soaked slasher with some added supernatural crap for extra ridiculousness. Then there is also the fact that Warlock Moon also known as Bloody Spa is often related to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Which is completely ridiculous.
There is one scene that is almost identical to the great Texas Chainsaw Massacre (T.C.M.) and its the moment where the kids first find the creepy old house in the middle of nowhere. Aside from this scene the two films couldn't be more different. Texas Chainsaw is a harrowing tale of cannibals and the victims decent into madness where Warlock Moon is a silly flick filled with goofy characters who wear fake nose & mustache glasses and as far as my expectations for a gory slasher flick goes... Well lets just say all of the murders happen off screen and the most brutality we witness is a old lady drinking some blood.
Warlock Moon was a complete let down and the fact that anybody would relate it to T.C.M. is just offensive. Just in case if the trailer wasn't misleading enough they made sure to give the film a title that has no comparison either. There is not a Warlock to be found in the whole damn movie. Skip it!
There is one scene that is almost identical to the great Texas Chainsaw Massacre (T.C.M.) and its the moment where the kids first find the creepy old house in the middle of nowhere. Aside from this scene the two films couldn't be more different. Texas Chainsaw is a harrowing tale of cannibals and the victims decent into madness where Warlock Moon is a silly flick filled with goofy characters who wear fake nose & mustache glasses and as far as my expectations for a gory slasher flick goes... Well lets just say all of the murders happen off screen and the most brutality we witness is a old lady drinking some blood.
Warlock Moon was a complete let down and the fact that anybody would relate it to T.C.M. is just offensive. Just in case if the trailer wasn't misleading enough they made sure to give the film a title that has no comparison either. There is not a Warlock to be found in the whole damn movie. Skip it!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The Dungeon Of Harrow (1962)
This one makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Citizen Kane. Take Bloody Pit Of Horror and mix in elements of a John Ashly movie and a boring period piece with lots of talky scenes from a Hammer Studios picture and what you get is The Dungeon Of Harrow also known as The Dungeon Of Horror.
This one is pretty terrible from beginning to end. Its about two men who are left ship wreaked and stranded on a island occupied by a madman who resides in a castle.
The owner of the castle goes by the name of Count De Sade and nobody knows how to pronounce De Sade correctly. Anyway the count looks exactly like the guy who plays Compton in the hippie/killer 1969 flick Joe. Unfortunately it is not the same actor and nobody
in this thing has the slightest clue how to act. The dialogue is atrocious and the lines are delivered as if we were watching a bad kung fu flick. They couldn't even get the torture scenes right in this movie. We have whippings, Chinese water torture, a knife through the chest, hot-poker-fu, some gun violence and bitch slapping. With torture scenes like this you would think they could have given us just a bit of blood but instead we are lucky if we get some scratches. I have seen more damage done in highschool cat fights.
Dungeon Of Harrow gets a slight chuckle from its general incompetent ways but it drags at an awful crawling pace. The colors of the film fades from reds to yellows and at times becomes so washed out it almost looks black and white. We get flying bats on very visible strings, a giant spider that comes from the ceiling, two rotting women, a magician with a really annoying voice, a toy model pirate ship that sinks and most certainly doesn't pass for the real deal and this is all tightened together with a audio track that sounds like it was recorded in the bathroom at C.B.G.B's.
This one should only appeal to lovers of as bad as they get B-movies. It was a little bit to bad for me and seemed to work as a better sedative then a movie. If they upped the violence and added some sleaze perhaps I could have made it through in one sitting. Snore!
This one is pretty terrible from beginning to end. Its about two men who are left ship wreaked and stranded on a island occupied by a madman who resides in a castle.
The owner of the castle goes by the name of Count De Sade and nobody knows how to pronounce De Sade correctly. Anyway the count looks exactly like the guy who plays Compton in the hippie/killer 1969 flick Joe. Unfortunately it is not the same actor and nobody
in this thing has the slightest clue how to act. The dialogue is atrocious and the lines are delivered as if we were watching a bad kung fu flick. They couldn't even get the torture scenes right in this movie. We have whippings, Chinese water torture, a knife through the chest, hot-poker-fu, some gun violence and bitch slapping. With torture scenes like this you would think they could have given us just a bit of blood but instead we are lucky if we get some scratches. I have seen more damage done in highschool cat fights.
Dungeon Of Harrow gets a slight chuckle from its general incompetent ways but it drags at an awful crawling pace. The colors of the film fades from reds to yellows and at times becomes so washed out it almost looks black and white. We get flying bats on very visible strings, a giant spider that comes from the ceiling, two rotting women, a magician with a really annoying voice, a toy model pirate ship that sinks and most certainly doesn't pass for the real deal and this is all tightened together with a audio track that sounds like it was recorded in the bathroom at C.B.G.B's.
This one should only appeal to lovers of as bad as they get B-movies. It was a little bit to bad for me and seemed to work as a better sedative then a movie. If they upped the violence and added some sleaze perhaps I could have made it through in one sitting. Snore!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Many Quentin Tarantino fans say the young director lost his freshness with his youth. Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction made its mark and now the man is living off his name alone. I do not totally agree with this and I still am a fan of Tarantino's work. I liked Kill Bill and Death Proof but Inglourious Basterds is entirely to long and boring as well. If this thing was cut down to a 90 minute film it would probably be much more tolerable but instead we get long drawn out talky scenes and the truth is that the dialogue just isn't as interesting as it was in Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs. Basterds does offer up a great opening scene with some brilliant dialogue but Tarantino must have blown his load on that one seen. We also get some violence which really helps the film crawl along at a slightly faster pace. We have a character known as The Bear Jew who likes to bash the brains in on Nazi soldiers, lots of gun-fu, Hitler gets his face blown off, Swastikas are carved into the foreheads of Nazi scum, brutal stabbings and some silly guns that are taped to the hands of the Basterds. The climax is slightly entertaining. It all comes to a end with a theater full of Nazi's burning to the ground. Aside from the more graphic moments Inglourious Basterds has nothing going for it and the original 1978 version is a much more entertaining watch. The worst part of it all is that the last sentence in the movie is "I think this might be my masterpiece" Hmmm anyone else think that Quentin Tarantino might be a little bit confused and conceited?
The Fighter (2010)
Usually I do everything in my power to stay away from sappy Hollywood movies where everything works out in the end, Not only do I despise the standard format of modern film making but life affirming endings drive me crazy. The Fighter however did surprise me. Sure it had the exact formula that I mentioned above but it also offered something else... and that would be Christian Bale all hopped up on crack. Its quite amusing to watch Bale twitching and ranting about boxing and any other nonsense the writer felt necessary to throw in. Not only do we get to see Bale blast some rock but we also follow him in and out of crack houses filled with hookers and other basic degenerate scum. He eventually goes to prison and cleans up his act and the film of course took a negative turn for me at this point.
The Fighter really should only appeal to two people. Christian Bale fans and 12 year old girls who want to drool over Mark Wahlbergs pecks. Somehow I fit into one of these categories and I really can't decide which one it is...
The Fighter really should only appeal to two people. Christian Bale fans and 12 year old girls who want to drool over Mark Wahlbergs pecks. Somehow I fit into one of these categories and I really can't decide which one it is...
Horror Rises From The Tomb (1973)
Horror Rises From The Tomb is one of my favorites from Paul Naschy. Not because its a epic film but mainly because of the overall madness that goes on throughout the 95 minute run time.
The film opens up with Paul Naschy being accused of black magic. He is then decapitated and his beautiful woman is strung up by her ankles, whipped and burnt at the stake. The whole movie is chock full of gratuitous nudity and violence and although the plot might not be the most comprensive in cinema history it sure is a fun one to watch. The viewer never knows what is coming next but eventually learns that the next frame will probably be as sleazy as the last.
It mixes all the major horror genres into one big mix of zombies, black magic, witches and possessed madmen who run around hacking up pretty women. We also have a John Carradine look alike who's weapon of choice is a slingblade and he does his share of maiming and mangling women. Theres also some gory gun-violence and a really awesome scene involving a execution of two murderers by local vigilantes. The musical score is reminiscent of a classic Hammer film and the dubbing will please Kung Fu fan-boys.
This one is perfect with a group of drunken friends or alone. Not recommended for anyone in the mood for a very serious movie. This one is about as serious as Evil Dead Part 2 : Dead By Dawn.
The film opens up with Paul Naschy being accused of black magic. He is then decapitated and his beautiful woman is strung up by her ankles, whipped and burnt at the stake. The whole movie is chock full of gratuitous nudity and violence and although the plot might not be the most comprensive in cinema history it sure is a fun one to watch. The viewer never knows what is coming next but eventually learns that the next frame will probably be as sleazy as the last.
It mixes all the major horror genres into one big mix of zombies, black magic, witches and possessed madmen who run around hacking up pretty women. We also have a John Carradine look alike who's weapon of choice is a slingblade and he does his share of maiming and mangling women. Theres also some gory gun-violence and a really awesome scene involving a execution of two murderers by local vigilantes. The musical score is reminiscent of a classic Hammer film and the dubbing will please Kung Fu fan-boys.
This one is perfect with a group of drunken friends or alone. Not recommended for anyone in the mood for a very serious movie. This one is about as serious as Evil Dead Part 2 : Dead By Dawn.
Revolver (1973)
This one also goes by the name of Blood In The Streets but blood there is very little of. In fact this is probably one of the most boring Italian crime flicks I have ever seen. It stars Oliver Reed as a pissed off cop who's wife has been kidnapped by the mob and costars Fabio Testi (Lucio Fulci's Contraband and What Have You Done To Solange?) as escaped convict.
Oliver Reed follows mafia orders and helps Fabio Testi escape from prison. In return the mob is supposed to uphold their half of the bargain and release Reeds wife. Well there are a whole shitload of twists in the plot and it turns out that there is a price on Testi's head (Ha Testi's-head just doesn't sound right) and Reed and Testi join forces against a powerful mob who's arms stretch from common street criminals to cops and even politicians.
The main problem with Revolver is that it just isn't violent enough and the constant plot twists get tiresome and eventually annoying. The viewer awaits the big final shoot-em-up revenge scene and it never really comes. Revolver also sports one of the biggest cop-out endings of all time and I felt cheated just watching this thing on dvd. If I had seen this in the theater back in 1973 I would have wanted my money back or possibly have put a hit out on the writers head.
The film does offer up one violent murder by gun complete with blood squirting squibs and no the gun isn't a Revolver. It also sports a cool scene where a man is run over by a car, a few bare breasted ladies and a maniac who tries to commit harakiri. "Are you Japanese? Only the Japanese know how to end their life with a knife... You are going to put yourself in a great deal of pain." I recommend avoiding this one unless of course you are Japanese and happen to have a sharp object laying around.
Oliver Reed follows mafia orders and helps Fabio Testi escape from prison. In return the mob is supposed to uphold their half of the bargain and release Reeds wife. Well there are a whole shitload of twists in the plot and it turns out that there is a price on Testi's head (Ha Testi's-head just doesn't sound right) and Reed and Testi join forces against a powerful mob who's arms stretch from common street criminals to cops and even politicians.
The main problem with Revolver is that it just isn't violent enough and the constant plot twists get tiresome and eventually annoying. The viewer awaits the big final shoot-em-up revenge scene and it never really comes. Revolver also sports one of the biggest cop-out endings of all time and I felt cheated just watching this thing on dvd. If I had seen this in the theater back in 1973 I would have wanted my money back or possibly have put a hit out on the writers head.
The film does offer up one violent murder by gun complete with blood squirting squibs and no the gun isn't a Revolver. It also sports a cool scene where a man is run over by a car, a few bare breasted ladies and a maniac who tries to commit harakiri. "Are you Japanese? Only the Japanese know how to end their life with a knife... You are going to put yourself in a great deal of pain." I recommend avoiding this one unless of course you are Japanese and happen to have a sharp object laying around.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Double Exposure (1983)
This one starts off with a nice slash-em-up scene and then almost immediately dulls down into a boring drawn out soap opera. Its pretty easy to tell what happened here. Crown International probably wanted a trashy slasher filled with nudity and sleaze and instead the asshole writer/director tried to be an artist and give this thing a hint of class but as I mentioned, it comes off looking more like a crappy made for t.v. movie with some tits and ass and a decent murder or two.
The truth is that Double Exposure also known as The Model Killer, which is a much better title for this movie had potential. Its about a photographer with some deep rooted mommy issues who is having grizzly nightmares about killing women. When his models start turning up dead, he can no longer tell if he is sane or not.
Some of the highlights aside from the nudity involves some mud wrestling, a crazy murder scene where a really annoying chick has her head shoved in a garbage bag with a rattle snake inside of it. The only sad thing is that the snake suffocates with her. Then we get some creepy rantings of a madman, A flamboyant homosexual he calls men "bitch" and we even have a guy running around with only one arm and leg. The film is lacking in the gore department but does have one decent hack-em-up scene, complete with throat slashing and torso mutilation. Double Exposure also attempts at a twist in the plot but I saw it a mile away and thought it to be typical of the type of writer who would release this type of thing. It also looks like they used two different kinds of film cause certain scenes look like they were done with 35mm film and others look glossy and shallow almost giving it a shot on video look. The film is entirely to emotional and it really holds it back from the sleazy monster it could have been.
Basically if this director got over his ego problem and just gave us another slasher it probably would have been a great movie but instead he bores us with this thing. What do they call them again, Thrillers?
The truth is that Double Exposure also known as The Model Killer, which is a much better title for this movie had potential. Its about a photographer with some deep rooted mommy issues who is having grizzly nightmares about killing women. When his models start turning up dead, he can no longer tell if he is sane or not.
Some of the highlights aside from the nudity involves some mud wrestling, a crazy murder scene where a really annoying chick has her head shoved in a garbage bag with a rattle snake inside of it. The only sad thing is that the snake suffocates with her. Then we get some creepy rantings of a madman, A flamboyant homosexual he calls men "bitch" and we even have a guy running around with only one arm and leg. The film is lacking in the gore department but does have one decent hack-em-up scene, complete with throat slashing and torso mutilation. Double Exposure also attempts at a twist in the plot but I saw it a mile away and thought it to be typical of the type of writer who would release this type of thing. It also looks like they used two different kinds of film cause certain scenes look like they were done with 35mm film and others look glossy and shallow almost giving it a shot on video look. The film is entirely to emotional and it really holds it back from the sleazy monster it could have been.
Basically if this director got over his ego problem and just gave us another slasher it probably would have been a great movie but instead he bores us with this thing. What do they call them again, Thrillers?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Cry Uncle (1971)
After watching a crazy sexploitation spy flick like Cry Uncle its almost impossible to believe that the director would go on to do Hollywood sleepers like Rocky and the Karate Kid trilogy. On the other hand he is the same madman that gave us the 1969 hippie-killing Joe. What a great one that is!!! Cry Uncle has some hippies thrown in for added fun but in reality it is just one hell of a sleazy movie.
Its filled from beginning to end with male and female full frontal nudity, we get necrophilia, a rich and powerful sexist who molests women at will, simulated statatory rape, gay sex and every type of fetish you can think of is mentioned. We even have a hardcore scene thrown in which they used the film negatives to show instead of a crisp print. The best part is Cry Uncle is a comedy. Only in the 70's would someone make a comedy like this. It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear people say "we came such a long way" and movies like Something About Mary are so racy. Not the fact! I wish movies like Cry Uncle were still being made today.
It tells the tale of a fat private dick named Masters, who takes on a new case with the help of a prostitute and his nephew who is supposed to be a minor. It just so happens that this new case involves every kind of pervert you can think of and the rest of the story doesn't matter because what we get is 90 minutes of pure filth and madness.
Masters seems to have no problem parading around naked with his giant man-gut and not so giant penis. One can't help but laugh as this slob spills milk on his naked body or gets his penis washed by black hookers. "Hey you're gonna make it shrink... If it shrinks any more, we are in trouble".
My personal favorite character is Mr. Dominic. His introduction shows him reading a 70's issue of Screw magazine on his private boat and this guy just has all the best lines. "There are two types of people in this world... Those who fuck and those who get fucked". "Ya know why I'm so happy? It's because I'm not a woman! How can anybody be happy when they get fucked all the time". Its really hard to pick a favorite but I also found this quote to be very pleasing on the ears, "She had a pussy like honey" or this one, "She's soft on the outside like a babies bottom but in the inside she is steel machinery" what ever that means.
Cry Uncle is the perfect movie for any pervert like myself who loves pure smut for filth sake. I'm not sure if anybody ever found this thing to be sexy but I sure did find it funny. Cry Uncle is going down into my top favorite comedy list.
Its filled from beginning to end with male and female full frontal nudity, we get necrophilia, a rich and powerful sexist who molests women at will, simulated statatory rape, gay sex and every type of fetish you can think of is mentioned. We even have a hardcore scene thrown in which they used the film negatives to show instead of a crisp print. The best part is Cry Uncle is a comedy. Only in the 70's would someone make a comedy like this. It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear people say "we came such a long way" and movies like Something About Mary are so racy. Not the fact! I wish movies like Cry Uncle were still being made today.
It tells the tale of a fat private dick named Masters, who takes on a new case with the help of a prostitute and his nephew who is supposed to be a minor. It just so happens that this new case involves every kind of pervert you can think of and the rest of the story doesn't matter because what we get is 90 minutes of pure filth and madness.
Masters seems to have no problem parading around naked with his giant man-gut and not so giant penis. One can't help but laugh as this slob spills milk on his naked body or gets his penis washed by black hookers. "Hey you're gonna make it shrink... If it shrinks any more, we are in trouble".
My personal favorite character is Mr. Dominic. His introduction shows him reading a 70's issue of Screw magazine on his private boat and this guy just has all the best lines. "There are two types of people in this world... Those who fuck and those who get fucked". "Ya know why I'm so happy? It's because I'm not a woman! How can anybody be happy when they get fucked all the time". Its really hard to pick a favorite but I also found this quote to be very pleasing on the ears, "She had a pussy like honey" or this one, "She's soft on the outside like a babies bottom but in the inside she is steel machinery" what ever that means.
Cry Uncle is the perfect movie for any pervert like myself who loves pure smut for filth sake. I'm not sure if anybody ever found this thing to be sexy but I sure did find it funny. Cry Uncle is going down into my top favorite comedy list.
Phantasm 2 (1988)
Almost a decade later a sequel is released to the classic 1979 killer-balls flick Phantasm. Where the sequel doesn't hold up to the originals horror or weird dream-like atmosphere it attempts to pick up the slack with 80's gore and action. I suppose it does an okay job in that department but the story is an outright mess.
The reason the original movie worked so well was because we had all these really strange things going on, most of which went unexplained, which makes a sequel a very difficult project.
Part 2 does not feature older brother Jody. Jody is dead and little Mike has been locked away in a mental institution for the past decade or so and he is finally released back into society where he will be reunited with cinemas only balding, ass-kicking, ice cream vendor Reggie Bannister and together they will travel across country in search of The Tall (Angus Scrimm) Man. Most Phantasm fans including myself consider Reggie the real hero and not Mike. I assume its just because his character is so ridiculous. Well in Phantasm 2 Reggie has no lack of screen time. He has sex with a long haired skinny brunette. He pisses in public, He customizes his shotguns into a quadruple barrel shotgun and he has himself a nice chainsaw fight complete with genital wounds.
Mike & Reggie travel from town to town in search of The Tall Man but always seem to be a step behind. They come across abandoned towns that have been completely destroyed by The Tall Man. The cemeteries are empty because the corpses are turned into shrunken down zombies and we also get more of the killer-sphere-fu. In one scene a man has his hand drilled into by the shiny ball, leaving him no option but to cut his own hand off with a hatchet. We also get a gruesome scene where a killer-ball carves its way into a mans body and rips him up from the inside and eventually comes out through his mouth. My personal favorite scene involves a bit of sacrilege when a priest is hung by his own rosary beads. We get some nice imagery containing a inverted crucifix and a bit of blasphemous philosophy from The Tall Man.
On the down side things seem to happen for no reason and where the original was creepy and mysterious this one just keeps the audience saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?. Still Phantasm 2 is a fun sequel and holds a place in my heart ever since I first saw it on Monster Vision with the great Joe Bob Briggs. We also get some exploding eyeballs, a human meltdown involving that pretty puss-like yellow substance that we all love so much from the first one, Two exploding houses, a Nightmare On Elm Street type scene where a Kruger type head rips its way out of a young blonds body (its a dream of course), Flamethrower-Fu and a bit of tit for all the boys out there.
I wouldn't waste my time with any of the other sequels. They are just awful. As far as I'm concerned there are only two Phantasm's. Or maybe its one and a half...
The reason the original movie worked so well was because we had all these really strange things going on, most of which went unexplained, which makes a sequel a very difficult project.
Part 2 does not feature older brother Jody. Jody is dead and little Mike has been locked away in a mental institution for the past decade or so and he is finally released back into society where he will be reunited with cinemas only balding, ass-kicking, ice cream vendor Reggie Bannister and together they will travel across country in search of The Tall (Angus Scrimm) Man. Most Phantasm fans including myself consider Reggie the real hero and not Mike. I assume its just because his character is so ridiculous. Well in Phantasm 2 Reggie has no lack of screen time. He has sex with a long haired skinny brunette. He pisses in public, He customizes his shotguns into a quadruple barrel shotgun and he has himself a nice chainsaw fight complete with genital wounds.
Mike & Reggie travel from town to town in search of The Tall Man but always seem to be a step behind. They come across abandoned towns that have been completely destroyed by The Tall Man. The cemeteries are empty because the corpses are turned into shrunken down zombies and we also get more of the killer-sphere-fu. In one scene a man has his hand drilled into by the shiny ball, leaving him no option but to cut his own hand off with a hatchet. We also get a gruesome scene where a killer-ball carves its way into a mans body and rips him up from the inside and eventually comes out through his mouth. My personal favorite scene involves a bit of sacrilege when a priest is hung by his own rosary beads. We get some nice imagery containing a inverted crucifix and a bit of blasphemous philosophy from The Tall Man.
On the down side things seem to happen for no reason and where the original was creepy and mysterious this one just keeps the audience saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?. Still Phantasm 2 is a fun sequel and holds a place in my heart ever since I first saw it on Monster Vision with the great Joe Bob Briggs. We also get some exploding eyeballs, a human meltdown involving that pretty puss-like yellow substance that we all love so much from the first one, Two exploding houses, a Nightmare On Elm Street type scene where a Kruger type head rips its way out of a young blonds body (its a dream of course), Flamethrower-Fu and a bit of tit for all the boys out there.
I wouldn't waste my time with any of the other sequels. They are just awful. As far as I'm concerned there are only two Phantasm's. Or maybe its one and a half...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Crucible Of Horror (1971)
Were we watching the same movie? I couldn't believe the reviews that this thing got on IMDB.Com. Apparently everybody thinks that Crucible Of Horror also known as The Corpse is a work of genius but in reality it is nothing more then a ripoff of Diabolique and when its all finished it doesn't make any sense.
Its not that I thought the movie was horrible but there are so many plot holes in this movie that one can't help but be annoyed at the films ending.
Crucible Of Horror not to be confused with Crucible Of Terror stars Michael Gough who I remember best from his role in Horror Hospital as the mad doctor who drives around in his car with giant blades on it and cuts the heads off of his victims. I guess I'm just a weirdo because most other people like him in those Batman movies. Well anyway this time Gough plays an abusive father with some serious repressed sexual tension towards his sexy 16 year old daughter played by Sharon Gurney (Raw Meat). Gough waits till his daughter comes home from a long bike ride and then caresses the bicycle seat. When he's not feeling his daughters seats. He usually likes to viciously beat her with a riding crop and he is pretty damn good with that thing because he leaves her a bloody mess when he is done.
Goughs wife and daughter decide to kill the abusive man of the house and together they poison good ole dad at gun point. Dad's body somehow disappears and then shows up in completely different places and one can't help but wonder if someone is playing tricks on them but eventually Gough comes back to life to abuse the ladies in his life once again. According to IMDB Crucible Of Horror is supposed to be 91 minutes and the dvd that I picked up is only 88 so perhaps this is part of the reason that I felt the movie was so disjointed but I really don't think so. I really do just think that it makes no sense.
On the upper hand Crucible Of Horror does offer up a bit of tit from Sharon Gurney. We also get the bike-seat rubbing and the violent whippings that I mentioned early, A mysterious corpse swinging from the ceiling as if this was a Friday The 13th movie, Sleazy pedophiles and some really bad wardrobe worn by Gurney. Not to much to recommend here but it is fun watching Michael Gough in another demented role.
Its not that I thought the movie was horrible but there are so many plot holes in this movie that one can't help but be annoyed at the films ending.
Crucible Of Horror not to be confused with Crucible Of Terror stars Michael Gough who I remember best from his role in Horror Hospital as the mad doctor who drives around in his car with giant blades on it and cuts the heads off of his victims. I guess I'm just a weirdo because most other people like him in those Batman movies. Well anyway this time Gough plays an abusive father with some serious repressed sexual tension towards his sexy 16 year old daughter played by Sharon Gurney (Raw Meat). Gough waits till his daughter comes home from a long bike ride and then caresses the bicycle seat. When he's not feeling his daughters seats. He usually likes to viciously beat her with a riding crop and he is pretty damn good with that thing because he leaves her a bloody mess when he is done.
Goughs wife and daughter decide to kill the abusive man of the house and together they poison good ole dad at gun point. Dad's body somehow disappears and then shows up in completely different places and one can't help but wonder if someone is playing tricks on them but eventually Gough comes back to life to abuse the ladies in his life once again. According to IMDB Crucible Of Horror is supposed to be 91 minutes and the dvd that I picked up is only 88 so perhaps this is part of the reason that I felt the movie was so disjointed but I really don't think so. I really do just think that it makes no sense.
On the upper hand Crucible Of Horror does offer up a bit of tit from Sharon Gurney. We also get the bike-seat rubbing and the violent whippings that I mentioned early, A mysterious corpse swinging from the ceiling as if this was a Friday The 13th movie, Sleazy pedophiles and some really bad wardrobe worn by Gurney. Not to much to recommend here but it is fun watching Michael Gough in another demented role.
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