Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Official Friday The 13th Parody (2010)
However the Friday The 13th Parody let me down on every level. It has to be one of the worst hardcore horror parodies to come out yet and this is coming from a guy who isn't really a fan of the Saw movies but was able to dig the porn version.
Sara Sloane hitchhikes to Crystal Lake Nudist Camp despite the legend of Jason, a man who's penis was so big it weighed him down in the lake like a anchor where he drowned. Now Jason stalks the nudist camp and kills horny visitors with his "flesh eating jizz".
The story sounds funny on paper but comes off horrible on screen. We never get to see Jason do anything cool. He basically just walks around masturbating his huge mutant cock and then he shoots CGI jizz on our porn stars and the scene cuts away. In one part they reenact the Kevin Bacon arrow through the neck scene but it was done so poorly/quickly and with computer graphics that it would have been nice if they just left it out all together. The Parody also reenacts the scene where the councilors play stripopoly and to me this was the only intelligent reference in the whole movie. What better way to get into a hardcore sex scene then a game of strip-monopoly.
The thing that pissed me off the most was a flashback that was supposed to show how Jason died. We are supposed to be back in 1972 and it's the most modern looking scene in the whole movie. Jason is a big muscular Spanish man in a wife-beater with tattoos (ridiculous I know) and the blond bimbo is wearing thigh high hot topic boots and a Gothic mini skirt with a modern day school girl tie and a hipster hat. What the fuck! How the hell did they think this was a good idea?
To top off all this the movie had the nerve to go over the 90 minute mark and Ms. Sloane only had one sex scene. Surprisingly it was the worst sex scene in the whole crappy movie and this really surprised me because she really is good at what she does. I personally feel it was the lame dude they paired her up with but who can say. All I know is the Official Friday The 13th Parody was one big let down after another. Everything from the plot right down to the soundtrack. Don't waste your time on this one. If you feel the need to watch a 2010 xxx/horror/spoof check out Saw : A Hardcore Parody because the Official Friday The 13th Parody, officially sucks!