Thursday, April 30, 2015

Centerfold Fever (1981)

This early 80's XXX porno flick has some pretty funny moments. Directed by Richard Mailer (Rape Victims) and starring lots of heavy hitters in the smut industry. Robert Kerman a.k.a. R. Bolla (Cannibal Holocaust, Debbie Does Dallas, Come With Me My Love) plays Mr. Scuzzi, a editor for an adult magazine. His name suits him just right because Kerman's character all though hilarious is out right sleazy. Mr. Scuzzi puts out a add for a new intern with the intentions of manipulating the new gal into posing nude. His real goal is to find the perfect centerfold.

A young Ron Jeremy (All The Way In, Citizen Toxie) plays "The Maniac", the magazines photographer. They call him The Maniac because sometimes while on a shoot he goes ape-shit crazy in a sexual frenzy, rips off all of his clothes and joins in on the action. What a maniac! Ron The Maniac Jeremy offers up many of the films laughs. In one scene he shakes his hips and turns his massive rod into a spinning helicopter while juggling apples. He also does the old Inside Seka gag and sucks his own pecker! However my favorite Ronny moment is his scene with Annie Sprinkle (Bizarre Styles). The dialogue is just way too funny in this scene. Annie is great as always and plays a nympho swinging wife who acts out a triple suck-job and then preforms her booby ballet? The booby ballet scene is terrific and must be seen first hand. Oh Annie, I love you!

Some of Centerfold Fever's  other highlights consist of Marc Steven's who plays himself as Mr. Ten And A Half. Marc Steven's has a maid named heather who comes to his command. In his best moment Marc flips his lid when he is asked if he is really ten and a half inches. He demands his penis is measured immediately "measure it from the asshole". When it turns out to be under ten inches he demands a blowjob so it can grow to its full potential. During this oral scene he calls to his maid "Heather! Assume the normal position" heather promptly gets on her burned up knees and tosses Mr. Ten And A Half's salad. After Marc Steven's busts his nut he has this to say "Heather! Please clean up this spill". There is also a giant movie theater orgy. The perverts in a sleazy movie house all get it on while watching cheesy porno trailers. One of the trailers is called Deep Sheep, a fictitious bestiality flick in which we get to "See Annie Sprinkle milk the cow". Next up we have a demented little S&M scene in which a leather clad bimbo ties her labia in a knot.

While there might not be the worlds best plot in this one, there is enough silly shenanigans going on to keep this one fresh and fun through the running time.


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