Sex And The Single Vampire (1970)

What we have here is one of the weirdest porno films, if you can call it that, that I have ever seen. I saw the very short 27 minute version of this oddity which has all of the hardcore shenanigans cut out but apparently there is an hour long version out there which deliver all of the strange vampire-sex that you can handle.

Johnny The Wadd Holmes is credited as Count Spatula and Bella Donna. Yep that's right he plays a vampire. He comes complete with red lipstick and blue eyeshadow. As if this isn't all weird enough a group of swingers stop by Count Spatula's old mansion for a night of swinging sex. Little do they know that John Holmes is dry as hell and ready for a drink. He ties the naked men together and then joins in on the swinging party with the babes.

This one is supposed to be a comedy and I may just be completely brain-dead but I found it to be pretty damn funny. It wasn't sexy, that's for sure. John Holmes walks around with his foot-long out and he clearly puts every other prick in frame to shame.

Watch Holmes play Dracula. Then watch Holmes play with the girls. See Holmes get electrocuted. See Holmes stay out past dark with his naked lady friends. This is good ole time wasting at its best. Not to smart and not to classy. Just trashy enough to keep a 70's obsessed weirdo happy for a good 30 minutes to an hour, depending on which version you pick up.

Pink Flamingos (1972)

"There are two kinds of people in this world. My kind of people and assholes!" This film is definitely for my kind of people. John Waters, The Pope Of Trash brings us "The filthiest people alive" in this timeless trash flick.

Troma Studios may be chaotic but "it is shit compared to the filth we have in our minds" I like to think of John Waters as an assassin of the hippie movement. John Waters, Charles Manson and punk rock all point out the end of the love generation for me and it is that assassination of the peace generation that spews across the screen in pink flamingos. If only John Waters was aware of the pre punk movement that was happening in New York City. The New York Dolls, The Dictators, The Dead Boys, The Ramones or even Iggy Pop outside of NY would surly have made their way onto the soundtrack. It is that attitude of Armageddon and destructive, violent youth and artistic individuality that is so ironically put on the screen. These people are not hippies. They are punks. They just didn't know any such animal existed.

When you watch Pink Flamingos it is impossible not to see the anger in it. The discontent for social standards and the boredom of television and lame media. This is an attack on everything that the old hold close to heart. It is an attack against the old but it is also an attack against the young. The out dated hippies, the moralists and anybody and everybody with out a sense of humor. It is pure humor in bad taste and if you are an uptight fascist who can't handle the sickness of humanity then this film is not for you.

Devine, The queen of trash film or should I say drag-queen of trashy film plays... himself, the filthiest person alive. Meanwhile two jealous assholes, Connie and Raymond plan on destroying Devine and her reputation. They believe that they are the filthiest people alive.

Raymond enjoys exposing himself to young girls and stealing their purse. Connie runs an illegal baby ring. They kidnap young girls, chain them up in the basement and have their fertile servant Channing rape them. They become impregnated and they sell the babies off to lesbians. They also push heroin on middle school students. Devine is living out her political dream through sheer bad taste. She steals, fights, drives fast and all that good juvenile type stuff. When Connie and Raymond send Devine a piece of shit in the mail for her birthday the battle of filth begins. Lets just say things wont end so well for Connie and Raymond.

This movie comes complete with one of the weirdest sex scenes you will ever see. A man rapes a girl and forces her to hold his pet chickens. The chickens are killed during this scene. Its weird, funny and disturbing at the same time. We also get to see a man sing the Trashmen song Surfing Bird with his asshole. We have she-males, drag-queens, lesbians, fags, a very disgusting blowjob scene and it is all finished off with some shit eating. Every single moment in this movie is disgusting and if you can stomach the most disturbing of horror movies it doesn't exactly mean that you can bare your way through this brand of artistic smut.

Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it. Either way... Go fuck yourself!

The Towering Inferno (1974)

So last week hurricane Sandy or as I like to call it Frankenstorm was on its way to Long Island. It was two days before Halloween and according to the news this was going to be a bad one. So as I waited for the storm I decided to watch a disaster movie. I chose The Towering Inferno.

The storm raged outside of my suburban home as the fire spread across my screen. I was interrupted by the loudest fucking crash I have ever heard. My house shook and all the power went out just as the movie was getting good. A tree came down and pulled the electrical lines from my house and my neighbors. Sparks flew through the air and my neighbors house was catching fire. Naturally I waited till the winds calmed down and got my generator running so I could see the rest of the movie. I don't think I will ever forget The Towering Inferno.

This one was produced by Irwin Allen the same man responsible for Swarm and the best disaster film of all time The Poseidon Adventure. It is an entertaining movie but I personally couldn't help but compare it to The Poseidon Adventure. In that sense The Towering Inferno just doesn't compete. There just isn't that much that you can do with fire. After a while the fire gets a little bit tedious. Buildings on fire, furniture on fire, people on fire. I also felt that the characters were not all that interesting and its a shame because the film has a great cast. Steve Mcqueen (The Blob) plays the bad-ass fire chief. Paul Newman (The Hustler) plays a bad-ass good-guy, Faye Dunnaway (Bonnie And Clyde) is always nice to look at. We also get William Holden (The Wild Bunch) and O.J. Simpson which helps add a bit of camp value to the film. Still the characters are not interesting. Luckily for us it picks up towards the end but the film is on the long side. It clocks in at 165 minutes. We do get all the crazy burn victims and everything that can possibly go wrong does but this one definitely would have worked better if it was cut down to a 90 minute movie.

This one will help you get through the devastation of a hurricane but for a better time just stick with The Poseidon Adventure.

The Nesting (1981)

Armand Weston is amongst my favorite porno directors. Responsible for trashy delights such as Defiance Of Good, The Taking Of Christina and Blue Voodoo. Armand Weston delivers his pornographic smut in films that tend to play more like horror movies and we all know that horror-porn is always the best porn.

In the very early 80's Armand Weston skipped the XXX stuff and just went for a legit horror film. Here it is. This is The Nesting. As far as I know The Nesting is the only title in Armand Weston's filmography that is not pornographic. Still he paints a sleazy picture. It all takes place in a haunted whore-house and even though this is a ghost movie it tends to play more like a slasher film. So basically Weston proves yet again that he is capable of throwing a wrench in the gears and mix things up. His porno films play like horror movies and his ghost films play like trashy slashers.

The Nesting starts off very strong with a heart-pounding opening sequence which introduces us to Lauren who is suffering from agoraphobia. Lauren is on the verge of a complete breakdown as she suffers from the ultimate anxiety. She stumbles through the street and a total collapse seems just around the corner. The camera angles make the outside world look very menacing and the cinematography is very affective. The camera work in this opening scene reminded me more of something like Polanski's Repulsion rather then that of a 70's porno director but those familiar with Armand Weston's work, especially Defiance Of Good should not be to surprised.

After Lauren's breakdown she decides to take a little vacation. She leaves city life behind for an old rundown mansion in the suburbs and when I say rundown I mean it has been abandon for many years and John Carradine is the landlord. Don't get me wrong if I could have John Carradine as a landlord I would probably jump on it as well but someone like Lauren who is obviously not doing so well should have taken Mr. Carradine as a bad omen. This can only turn out bad. Naturally the house is haunted and very strange accidents seem to be happening. This part of the film is a little slow and tends to bore a bit but it eventually will pick up for some grizzly murders. The most memorable scene shows a man having a sickle smashed into his achy-breaky skull. We are also treated to a brothel massacre when we witness a whole house of whores being gun downed one by one in a scene that reminded me of Rolling Thunder.

The Nesting can get slow at times but manages to hold your attention through violence and scenes of bad taste. It comes complete with a twist ending which is nice and it has a bit of T&A to get you through the rough spots. Oh and watch for the crazy stunt where a man throws himself down the stairs. Ouch! One of the better ghosty flicks from this time.

Kinjite : Forbidden Subjects (1989)

Kinjite is  apparently a word that is used in Japan to describe a taboo subject such as sexual abuse, child molesters and prostitutes. Kinjite is a Forbidden Subject in Japanese culture but luckily for us Americans it is not forbidden to watch.

Charles Bronson plays Lieutenant Crowe, a police officer who is on a pretty rough assignment and the job just might be getting to him. A typical day for Lieutenant Crowe involves tracking down pimps and making them eat their $25,000 wrist watch and sticking dildos up child molesters assholes but we will get back to all that good stuff in a bit. Kinjite was directed by J. Lee Thompson (Ten To Midnight, Happy Birthday To Me) and the director offers up all the Forbidden Subjects that we can stand. In this movie Charlie Bronson is tracking down some pimps who like to abduct young (very young) girls, molest them and put them out on the streets addicted to smack for a profit. After Bronson's own daughter is groped on a bus by a perverted Japanese man, he might not be the best candidate to help find a young pre teen Asian girl who has been corrupted by the dirt-bag pimps.

Kinjite is sleazy and disturbing at the same time. The audience can not help but feel uncomfortable with the contents of the depraved subject matter. We have plenty of naked female flesh on display but considering what is happening to these girls it is anything but attractive. This one depends more on the twisted story then it does on the shoot-em-up more typical Bronson stuff. Of course we get all the expected revenge but it is the sickness within the plot that really separates Kinjite from the more typical Death Wish type stuff.

As I mentioned earlier Charlie Bronson has his own way of dealing with the scum on the streets. In the most memorable scene he forces a kiddie-touching pimp to swallow his own watch. Then Bronson blows his car up as a final fuck-you. In another scene he sticks a rubber dick up a mans ass. Now that's justice! He also throws a pimp off of a balcony, leaving a fine looking corpse with a shattered achy-breaky skull. The film also offers up quite a bit of racism from our vengeful hero Bronson. We have young Asian prostitutes, child junkies and multiple explosions. On a down note Kinjite comes complete with one of the worst musical scores I have ever been forced to sit through. The soundtrack is painfully bad but it is a small price to pay for the overall experience of Kinjite.

Although very different in the plot, I would say the best audience for this movie, aside from Charlie Bronson obsessed lunatics would be fans of J. Lee Thompson's Ten To Midnight. Its sick and twisted but justice is served. This one really doesn't work for die hard action fans. Luckily for me, I do not fit into that catagory.

Demons 5 : The Devils Veil (1989)

The legendary Italian director Mario Bava is amongst the greatest film makers in horror history. His son Lamberto Bava although an acquired taste is rather hit or miss. Lamberto Bava started off strong with some very graphic and memorable splatter films from the 80's. Lamberto's earliest work (Demons, Macabre) is without a doubt his best work. As time went on the films of Lamberto Bava seemed to have gotten worse and worse. Demons 5 : The Devils Veil also known as Black Sunday (1989) is a perfect example of Bava Jr's. not so great work.

Lamberto Bava remakes his fathers classic Gothic horror film Black Sunday. He takes the film in a very different direction but somewhere along the way the remake falls very short. It starts off with a group of vacationers skiing in the mountains. They fall into a deep pit with no way out. One of them breaks their leg and the others seem to care less. They find a body buried in the snow with The Mask Of Satan nailed to the face. They remove the mask from the corpse and all hell breaks loose... Literally.

Next the group of vacationers are terrorized by an evil witch named Anibas and the film becomes very repetitive with scenes of sexual deviance and debauchery. It all comes in tact with typical possession & exorcism type stuff. Female nudity, whippings and of course some very bad dialogue. From what I have read this is a pretty rare movie and was barely seen in America. I can't exactly say that this is a bad thing considering that the movie was pretty lame and adds nothing new to Mario's classic tale.

Only worth looking at for Lamberto Bava completest and even so, I wouldn't expect much. The print I saw was almost completely drained of color. The images of gore that splatted its way across the screen were to soft to enjoy but even if someone released a pristine print I do not think it would be much better. My personal favorite moment shows the vacationers telling a girl with a broken leg to "stop crying. Were on vacation and we want to have fun". This one is just bad.

Let My Puppets Come (1976)

Gerard Damiano, director of Deep Throat and The Devil In Miss Jones delivered something a little extra weird in 1976. It was a puppet movie that would come in the form of a hardcore XXX porno film.

If you are a lover of the strange and weird Let My Puppets Come serves as a perfect novelty to add to your archives of the bizarre. The running time ranges anywhere from 45 minutes to 75 minutes depending on how cut your print is but even with the longer 75 minute  uncut version you are left wishing there was more. Let My Puppets Come is fast paced, funny and so fucking weird that you have to love it.

The story follows a group of business men who are financially doomed. They feel the pressure coming down on them from some dangerous mobsters and as a last resort they decide to make a porno film for some quick cash. Everything seems to go wrong from politicians who deem the film morally wrong to actors dropping from the picture. This is all done with real life adult actors and puppets of course.

Fans of the cult classic, trash-epic Blood Sucking Freaks will be happy to know that the great (Ralphus) Louis De Jesus shows up as Mr. Big for a blowjob scene. There will also be some more familiar faces from B.S.F. The beautiful Viju Krem who we all know and love so much as the blond, ballerina, bombshell Natasha Di Natalie shows up for a commerical break for some vagina deodorant. "Got skunk cunt?". Al Goldstein of Screw magazine also drops in for some funny dialogue and he comes complete with a crazy 70's wardrobe including a sweet 70's shirt with airplanes all over it. Director Gerard Damiano himself has quite a bit of screen time and makes a political speech against the bastards in charge who condemn this form of art but lets face it, we didn't come to this film for a deep social message. We came here to see puppets doing the dirty and dirty it is.

We get a foul mouthed puppet director who is into S&M, full frontal female nudity, a shitty musical segment, lots of filthy jokes and of course we get to see the puppets fucking and sucking. In the most disturbing scene we get to watch a puppet bestiality scene. A woman lets her doggy stick his red rocket where the sun don't shine. You have no choice but to laugh at the filth that spreads across the screen while women fuck animals and panty sniffing puppets get their rocks off.

Fuck the Muppets and let your puppets come with this filthy title from the sick and twisted 70's. Watch this one with a group of friends. It will be the life of the party.

You've Ruined Me Eddie (1960)

You've Ruined Me Eddie also known as The Touch Of Flesh, not to be mistaken for the Findlay's movie Touch Of Her Flesh is a pretty strange one. It plays like a cross between a 50's juvenile delinquent film and a teen scare film.

Actually if you really think about it You've Ruined Me Eddie is actually the opposite of a juvenile delinquent flick. The main character is actually a good, straight laced kid but he just gets all the tough breaks.

Eddie is an orphan with a really bad rep. His mother was a whore and nobody knows who Eddies father is. The kid doesn't even have a real last name. When he was just a child his prostitute mother was killed and Eddie was sent to a home for boys. Now he lives in a small shoe box for a room and pays the rent with the money he gets from his shitty job at the laundry shop. Eddie has himself a rich spoiled brat for a girlfriend named Joan Denton who's father had the town named after him. Eddie knocks Joan up and nice boy Eddie wants to get married and have the kid but Joan feels differently. She wants an abortion and what Joan wants Joan gets. Joan's father frames Eddie and has him arrested. Eddie gets the shit kicked out of him by the cops and nobody wants to help him until a lawyer happens to catch wind of what is happening in this town. Eddie breaks out of jail and Joan goes ape-shit crazy. She goes on a bit of a shooting rampage and it all comes together with a shocking and a bit disturbing ending.

You've Ruined Me Eddie is nice and short. It clocks in at around 70 minutes. However the cheap exploitation flick is not without flaw. It has its slow bits. The story is interesting but minimal. The soundtrack is lame and the characters are a bit one dimensional. Still I enjoyed this one for the most part. I like the fact that the bad guys are those with money and power. The police are scum, the rich are no better and the only characters who have any bit of a soul are the poor white trash, living on the hungry side of town.

This one serves as an okay time waster. It comes complete with murder, police brutality and babes dancing to bad stock music in their nighties.

Bonnie And Clyde (1967)

I will never forget the first time I saw this movie. I watched it with my father in my pre-teen years and I became some what obsessed with the two bank robbers. I think it scared my father a bit when he saw how much I loved these two iconic villains. I would rent the movie over and over again from the library and knew every line and every scene. All these years latter I still hold this film very close to my heart.

Looking back on it now it is no wonder this movie pulled me in the way it did. Clyde (Warren Beatty) is a bad-ass tough guy who doesn't follow any of the rules. He has a hot girl, hes good with a gun and nobody can catch him. Faye Dunnaway plays Bonnie and as a young kid I couldn't help but agree with Clyde that "She's a knock-out". In the opening scene we have the privilege of watching her walk around her room in the nude. It is the ultimate tease for the average 12 year old boy. The camera hits every angle to show off all of her finer points without actually showing any full frontal nudity. I can relate it best to Brigitte Bardot films like And God Created Woman. To say the least this scene was the ultimate tease for me when I was a kid and it is still very sexy today.

  
Together Bonnie And Clyde ride across country robbing banks, stealing cars and killing cops. three more baddies join them along the way and it becomes evident that Bonnie And Clyde will never make it out of this alive. The two lovers make an unspoken pact to stick together till the bloody end and leave a legacy behind them that the world could never forget. Sure the story is a bit romanticized but it just makes for a more memorable cinematic experience. I was actually lucky enough to a catch a screening of this thing in a art-house theater. I was surrounded by old-timers and they served wine and cheese. Myself and my mongoloid friends excluded were the only ones amongst the crowd that were not senior citizens. Of course we indulged in the wine but I couldn't help but think to myself what a shame it is that the youth of today are probably unaware of this classic film at large.

The 60's film is as timeless as the two criminal figures themselves. It has something in it for everybody. Its a perfect movie to watch with your best girl because of the romantic subplot that runs through out the film but it is also a great movie to watch with your friends. We get all the car stealing, bank robbing and violent shoot-outs that we deserve. It even has a bit of comedy to it. One scene in particular shows Bonnie And Clyde stealing Gene Wilder's car. "I'm gonna tear those punks apart". It is truly a funny moment and offers up some really funny quotes but don't laugh for to long because as we all know Bonnie And Clyde ends in great tragedy. The Nihilistic ending serves as a sample of things to come in the gritty 70's. For me Bonnie And Clyde is almost a blueprint for a style of film making that is to come from cinemas greatest decade. The sick and twisted, mean spirited 70's.

If you have not yet seen this movie you better ask your dad if you can borrow his library card. Its a must see.

Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid (1973)

All over the Internet I have read reviews from moronic ass-hats who like to bad mouth this movie. Apparently there is a heavily cut version of this movie which runs around 90 minutes and it just doesn't make any sense. The full 122 minute version on the other hand is brilliant and is one of the coolest westerns ever made.

Directed by the genius Sam (The Wild Bunch) Peckinpah (Straw Dogs, Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia), Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid is a stylish film on the classic tale of Billy The Kid and his old pal Pat Garrett. For those of you who came from under a rock and are not familiar with the story, Billy The Kid and Pat Garrett were two outlaws in the old west. The ran together and committed all kinds of terrible crimes together. They eventually parted ways and became sworn enemies until Pat Garrett finally put a bullet into Billy The Kid. A legend was killed and another was born. Hence the basis for Sam Peckinpah's film. Not only does the movie follow two of America's most infamous icons but it also portrays the dieing west in a way that I have never seen in any other film.

Even though Billy The Kid is a ruthless killer, the film portrays him as a man of principle who represents freedom. Billy refuses to except the new way. "You want to put a fence around my country?" He will fight the law and the establishment and is willing to be called an outlaw in order to keep his idea of freedom. Pat Garrett on the other hand has sold out to the man and was picked as the new sheriff in town. It just so happens that his first big job is to catch or kill Billy The Kid but if anybody knows Billy the way that Garrett knows Billy they would know that you can't take the kid alive. From here on it is a game of cat and mouse. Many get shot and killed during the game but the final showdown is between the two men who's name ate up the title.

Although the runtime may be a bit long on this one it never seems to get dull or boring. Metaphorically and literally Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid has much to gawk at. Sam Peckinpah also brings back some of that religious commentary that we all know and love so much from The Wild Bunch and in many senses also touches on that nihilistic tone of anarchy that made the previous film so famous. In my favorite scene Billy The Kid shoots a crazed Christian full of holes with a shotgun that was "Loaded with $1.60 in dimes". After he fills the religious psycho with American currency he tells the limp victim to keep the change. It is moments like this that make Sam Peckinpah a god amongst other directors. There is also some naked women on display, a orgy, lots of bloody shoot-em-up scenes, plenty of whisky drinking rough-necks, a very unique cast which includes Bob Dylan as Alias and some amazing quotes "You want a woman? I got one named Bertha. 'got a ass on her like a forty dollar cow 'n' a tit - I'd like to see that thing filled full o' tequila."

This one is more for lovers of spaghetti westerns. Its a bit to stylish and violent for the old timers who still dig John Wayne.

Girl From S.E.X. (1982)

The Girl From S.E.X. picks up where 007 left off... In bed! Or at least that's what the tagline says. The Girl From S.E.X. is a XXX hardcore spoof on the spy movie. It has enough strange happenings to make for an entertaining outing in the smut world but falls short due to an incoherent plot and a botched up editing job.

Lisa De Leeuw plays secret Agent 38 Double D. I wish I could tell you who our Double D breasted secret agent was looking for but the giant mess of a story is very hard to follow. I guess the only important thing to know here is that she is looking for the bad guys. Agent 38 has her own way of dealing with the bad guys. She bribes them with sex in order to get the information that she needs. While the story makes absolutely no sense at all we do get some random Kung Fu scenes thrown in between the sucking and fucking. Lisa De Leeuw does a little of her own Kung Fu and kicks some ass in a horribly executed scene. We also have some shoot-em-up nonsense and even some u.f.o. action but lets face it the movie is allowed to be horrible. Its all just an excuse for Lisa De Leeuw to ride a double headed dildo, eat some vagina, fuck sleazy dudes and show off her gigantic boobs.

I personally have never been a fan of Miss De Leeuw so I wasn't very entertained by the sex scenes either. I would say skip this one all together. That is unless of course you have some weird fascination with secret agent porno movies and even if that be the case I am sure you can do a lot better then this. The only scene worth mentioning shows our titular spy being tortured with a giant fuck machine but she quickly becomes a pain in the ass when she turns the tables on the bad guy.

Ten To Midnight (1983)

Aside from Death Wish, 10 To Midnight is probably my favorite Charles Bronson movie. Based off of the real life serial killings of Richard Speck, 10 To Midnight blends a detective movie with the 80's slasher genre in a very sleazy way.

J. Lee Thompson is the director on this one. He was responsible for a bunch of Charlie Bronson flicks such as Kinjite : Forbidden Subjects, Messenger Of Death, The Evil That Men Do and many more but the slasher film is nothing new to this guy, he also delivered the goods in Happy Birthday To Me. Throw in a naked murderer who was is based off of a real life mass murderer and we are in for one hell of a trashy ride, filled with sex and violence.

Charles Bronson plays Leo Kessler a senior cop who is hot on the trail of a brutal serial killer. Leo is taking this case a little closer to heart due to the fact that one of the killings strikes pretty close to home with the victim being a close friend of his own daughter. Andrew Stevens who I remember best as David's friend in Massacre At Central High partners up with Bronson to help bring down the killer. We have a pretty basic plot here but there are elements within the movie that make it completely different and unforgettable. First off the killer does all of his slashing completely nude. Of course this helps reduce the odds of him ever being caught but it almost seems to be something more. Something more sinister. A sick and twisted fetish almost. "Anybody who could do a thing like that would have to impotent. He uses his knife as his penis".

Aside from the fact that we have a naked madman running around and slashing up young girls there is also plenty of bare breasted ladies to look at. Its safe to say that 10 To Midnight is an outing in trash cinema that can be enjoyed by both sexes. We also have a bunch of memorable moments and quotes from Charlie Bronson. In one of the most memorable scenes Bronson finds the killers masturbater. "You know what this is Warren? Its for wacking off!" Hearing Bronson deliver this line while shaking a male jack-off tool is priceless and makes the movie worth owning for the scene alone. "When is the last time you made it with a girl Warren? You never made it with a girl!... But you get back at them, don't you?"

Do you remember the hot black chick from the beginning of kiddie-toucher Michael Jackson's Thriller? Well if you ever wondered what she went on to do, the answer is within 10 To Midnight. Ola Ray shows up as a nurse who has a pretty lengthy shower scene (complete with tits, ass & bush) and meets her end by our naked psycho. This takes place during the films highest note and for those familiar with the real life case of Richard Speck and the house full of nurses that he killed, it is all reenacted here. One by one the nurses are hacked into and cut to ribbons by the killers trusty butterfly knife and to make things more interesting Bronson's daughter is amongst the victims. You know this is going to end badly for our naked sicko.

As for anyone who is a fan of this movie, I highly recommend checking out the German 70's flick The Naked Massacre which is also based off of the Richard Speck massacre. The two films would go perfectly as a double feature in the name of filth. For a good time with Bronson, a pocket pussy, bare breasts, violent stabbings and naked man-ass call upon 10 To Midnight.

Rear Window (1954)

Ever sit home with nothing better to do then stare out the window? Well when ever I feel this way I like to sit home and watch James Stewart stare out his window in what is probably my favorite Alfred Hitchcock movie.

James Stewart (Vertigo, Rope) plays a magazine photographer who broke his leg on the job. Now he sits home in his cast and watches his neighbors fight, make love and bicker from his Rear Window. The things he sees from his apartment is probably better then anything that is playing in the movie theater unless of course if the newest Hitchcock film is out. Things get really crazy when Mr. Stewart starts piecing together a murder from his very own apartment. The beautiful Grace Kelly is Jimmy Stewart's best girl and it is not long before she is pulled into the mystery. "We must be two of the most horrible ghouls I have ever seen".

This movie really has a little bit of everything in it. Its got the romantic stuff between our two stars, suspense, drama, an excellent story, great acting, great camera work, mystery, bikini clad blond babes and of course it also dishes out a fair amount of the expected Alfred Hitchcock dark comedy. I personally relate this one best to Rope. Not so much in the plot department but more so how it was executed. Hitchcock has a way of taking a very simple premise and making it the most interesting thing you will ever see. Rope takes place almost entirely in one room and in that one room there is a world of interest. The Rear Window is very similar although there are many more exterior shots in this one. Still the idea is simple. A man looks out a window. A man sees something. Then the man reacts. This is basically done over and over again for 112 minutes but every single second of it is brilliant not to mention very interesting.

The Rear Window is one of those movies that never gets old. Just as James Stewart can never get enough of watching his neighbors I can never get bored of the movie. I first saw this one as a young kid with my parents and it blew my mind. All these years later I was taken back to that first experience when I was recently lucky enough to catch this thing in the theater. Seeing it on the big screen was everything I expected it would be. The detail, the cinematography, the Technicolor. It was all there. The Rear Window is a must see for anybody who digs Psycho or The Birds. It is one of the many faces of Hitchcock and in my opinion it is one of the best.