The Deadly Organ (1967)

This slice of Argentinian sleaze comes from director Emilio Vieyra, the same cat who would go on to do the insane The Curious Doctor Humpp and the English dialogue was written by Jack Curtis who I remember best as the director of the awesome 60's monster-rama gore flick The Flesh Eaters but unfortunately The Deadly Organ doesn't quite compete with either of the films just mentioned.

Fans of the superior The Curious Doctor Humpp should understand what I mean when I say the The Deadly Organ is weird, sleazy and interesting but a bit slow moving and confusing. The Deadly Organ is actually extremely slow paced. The only thing that saves the film from putting its audience into a drooling coma is just how strange it is. Of course the good looking Spanish women and the gratuitous nudity helps out a lot but for me the main interest in the film is within the subtext of the plot.

The Deadly Organ is probably known better as Feast Of Flesh by most due to the fact that this is the title it screened under in the United States. It ran on a double bill with the awesome sex & violence filled monster epic from Mexico Night Of The Bloody Apes and the two films would be released through Something Weird Video on a double feature dvd. The Deadly Organ is clearly the duller of the two but as I mentioned the story is strange enough that it works.

Although at times The Deadly Organ may seem like a monster movie it absolutely is not. Its more of an early slasher film then anything else. We have a masked villain that is terrorizing the women of a small town but our killer is not just content with slashing up young women. He lures them in with an entrancing tune from his Deadly Organ. The music gives the film a dream like vibe and is repetitive but pretty cool at the same time. Then the masked killer hooks his victims on heroin and with the help of the entrancing music the females become completely obsessed with him as if he were a drug himself. Then of course he kills them. His weapon of choice is in fact a giant syringe which he plunges deep into his victims chests and leaves them over dosed, cold and dead. Of course he changes it up from time to time and we do get some strangulation and knife-fu but it is usually a giant needle that is found buried in the chest of a corpse.

Now if that's not a cool and twisted plot, I don't know what is. It is never really spelled out but The Deadly Organ almost plays like a warped anti drug horror movie, similar to something like Blood Freak or Frank Henenlotter's Brain Damage. Some would probably say that I am over analyzing this cheep exploitation flick a little to much but there is definitely some kind of social message wrapped up inside this bizarre stalk and kill flick.

The majority of the characters are supposed to be part of the younger generation, the hip generation. They run around naked, listen to "weird music", drive fast cars, have sex with anyone they please and use drugs. The older generation fears for the future and the main characters who represent the older folk are two police/detectives. These guys can't seem to get it right. They can not find the killer any quicker then they can understand the youth. They always seem to a be a bit to late and even when they have a full proof plan some how it falls to shit.

The Deadly Organ is kinda like a drug. You can be wide awake but once you fix yourself you drift in and out of consciousness. If you nod out, you will be pulled out of your dreamlike state for another dose of murder and weird bloodletting. This is not recommended for most. Only hardcore exploitation enthusists will be awake by the films final reel.

Womens Prison Massacre (1983)

To all those horror-snobs out there who like to bad-mouth Bruno Mattei, I have just one thing to say... Women's Prison Massacre! The director has plenty of entertaining titles to his name but this one probably takes the cake and is amongst the best in the (W.I.P.) Women In Prison genre.

Women's Prison Massacre also known as Emanuelle In Prison, a.k.a. A Bunch Of Bastards, a.k.a. Blade Violent, a.k.a. Emanuelle Escapes From Hell and various other titles from different countries stars Laura Gemser yet again in another Black Emanuelle role. This time stuck in a hell hole for female inmates. Lorraine De Selle who I remember best as Gloria in both Cannibal Ferox and House On The Edge Of The Park plays the wicked warden. You pretty much get exactly what you would expect from the character minus the lesbian stuff. Still she offers up the typical scenes of unjust punishment and savagery which is mainly taken out on Emanuelle.

Women's Prison Massacre offers up the necessary full frontal female nudity and all the depravity that comes along with these W.I.P. movies. Shower scenes, masturbation, lesbianism and just plain dancing in the buff is all here for the viewing pleasure of the average degenerate. However things get really good when a ruthless band of  male cop-killers arrive at the women's prison. You guessed it, we are going to have a massacre on our hands. These guys are pretty tough dudes. They are all sentenced to death for multiple rape charges, murder and as I mentioned killing police officers. The leader of the criminal gang goes by the name of Crazy Boy and he has the biggest body count to his name. Crazy Boy done killed himself 17 cops and the numbers will increase before the credits role. However the best member in this gang of slackers is Blade. Blade is one sick mother fucker. This cat enjoys cutting girls up with razor blades which obviously helped him achieve his cheesy nick name.

For me the main thing that separates Women's Prison Massacre from other W.I.P. flicks is how much fun they make the male criminals seem. These guys are as bad as they get but for some reason you can't help but be on their side. They pretty much rape all of the inmates and take the guards and the warden hostage along with some cops and they kill them at will. As the tagline on the poster says "The killing never stops..." This movie has such a huge body count to it and it is so fast paced that the ending almost lets you down. This is the perfect party movie. It is sure to liven up any group with its 90 minutes of sex and violence.

Bruno Mattei maybe known by most as a hack-job who will rip any movie off without any shame. Well I enjoy him for this reason. Sure he has shit out quite a bit of garbage in his day but it is movies like this that make Mattei a household name at movies from mars.

Fans of this movie should also check out some of Mattei's early Nazisploitation flicks like Women's Camp 119 and SS Girls both of which are good exploitative fun in bad taste and for those who have not yet seen Women's Prison Massacre get ready for knife fights, car chases, brutal shoot outs, face slashing, throat slicing, Russian roulette (complete with flying brain matter), some very nasty penis mutilation and memorable quotes such as "I will bite your nipples off". In other words its a god amongst Italian exploitation films.

Diabolique (1955)

The very end of Diabolique ends with this quotation "Don't be diobalical yourself and reveal the end of this movie to your friends" well I am about to do just that, so if you have not seen this movie you would probably want to just skip over this one blog post because this is nothing more then one big spoiler.

Diabolique is brilliant in every sense of the word. Alfred Hitchcock himself wanted to direct this movie but was beat to the punch. It is hard to watch Diabolique and not think Hitchcock and fans of his films have no choice but to like this movie.

It tells of two female school teachers who are sick of the abusive man in their life. One of the women is married to him and the other is simply his "mistress". Either way the two women bond in their misery and decide to kill the man that is to blame for their pain and when I say pain I mean both physical and emotional.

They plot out an elaborate yet brilliant murder. First they drug him. He falls into a deep deep sleep. Next they drag him over to the bath tub and drown him. Then they dump his body in a murky swimming pool and just wait for the body to be discovered. There is more to the plan but this is the general idea.

Well time goes by and the corpse is never found. This sends both of the murderers into a state of maddening anxiety. It seems very probable that one of the two murderers will die of heart failure or something of the sort and the movie executes all of these emotions perfectly.

The movie becomes more and more mysterious when the body never shows up. It is truely creepy when the suit that they killed him in shows up at the school. Children claim to have seen him and even the pool is eventually drained and the body is still missing in action.

Well if you have seen as many horror movies as I have, you would know that this movie has probably been ripped off more then any other in history. Countless films have used the same plot for many different genres. Ghost flicks, sexploitation movies, gore films and many many more. Of course any movie that has been copied so many times deserves credit where it is due, the only problem is that film fanatics are more likely to watch the many remakes and ripoffs before seeing the original and it of course suffers from this.

Out of all the films to steal Diabolique's plot line I suppose my favorite is probably The Night Evelyn Came Out Of The Grave. It is the tale of two women who commit the perfect crime but then the corpse seems to come back to haunt them. In the case of Diabolique the murder plot was even more elaborate then it appeared to be. The mistress and the abusive husband were in it together from the begining. The mistress only pretended to drown the man and when they dump the body in the pool, he is still alive. Together the mistress and the walking corpse terrorize the abused wife in hopes to scare her to death so that they can be together and share her wealth. It all comes together with twists and turns and makes for a genius story. It just amazes me how many times it was ripped off but then again I suppose if you make a masterpiece like Diabolique it is bound to be copied.

See where it all started and don't be like me." Don't be diabolical yourself and tell your friends the ending of this movie."

Night Of The Bloody Apes (1969)

Ever wonder what it would be like if somebody crossed a Herschell Gordon Lewis film with a Mexican wrestling Lucha Libre film? Well your answer is right here. Night Of The Bloody Apes is all of the above.

The director of this thing was responsible for a few Santo and friends Lucha Libre films so it is no wonder that masked wrestling women made their way into this pre 70's gore epic. Anybody who made it through Rock 'N' Roll Wrestling Women Vs. The Aztec Mummy without falling asleep and actually liked it needs to check this ultra campy flick out. The movie starts off with Lucy a masked female wrestler kicking the shit out of her opponent in the ring. When Lucy tosses the rival wrestler over the ropes and out of the ring her opponent goes into a coma with a fractured achy-breaky skull. This makes Lucy contmeplate quiting wrestling and find another profession but you can take the ring from the girl but you can not keep the girl outta the ring. When this chick gets stood up by her cop boyfriend she goes back to knock a few more screws loose. Of course all of the wrestling stuff is good fun but it is only a taste of things to come. After all this is a gore flick.

While all of this masked female wrestling shit is going on a surgeon is performing new experiments on his dying son. The doctor refuses to let his son go and comes up with the brilliant idea to perform a heart transplant with that of a giant gorilla. The theory is that since a gorilla is so strong its heart must also be strong and if such a giant heart is placed into the body of a normal sized human being that it would help the person regain a healthy immune system and fight off disease. Sound logical? Of course not but that is what Night Of The Bloody Apes has to offer in all of its genius. The surgeon heads down to the local zoo and shoots a gorila up with tranquilizers. He preforms the surgery and the results are a bit different then the doctor expects. His son turns into "A half man, half beast" and grows in size. What we really get is a muscle head running around with a crazy looking gorilla mask and raping young, hot, Mexi-girls. I personally think this thing should have been called Night Of The Ape Rape but I suppose the whole "Bloody" thing is also fitting since there is lots of bloodletting to come.

The surgery scenes were all cut in later for a little extra kick. The real surgery footage is bound to make some of the softer folk out there squirm but it is a nice added touch and a gore hounds delight.

As I mentioned the mad scientist creates one hell of a horny, rape-happy monkey. The Bloody Ape roams about at night and stalks bathing beauties. The girls in this movie pretty much bare it all with the exception of pubic hair and most of them are actually pretty nice to look at. That is at least until the ape-man gets his hands on them. Not only does the Bloody Ape tear away any clothing that his next female victim might be wearing but he also enjoys tearing at their flesh.

However the beast doesn't limit his victims to strictly women. If a poor unfortunate man happens to step in his way the ape-man will certainly eliminate him in a gory way. Eyeballs are popped out from their heads, teeth are ripped out, throats a clawed at and guts are pulled from stomachs. It all sounds pretty disgusting and in a way it is but Night Of The Bloody Apes has this sort of charm to it that is only really known to Herschell Gordon Lewis freaks. It is all done in good sleazy fun and it is pretty damn hard to take a movie like this very seriously. The imagery is brutal, gooey and some what depraved but for me there is almost a goofy innocence to these movies. Sure they are bound to insult up-tight assholes, sure they are pure trash but a ridiculous mad scientist monster-ramma flick crossed with female wrestlers and tons of red gore still comes off light hearted compared to some of the much more serious stuff that would follow in the next few years. Stuff like I Spit On Your Grave or even Last House On The Left all comes off much more realistically darker.

Night Of The Bloody Apes is a perfect Mexi-melt of 50's monster movies, 60's Sexploitation and the darker decade which will follow. It is also a perfect flick to round up a few beers and a few friends and prove to your chums how demented you actually are and I think our mad scientist said it best when he delivers the ridiculous line "It's more probable that of late more and more you're watching in your television many of those pictures of terror."
Fans of this movie would also probably like Doctor Butcher M.D. (Medical Deviate) an Italian exploitation film which blends multiple trash film genres into one big gory bowl of pasta.

Furburgers (Home Of The Box Lunch) (1987)

Most horror-hounds would remember Fred Lincoln as Weasel Podowski from Last House On The Left but fans of pornographic cinema from the golden age might remember him a bit differently. Fred (Weasel) Lincoln stared in his first porno somewhere around 1971 and would go on to do some greats such as The Defiance Of Good, which is one of my personal all time favorite porno flicks. Fred Lincoln would also direct over 300 porno films. Amongst those movies is Furburgers.

Aside from being directed by the great Weasel, Fred Lincoln, Furburgers stars another horror/porn cult icon. Sharon Mitchell (Maniac (1980), Water Power) shows off her Furburger in this one along with Taija Rae (Candy Stripers part 2). As far as the men go we got Eric Edwards as Mr. Fur, Paul Thomas as a dork with a speech impediment who gets laid way to much and Herschell Savage (Kissin Cousins) shows up as the minute man in a very quick sex scene. You would think with over 800 titles to his name he would hold out a bit longer then 5 minutes but this is not the case in Furburgers. Herschell shoots his Savage load within minutes flat. Good going, ya meat head!

Furburgers is actually a really fun movie. It was shot in the late 80's so it is pretty damn goofy but the bad acting, ridiculous plot and dumb-ass characters make this fuck-flick a funny watch. I found myself laughing through most of the movie. If you can get past the gigantic, teased out 80's hair, you might even find yourself going back to watch this movie again and if you're just a pervert the sex scenes are half way decent as well.

Eric Edwards plays Mr. Fur, the owner of a shitty restaurant that specializes in Mamma's home cooking. All of Mrs. Fur's recipes can be found on the menu and most people that come in will never come back for a second go. In the same parking lot is "The Burger Ramma" which is run by Paul Thomas. The Burger Ramma is a typical American fast food joint but they have one unique thing going for them and this is a bunch of hot scantily clad waitresses. The rules of the house is no bras and that is about it. The girls at The Burger Ramma are getting a bit tired of slobbing Paul Thomas knob every five seconds and being groped by his balding daddy so they decide to go next door and work for Mr. Fur. The girls convince Mr. Fur to change the name of the restaurant to Furburgers and they come up with the stupid slogan of "Home Of The Box Lunch" and the place becomes an instant hit and puts The Burger Ramma under. Oh and it isn't the food at Furburgers that attracts so much business, it is the dessert. The desert is of course the Furburger of the waitress that serves you, so basically they turn Mr. Furs restaurant into a whore house. Shit, I hope he is paying these girls well.

As dumb as the plot is Furburgers is a pretty cool movie. It comes complete with lesbianism, giant 80's hair, plenty of funny moments and a great soundtrack. The theme song for Furburgers has to be heard to be believed. "Furburgers, We know you can't eat just one"

She Mob (1968)

Hold on to your balls guys, this is a weird one. The infamous She Mob, the movie with no director, the movie that rants about castration, the movie that gives you Big Shim. Here it is.

Tony is a male gigolo who has some pretty rich clientele. His number one customer is a rich bitch who buys him cars and anything else he wants as long as he is willing to wake up from a hang over to her awful cackling and still preform the ole in-out, in-out on her in the marble bathtub. She isn't much to look at and this is just a taste of things to come because most of the women in this movie are pretty damn ugly. Still they bare it all and leave behind a legacy of filth and debauchery in the world of Sexploitation films. Tony the gigolo gets a call from an old friend, Big Shim. Tony is needed to turn a trick on a group of young women who have not seen a man in a long time. Little does Tony know that it is all a set up and he is in for a world of shit.

Big Shim is the leader of an all girl gang. She comes complete with a spiked leather bra and leather chaps. When I said spiked I meant it. This leather bra can pierce through flesh and kill a man. "I have some killer tits". Big Shim is about as ugly as can be. This bull dyke has a captive lesbo sex-toy names Baby and now Tony the Gigolo is the new prisoner in Big Shim's house of psychotic women. Upon Tony's arrival he is greeted by the naked bitches of the house, all of whom Big Shim just broke out of jail. Needless to say these sluts are ready to treat Tony like the piece of meat that he is but Big Shim has bigger plans for him. She ties him to the bed and writes a ransom note for ten thousand dollars to Tony's rich-bitch girlfriend. "Unless you want to see your boyfriend looking more like a choir boy" send your money. Next we get a bunch of gratuitous nudity and random sexcapades which are all dished out in bad taste. One of the criminal babes goes by the name of Twig. She has a voice that could break a chalk board and she enjoys go-go dancing, topless of course. Then we have a couple of average looking blonds and a brunette who wears some pretty cool 50's style sun glasses and fishnet stockings.

Tony's rich-bitch girlfriend can't afford to lose Tony to gang of ruthless bull dykes so she calls on a female private dick named Sweety East who is clearly the best looking babe in the whole movie. She looks like she stepped out of something like Russ Myers Faster Pussy Cat. Kill! Kill! and she drives a fast sports car and knows kung fu to boot. It is up to this titular detective vixen to save Tony from the grips of the evil Big Shim and her clan of killer lesbians. Sweety East has this shiny get up that shows off her finer aspects. It is exceptionally low cut in the back and her ass crack and cleavage is a blazzin the whole time. I would assume the outfit is gold but this 60's Roughie is shot in glorious black and white as is expected and very much necessary.

Tony takes quite a beating while he is being held captive. Baby gets shot in the face with a shotgun (complete with black and white gore) and Big Shim does impale someone with her "killer tits". We get female masturbation scenes, Gratuitous sex, car chases (complete with crash and burn explosions), ridiculous 60's kung fu, bondage scenes, whipping scenes with more blood and perhaps the most bizarre cigarette holder I have ever seen. It is a electronic mule. You press a button and a cigarette pops out of the mules ass. Where can I find one of these things? I can not live without it.

Luckily for me I don't have to live without She Mob. Something Weird Video delivers this thing on a double feature disc with Nymphs Anonymous and is a must own for the average depraved mongoloid who finds pleasure in this form of cinematic smut. A brilliant piece of trash!

And God Created Woman (1956)

Writer/director Roger Vadim knows how to make a sexy movie. After all he would go on to do the Jane Fonda sexy sci-fi epic Barbarella and come back to Brigitte Bardot again and again until he made the French sex kitten his wife.

And God Created Woman is Roger Vadim's first feature film and it is also the movie that made Brigitte Bardot the sex symbol that she is. It is a theme that most Bardot films would follow. Every guy wants the girl but the girl only wants one guy and can not have him but there is much more to this cult classic.

Brigitte plays Juliete a beautiful young orphan who has no place in society. She has a reputation for being a "whore" but this is mainly due to her attitude and appearance. Juliete is more of a tease then anything. She enjoys sun bathing in the nude and walking around with her blouse unbuttoned and the male audience enjoys it as well. Most of the men in town think of her to be nothing more then a sex object and of course there are one or two who claim they love her but it is a heartless scum-bag named Antoine that Juliete is head over heels for. As she explains "I don't love him. I hate him! It is a disease... I can't be happy with him around".

And God Created Woman almost has a feminist touch to it. Juliete is thought to be a slut but it is her lack of up bringing, morals, judgement and even class that makes her come off this way. She is a bit of a bitch. She will break a mans weak little heart in two and not even look back. She sits with her legs spread and her panties will be exposed to the world. Men drool and women are jealous. This is pretty racy stuff for a 50's film and it is no wonder that Brigitte Bardot has become such an iconic symbol of sex. Back to the story, things get really bad for Juliete when she is threatened to be sent back to the orphanage until she is 21. Antoine's brother asks Juliete to marry him and she does it to save her own ass from the prison they call the orphanage. From here on And God Created Woman becomes a pretty depressing drama. Juliete is miserable and the men around her will destroy one another for a piece of the blond bomb shell. It becomes evident that this film will end in tragedy.

And God Created Woman offers up plenty of Brigitte Bardot tease-o-ramma stuff. We have scenes where she lay totally nude. The camera angles show off Bardot's stuff without really letting us see to much in strip tease scenes that are almost unbareable for a man to watch without gasping. Her skirt always seems to be revealing her underwear which gives the film a voyeuristic sense to it and of course we get the infamous dance sequence where Bardot rips the buttons on her skirt off and does the cha cha cha half exposed to the world.

Fans of Raquel Welch's One Million Years B.C. should check Bardot out in the beach scene where she is nearly drowned and rescued by a man. Her soaking wet body is exposed through her see through dress and it is all followed by a sex scene.

I normally am not the type to watch romance dramas. Sexploitation and Splatter Films are more my speed but I have this life long obsession with Briggite Bardot. She makes it possible for me to watch any movie and in the end I always enjoy them. Brigitte Bardot has a way of making a guy feel like a school boy living in a fantasy land. It is easy to fall in love with her in every role she plays, even the really nasty ones like Contempt. And God Created Woman is no exception to the rule. As a man you can almost place yourself in the shoes of the idiotic males in the movie. Would I kill my brother for a chance with Brigitte Bardot? Maybe so...

And God Created Woman is one of the best films from the queen of sex appeal. A must see for anyone who has ever drooled over Miss Bardot.

Assassination (1987)

This movie is awful. Everything about it is awful. From the title to the story. From the action (if you can call it that, to the {PG-13} rating. It just sucks!

Even the posters for this movie sucks. Charles Bronson works for the secret service. Jill Ireland is the presidents wife. She is also a total cunt and all I wanted through out this movie was to see her dead. Possibly the best moment in the movie shows Charlie Bronson accidentally kneeing Jill Ireland in the eye. Yes it was only an accident but I got great gratitude from this very short moment in the film and this was the only thing I enjoyed at all.

I would rather knee myself in the eye repeatedly then watch Charles Bronson ride across country trying to protect this twat from terrorists. We see Bronson drive around on motorcycles, boats and dune buggies. We see explosions and shoot outs. None of which is very entertaining. Oh wait there was two other things that deserves note in Assassination. Charles Bronson has an Asian girlfriend. Good going Bronson. Thanks to the rating she doesn't get naked. There is also a crazy guy that drives around in Indian war paint named Indian Joe.

If you are one of those Charles Bronson obsessed freaks, you should still stay far away from this movie. There are plenty of other bad Bronson flicks that are more worthy of a rewatch then this piece of shit. Watch Cold Sweat again or even The Mechanic. Anything but Assassination.

Yojimbo (1961)

Akira Kurosawa (Throne Of Blood, Seven Samurai) writes and directs this classic Samurai masterpiece. Do you like Spaghettie Westerns? How about A Fist Full Of Dollars or Django? All of which were heavily influenced by Yojimbo.

The Spag Western genre is just the start of films that would pay homage, ripoff or just plain remake this visual tale of the lone Samurai. Lucio Fulci would mimic the opening scene in the beginning of his 1982 Gialo The New York Ripper, which shows a dog running towards the camera with a severed human hand in its mouth and much more recently Takashi Miike (Audition, Fudoh) would do his own version of Yojimbo with Sukiyaki Western Django. So many film makers, mainstream and cult icons alike all owe a debt to the genius Akira Kurosawa.

The film follows a Samurai who I like to refer to as "the man with no name" who enters a desperate town which has been split in half with two big gangs controlling each side. The few towns folk who are not in the gangs have it worse then anybody. This would be the merchants, the brewers, the cooks etc. In a town with no law and nobody to protect them against the gangs these people are pretty much doomed. Now along comes this man with no name, carrying a sword. Will he save the people from this town which is about to self destruct or will he just help speed up the process of elimination. The answer is a little bit of both. The truth is that this lone Samurai only has his best interest in mind. He is an assassin. He gets payed to kill mother fuckers and he doesn't care who he kills. He will join the side with the most money and kill all of their rivals.

Our assassin proves himself by cutting down some loud-mouth punks in the streets. Arms go-a-flying and dudes are sliced to ribbons. Now everybody in the town wants this man on their side. He plays the rival gangs against each other like pawns in a game of chess. It seems like this town is coming closer to its end then ever and eventually something happens to make our Samurai decide to not work for either side. This means it will be hundreds against one. Pretty bad-ass huh? To make things even more interesting one of the gang members acquires a gun and in these times of fists and swords a gun is a pretty big deal. It may not be a Django style Gatling gun but it is still a gun.

To top it all of this bloody tale of violence has a dark, very dark sense of comedy that runs through out. You can't help but laugh at some of the characters and situations that come up. It is the humor and the violence that make Yojimbo such a memorable experience but there is also a brilliant simplicity to it all. A simplicity that I can only relate best to Alfred Hitchcock and movies like The Rear Window. There is a simple repetitiveness that holds the films pace together and while many directors and writers have undoubtedly been influenced by Akiria Kurosawa I am pretty sure it is safe to say that Kurosawa was influenced by Hitchcock. "You're a good guy, aren't you?"

Death Wish 3 (1985)

If you look at the Death Wish series and then look at the Rambo movies, you might notice an interesting pattern. The original Death Wish put Charles Bronson forever in our hearts as the revenge guy. The oh so necessary follow up Death Wish 2 comes along in 1982 which is the same year that the first Rambo movie came out. Now I am sure that First Blood just blew Death Wish 2 away in the box office and Charlie Bronson did not relive his day in the sun. Jump forward to 1985 and Death Wish 3 is being wrapped up and ready to hit screens. Guess what else is getting ready to hit theaters... If you guessed Rambo 2, you would have guessed right. Now my guess is that the Death Wish boys were not about to give up the fight so easily and lose to Rambo again, so instead of doing another 70's style rape/revenge flick they chose to do an all out shoot-em-up action flick.

Well that is pretty much what we get here and the vengeful Paul Kersey is back in New York to kill the scum that pollutes the city streets. This time Charles (Paul Kersey) Bronson is working for the pigs. The East New York police are corrupt and not much better then the punks that terrorize the streets but Kersey doesn't have much choice. He will either rot in jail for a murder he did not commit or kill the bastards who actually did it. For those who are familiar with the series, the street-scum that Kersey goes to war with in part 2 are pretty outlandish and unforgettable. Well the new gang of punks are more ridiculous then ever and have grown in numbers.

These comic bookish bad guys all come complete with silly face paint and are completely decked out from head to toe in leather. These leather clad bad boys are lead by a Irish goon named Fraker who comes complete with a deep transvestite type voice, an inverted Mohawk and fully automatic weapons. Well it looks like the body count is going to be pretty fucking high in this one huh? Paul Kersey kills everything that jingles when it moves including a stereotypical punksploitation cackling bad guy named "The Giggler". Once the Giggler's brains are splattered across the city side walks Fraker and his gang call in other local gangs to help take out the one man army that is Charles Bronson. Naturally Bronson is going to need a little help of his own so he brings out the heavy artillery which comes in the form of a rocket launcher and a Gatling gun.

To say the least Death Wish 3 is an over exaggerated and over the top version of the classic 70's revenge flick. It is ridiculously mind numbing and you are bound to come out of it short of a few brain cells. Then there is the really cheesy score which Jimmy Page can take the credit for. Despite the huge body count and the giant explosions Death Wish 3 is really a lot softer then the first two films. That nasty 70's vibe is gone and replaced with big shoot outs and typical 80's action type stuff. There is even a rape scene that manages to come off extremely tame compared to the first two films.

Still if you can look past this, Death Wish 3 can be a good time waster. It is fun, it is moronic and it is of course Charles Bronson. This one goes perfect with some beers and some friends who are equally retarded and can enjoy this form of mayhem for mental midgets. Perhaps the funniest thing about Death Wish 3 is that is supposed to take place in East New York but is clearly the suburbs. We also have a ridiculous scene where Kersey shoves a fat skinheads head between prison bars, leaving him stuck and fucked or high and dry if you are more of the sensitive, politically correct type. Is that even possible? This one will raise many of dumb questions.

Check it out for Bronson gun-fu and dead punkers!