The director, William Castle (The king of gimmick). The film, Homicidal (Alfred Hitchcock Psycho ripoff). The gimmick, the fright break. The outcome, pure entertainment.
William Castle cashes in on the success of Hitchcock's Psycho which came out one year prior. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Hitchcock and Castle are in two very different ranking positions so Castle does what he does best and puts on one hell of a show. Cards were handed out with the purchase of ticket that allows the movie-goer to get a full refund at the cowards corner providing they leave the theater before the films climax during the "fright break". The "fright break" interrupts the film right before the final reel with a clock that counts down 60 seconds. Naturally nobody would leave before the end of the movie and be seen in the cowards corner by their friends so Castle makes out yet again with another brilliant gimmick.
Aside from the fright break Homicidal is pretty graphic for its time and definitely surpasses Psycho as far as the blood goes. In one scene a man is stabbed repeatedly in the gut with a big kitchen knife, leaving a bloody mess for all us gore hounds to stare at. We also get a decapitation which is not much by today's standards but in 1961 definitely turned a few stomachs.
Homicidal is a bit on the slow side but is all worth the wait in the end. Castle doesn't disappoint this time around with a twist ending that was totally original for its time. I won't give the climactic twist away because William Castle warned during promotion "Do not give the ending away to Homicidal. If you do your friends will kill you and if they don't I will!"
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Freaks (1932)
Anybody who is interested in exploitation movies should be familiar with this timeless cult classic and anybody who is interested in seeing these types of films might as well get their start here. After all Freaks is kind of the grandaddy of exploitation films.
Director Tod Browning who is remembered by most for Dracula with Bela Lagosi which was released one year prior to Freaks, is the man responsible for Freaks. He was introduced to the script from Harry Earls (A dwarf) who played besides Lon Chaney as a mobster who posses as a baby in Brownings The Unholy Three. Browning naturally being drawn to carnival life, freak-shows and physical human abnormalities excepted the job and set out to make one of the most important cult films of all time.
An earlier Tod Browning/Lon Chaney calibration dealt with carnival folk, love and murder. The film of course being Alanzo The Armless also known as The Unknown which was praised by some and appalled others but the main difference was that Browning was in his comfort zone of the silent era. The director was not a fan of the brand new talkies and would have preferred even Dracula to have been a silent film but this was no longer an option for a Hollywood director. The talking pictures have arrived and so will Freaks.
The outcome was a masterpiece in the macabre. Naturally it was hated. The world wasn't quite ready for this brand of exploitative cinema and the movie was banned for three decades, not seeing the light of day till the 60's with the hip generation & art-house Beatniks looking for new (or old) kicks in a cinematic light.
Freaks tells the tale of a dwarf named Hans who is manipulated into marrying a big women. Hans becomes the laughing stock to the entire circus and worse yet he is being poisoned little by little by his greedy wife who wants to get her hands on the little mans fortune. Hans eventually catches on and with the help of the other Freaks he gets his revenge on his wife and her secret lover Hercules. (They call him Hercules because he is "The Strong Man" of the circus). Aside from dwarfs, Freaks makes a spectacle of Pinheads, human skeletons, Siamese twins, hermaphrodites, retards, a man with no lower half of his body (known as the Torso), and a man with no limbs known as the human worm.
The movie was blamed for being cruel and condemned by its reviews. Aren't horror movies supposed to be cruel? Looking back at how unfairly Freaks was treated its amazing to see how backwards we have always been as a society. Its almost as if the people were angry that the Freaks were not made out to be the bad guys. Sure they kill a couple of people but they kill very bad people. On the other hand America was perfectly fine with Dracula seducing and killing innocent women.
Freaks which runs at 61 minutes was cut down to as much as a 30 minute version before it became banned. Tod Browning originally intended for a much more violent film. For me Freaks is perfect just the way it is but it would have been nice to see it the way Browning wanted it to be seen. Unfortunately Freaks is the film to blame for putting the genius director on the unemployment line. He would direct one or two more films but nobody would give him a break. After all he was the man who offended everybody with his tale of humanity and sympathy.
Anybody who has ever seen Freaks remembers Freaks. Its not the kind of movie that can be forgotten or ignored. If extreme cinema is your thing, be sure to give this one a watch. You wont regret or forget!
Director Tod Browning who is remembered by most for Dracula with Bela Lagosi which was released one year prior to Freaks, is the man responsible for Freaks. He was introduced to the script from Harry Earls (A dwarf) who played besides Lon Chaney as a mobster who posses as a baby in Brownings The Unholy Three. Browning naturally being drawn to carnival life, freak-shows and physical human abnormalities excepted the job and set out to make one of the most important cult films of all time.
An earlier Tod Browning/Lon Chaney calibration dealt with carnival folk, love and murder. The film of course being Alanzo The Armless also known as The Unknown which was praised by some and appalled others but the main difference was that Browning was in his comfort zone of the silent era. The director was not a fan of the brand new talkies and would have preferred even Dracula to have been a silent film but this was no longer an option for a Hollywood director. The talking pictures have arrived and so will Freaks.
The outcome was a masterpiece in the macabre. Naturally it was hated. The world wasn't quite ready for this brand of exploitative cinema and the movie was banned for three decades, not seeing the light of day till the 60's with the hip generation & art-house Beatniks looking for new (or old) kicks in a cinematic light.
Freaks tells the tale of a dwarf named Hans who is manipulated into marrying a big women. Hans becomes the laughing stock to the entire circus and worse yet he is being poisoned little by little by his greedy wife who wants to get her hands on the little mans fortune. Hans eventually catches on and with the help of the other Freaks he gets his revenge on his wife and her secret lover Hercules. (They call him Hercules because he is "The Strong Man" of the circus). Aside from dwarfs, Freaks makes a spectacle of Pinheads, human skeletons, Siamese twins, hermaphrodites, retards, a man with no lower half of his body (known as the Torso), and a man with no limbs known as the human worm.
The movie was blamed for being cruel and condemned by its reviews. Aren't horror movies supposed to be cruel? Looking back at how unfairly Freaks was treated its amazing to see how backwards we have always been as a society. Its almost as if the people were angry that the Freaks were not made out to be the bad guys. Sure they kill a couple of people but they kill very bad people. On the other hand America was perfectly fine with Dracula seducing and killing innocent women.
Freaks which runs at 61 minutes was cut down to as much as a 30 minute version before it became banned. Tod Browning originally intended for a much more violent film. For me Freaks is perfect just the way it is but it would have been nice to see it the way Browning wanted it to be seen. Unfortunately Freaks is the film to blame for putting the genius director on the unemployment line. He would direct one or two more films but nobody would give him a break. After all he was the man who offended everybody with his tale of humanity and sympathy.
Anybody who has ever seen Freaks remembers Freaks. Its not the kind of movie that can be forgotten or ignored. If extreme cinema is your thing, be sure to give this one a watch. You wont regret or forget!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Anna Obsessed (1977)
This is one of my all time favorite horror porno's from the 70's. It plays like a slasher film with many of the cliche slash-em prototypes and the disturbing uneasy feel of a rape/revenge flick.
This one also goes under the shorter title of Obsessed and is released in cut and uncut versions. I unfortunately own the trimmed down version which is surprisingly graphic and violent at times so I can only wonder what contents are in the full uncut version.
Anna Obsessed stars Annette Haven (Reflections, Dracula Sucks, Soft Places) as a lesbian who ingages in some cunnilingus with Constance Money. Meanwhile there is a rapist/murderer stalking the suburban homes of Long Island and Mrs. Money is next on the list for a night of terror. Anna Obsessed offers up a bunch of jump-scares in true slasher fashion, weird dreamy flashbacks and a bit of the ultra violence. One scene that stands out in particular is quite a disturbing one. Constance Money is abducted and raped by the L.I. killer. She is chocked and probed with a pistol.
The average horror hound will probably see the surprise ending coming from a mile away but it still makes for a good watch. This tasteless classic is the perfect flick to watch with a group of sleazy, drunken friends. Watch for Jamie Gillis in a horny secretary's fantasies.
This one also goes under the shorter title of Obsessed and is released in cut and uncut versions. I unfortunately own the trimmed down version which is surprisingly graphic and violent at times so I can only wonder what contents are in the full uncut version.
Anna Obsessed stars Annette Haven (Reflections, Dracula Sucks, Soft Places) as a lesbian who ingages in some cunnilingus with Constance Money. Meanwhile there is a rapist/murderer stalking the suburban homes of Long Island and Mrs. Money is next on the list for a night of terror. Anna Obsessed offers up a bunch of jump-scares in true slasher fashion, weird dreamy flashbacks and a bit of the ultra violence. One scene that stands out in particular is quite a disturbing one. Constance Money is abducted and raped by the L.I. killer. She is chocked and probed with a pistol.
The average horror hound will probably see the surprise ending coming from a mile away but it still makes for a good watch. This tasteless classic is the perfect flick to watch with a group of sleazy, drunken friends. Watch for Jamie Gillis in a horny secretary's fantasies.
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
Al Pacino in one of his best roles in this 70's heist flick. Dog Day Afternoon is supposed to be based on a true story of a homosexual who robs a bank to pay for his lovers sex change operation. The robbery is botched up and we get a stand off between the criminals and the police with the bank tellers being held hostage.
Dog Day Afternoon's style and mood reminds me of movies like Taxi Driver and something that Paul Shrader would have written. Pacino's character Sonny is a great anti-hero in the ranks of men like Travis Bickle. Sure hes a criminal but he has charisma and the people of NYC need to relate to a nihilistic fuck up like this. During the all day and all night hostage stand off, Sonny gains the respect of some and the interest of the entire city with his radical verbal beatings towards the police. When it becomes known that he is a homosexual the city is in a uproar and every Tom, Dick and Harry feels the need to voice their opinions, as if the mans sexuality has anything to do with his actions or his impact on society.
John Cazale who I remember best as the big shot with a handgun who gets slapped around by Robert De Niro in The Deer Hunter plays Sal, Sonny's partner. Sal adds a whole other level to the film. His character is extremely awkward and it really says something about the company that our main character keeps. Sal is ready to kill everybody and commit suicide. He makes it clear that he is not ready to go "back" to jail and that death is a much better alternative but Sonny easily manipulates Sal into doing exactly what he wants.
Lance Henricksen (Piranha Part 2 : The Spawning, Pumpkinhead, Terminator) shows up as a sharp-shooter cop who puts a bullet cleanly between the eyes of the bad guy. We also get a cross-dressing lunatic, a bit of racism, a bit of sexism, a bit of violence and a political message to go along with it. A Dog Day Afternoon is a great example of brilliant 70's film making and a time in cinema that just doesn't exist anymore. Great dialogue, great writing, great characters and great acting adds up for a great movie.
Pay attention to the lack of music in the film. It really adds to the whole experience.
Dog Day Afternoon's style and mood reminds me of movies like Taxi Driver and something that Paul Shrader would have written. Pacino's character Sonny is a great anti-hero in the ranks of men like Travis Bickle. Sure hes a criminal but he has charisma and the people of NYC need to relate to a nihilistic fuck up like this. During the all day and all night hostage stand off, Sonny gains the respect of some and the interest of the entire city with his radical verbal beatings towards the police. When it becomes known that he is a homosexual the city is in a uproar and every Tom, Dick and Harry feels the need to voice their opinions, as if the mans sexuality has anything to do with his actions or his impact on society.
John Cazale who I remember best as the big shot with a handgun who gets slapped around by Robert De Niro in The Deer Hunter plays Sal, Sonny's partner. Sal adds a whole other level to the film. His character is extremely awkward and it really says something about the company that our main character keeps. Sal is ready to kill everybody and commit suicide. He makes it clear that he is not ready to go "back" to jail and that death is a much better alternative but Sonny easily manipulates Sal into doing exactly what he wants.
Lance Henricksen (Piranha Part 2 : The Spawning, Pumpkinhead, Terminator) shows up as a sharp-shooter cop who puts a bullet cleanly between the eyes of the bad guy. We also get a cross-dressing lunatic, a bit of racism, a bit of sexism, a bit of violence and a political message to go along with it. A Dog Day Afternoon is a great example of brilliant 70's film making and a time in cinema that just doesn't exist anymore. Great dialogue, great writing, great characters and great acting adds up for a great movie.
Pay attention to the lack of music in the film. It really adds to the whole experience.
Monday, December 19, 2011
True Grit (2010)
I recently broke a general rule that the average cinemaniac lives by when I watched a remake before seeing the original. I did this for a few reasons, the first being that the original 1969 film is a John Wayne movie and I personally have never been a big J.W. fan. As a young kid my grandfather used to watch John Wayne movies on the regular and I was just bored out of my mind. Now that I am older I am still bored by old J.W. and prefer the Italian spaghetti westerns and of course Clint Eastwood. On the other hand I have a certain interest in the Coen brothers (No Country For Old Men, Blood Simple). So naturally I gave the 2010 remake the first chance but now I feel the need to go and watch the John Wayne version and compare notes.
The Coen brothers take on True Grit starts off a bit slow with its main focus on a 14 year old girl named Mattie Ross whom sets out to avenge her fathers death with the help of a one eyed bounty hunter named Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). Cogburn and the young girl are joined by a good old boy Texas Ranger named LaBouef played by Hollywood-boy Matt Damon. Matt Damon's character sucks of course and all the entertainment comes from the one eyed Cogburn. Cogburn is a rude & crude, drunkard, killing machine and he has one hell of a voice. I highly doubt John Wayne's character is even half as cool.
In the most memorable scene Cogburn chops a mans fingers off, shoots his friend dead in the head and then leaves the fingerless man bleeding to death with a knife stuck in his chest. We also have an awesome shoot-out on horse back, a typical western target practice scene, some Cobra-snake-fu, gratuitous child kicking, Teeth being ripped out of bleeding mouths, public hangings and a typical anticlimactic Coen brothers ending.
Not a bad flick for a modern western and worth a watch for Coen brothers fans.
The Coen brothers take on True Grit starts off a bit slow with its main focus on a 14 year old girl named Mattie Ross whom sets out to avenge her fathers death with the help of a one eyed bounty hunter named Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). Cogburn and the young girl are joined by a good old boy Texas Ranger named LaBouef played by Hollywood-boy Matt Damon. Matt Damon's character sucks of course and all the entertainment comes from the one eyed Cogburn. Cogburn is a rude & crude, drunkard, killing machine and he has one hell of a voice. I highly doubt John Wayne's character is even half as cool.
In the most memorable scene Cogburn chops a mans fingers off, shoots his friend dead in the head and then leaves the fingerless man bleeding to death with a knife stuck in his chest. We also have an awesome shoot-out on horse back, a typical western target practice scene, some Cobra-snake-fu, gratuitous child kicking, Teeth being ripped out of bleeding mouths, public hangings and a typical anticlimactic Coen brothers ending.
Not a bad flick for a modern western and worth a watch for Coen brothers fans.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Sid And Nancy (1986)
There is not a Sex Pistols fan out there who has not seen this 80's flick about the fast life and early death of the band and its bass player Sid Vicious. If there is, they can't be that big of a fan...
Sex Pistols films in general cater to obviously that certain audience but the fact that Sid And Nancy was a bigger budget film and certainly had wide releasing it is a surprise that writer/director Alex Cox (Repo Man) would make a film that explains nothing. Its almost as if Cox said fuck you to everyone else, I'm going to make a movie for the people who already know something about the subject at hand and everyone else can just fuck off. Its a pretty nihilistic attitude to go along with a nihilistic movie and the finished product became an immediate cult hit. Nobody else would want to sit through a two hour movie of two junkies shooting up, snotting on themselves and bleeding while incoherent music blares in the background.
All the important iconic figures are in the movie but of course there is no explanation behind the characters. A John Spaceley or Gringo (Story Of A Junkie) character shows up for some screen time. A character named Rock Head who is supposed to be Johnny Thunders, Malcom Mclaren, Sue Cat Woman and many others and as if its not obvious enough that this is an intentional cult flick the dialogue although extremely funny, memorable and quotable is almost dulled out whenever any conversation of importance is going on. Of course with countless viewings one would know the script inside and out but yet again to everybody else... Fuck off!
Gary Oldman (True Romance) plays Sid Vicious and does an excellent job at that. From his body language to his slurred cockney speech. Chloe Webb plays Nancy and does an excellent job of portraying Nancy as the fucking horribly obnoxious piece of shit that she was. Before the films climax the average audience is awaiting the moment Sid kills her and puts us all out of our misery. Aside from the great cast Alex Cox's direction is amazing with excellent camerawork and plenty of symbolic trash to fill each frame.
So skip out on "the methadone clinic and go out in a blaze of glory" with Sid And Nancy.
Sex Pistols films in general cater to obviously that certain audience but the fact that Sid And Nancy was a bigger budget film and certainly had wide releasing it is a surprise that writer/director Alex Cox (Repo Man) would make a film that explains nothing. Its almost as if Cox said fuck you to everyone else, I'm going to make a movie for the people who already know something about the subject at hand and everyone else can just fuck off. Its a pretty nihilistic attitude to go along with a nihilistic movie and the finished product became an immediate cult hit. Nobody else would want to sit through a two hour movie of two junkies shooting up, snotting on themselves and bleeding while incoherent music blares in the background.
All the important iconic figures are in the movie but of course there is no explanation behind the characters. A John Spaceley or Gringo (Story Of A Junkie) character shows up for some screen time. A character named Rock Head who is supposed to be Johnny Thunders, Malcom Mclaren, Sue Cat Woman and many others and as if its not obvious enough that this is an intentional cult flick the dialogue although extremely funny, memorable and quotable is almost dulled out whenever any conversation of importance is going on. Of course with countless viewings one would know the script inside and out but yet again to everybody else... Fuck off!
Gary Oldman (True Romance) plays Sid Vicious and does an excellent job at that. From his body language to his slurred cockney speech. Chloe Webb plays Nancy and does an excellent job of portraying Nancy as the fucking horribly obnoxious piece of shit that she was. Before the films climax the average audience is awaiting the moment Sid kills her and puts us all out of our misery. Aside from the great cast Alex Cox's direction is amazing with excellent camerawork and plenty of symbolic trash to fill each frame.
So skip out on "the methadone clinic and go out in a blaze of glory" with Sid And Nancy.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Nightmare On Dyke Street (1992)
Possibly the worst porno parody I have ever seen and that's a pretty hard goal to achieve. This thing makes absolutely no sense at all. Dyke Street is obviously supposed to be a spoof on The Nightmare On Elm Street movies and yes we do have a Freddy Kruger character who shows up in the dreams of our female lead Samantha. We know when we are in dream land not only because Freddy appears but because the set is suddenly covered in Christmas tree tinsel. Why the film makers thought tinsel was a good effect is beyond me but the cast and sets are covered in it. The tinsel is so obviously annoying to the actors as the pull the shiny, festive, slivers away from their genitals. This stuff is getting in their vagina's for Christ sake. Next the film will cut away and the tinsel which was just removed will be back again as if the director was screaming "more tinsel! Don't touch the tinsel!".
Aside from the obnoxious Christmas decorations, Freddy doesn't really do much and for some reason he wears a long black wig. I don't know if this is supposed to mean that Freddy is a lesbian because there is no fucking dialogue in the movie other then the occasional moan and groan. Maybe he is supposed to be a woman, after all the movie is called A Nightmare On "Dyke" Street. Lesbian or not Freddy sports anal beads instead of knives for fingers but never puts them to use. Instead he/she just rubs them on women's ass and clits. Who the fuck thought this thing up? Three directors are credited for this thing which is even more embarrassing. One of them is to blame for Halloweenie which I am yet to see but Dyke Street is really pulling me in the opposite direction.
As if this isn't all weird enough we also have a bit of racism thrown into a scene where a bunch of white students make fun of their black teacher and shout out "Hammer time" constantly. They also draw a picture of a man with a huge Afro on the blackboard with an arrow going to his penis. Captioned underneath it says "Hammer time". Next the black teacher strips down to nothing but his belt and screws one of his students as Freddy watches. We also have a bunch of audio taken from Full Metal Jacket which is mixed into the shitty techno soundtrack.
It is a hell of a task to make it through A Nightmare On Dyke Street in one sitting and I strongly recommend staying far away from this grabastic piece of amphibian shit.
Aside from the obnoxious Christmas decorations, Freddy doesn't really do much and for some reason he wears a long black wig. I don't know if this is supposed to mean that Freddy is a lesbian because there is no fucking dialogue in the movie other then the occasional moan and groan. Maybe he is supposed to be a woman, after all the movie is called A Nightmare On "Dyke" Street. Lesbian or not Freddy sports anal beads instead of knives for fingers but never puts them to use. Instead he/she just rubs them on women's ass and clits. Who the fuck thought this thing up? Three directors are credited for this thing which is even more embarrassing. One of them is to blame for Halloweenie which I am yet to see but Dyke Street is really pulling me in the opposite direction.
As if this isn't all weird enough we also have a bit of racism thrown into a scene where a bunch of white students make fun of their black teacher and shout out "Hammer time" constantly. They also draw a picture of a man with a huge Afro on the blackboard with an arrow going to his penis. Captioned underneath it says "Hammer time". Next the black teacher strips down to nothing but his belt and screws one of his students as Freddy watches. We also have a bunch of audio taken from Full Metal Jacket which is mixed into the shitty techno soundtrack.
It is a hell of a task to make it through A Nightmare On Dyke Street in one sitting and I strongly recommend staying far away from this grabastic piece of amphibian shit.
Davy Crockett And The River Pirates (1956)
What we have here is probably the only decent film ever to come from Walt Disney. Davy Crockett And The River Pirates is the Technicolor sequel to Norman Foster's Davy Crockett : King Of The Wild Frontier. This time around Crockett and his partner Georgy has to race Mike Fink The King Of The River to New Orleans.
This movie is amazing for one reason and that is the character of Mike Fink and his crew of roughneck pirates. Mike Fink is a bragging, prick. He is totally full of himself and everything out of his mouth is hilarious. "I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, out-drink, Out-talk, out-cuss, out-fight anybody in the whole Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together!" He beats the crap out of his own men and has the most obnoxious laugh. How can anybody not love this character. Davy Crockett on the other hand is exactly what you would expect out from a 50's movie legendary hero. He's a good-doer with high morals. Boring!
Its also amazing that this thing is a children's movie. We have excessive drinking, plenty of fist fights and violence. A war with native American Indians and plenty more of what is considered politically incorrect today.
Davy Crockett And The River Pirates is a childhood favorite of mine and it turns out the director is the grandfather of a personal friend of mine. I don't know what the odds of this is but it makes me like the film just a bit more. If you think you might want to see a man eat his hat "feather and all" you might want to check this one out.
This movie is amazing for one reason and that is the character of Mike Fink and his crew of roughneck pirates. Mike Fink is a bragging, prick. He is totally full of himself and everything out of his mouth is hilarious. "I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, out-drink, Out-talk, out-cuss, out-fight anybody in the whole Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together!" He beats the crap out of his own men and has the most obnoxious laugh. How can anybody not love this character. Davy Crockett on the other hand is exactly what you would expect out from a 50's movie legendary hero. He's a good-doer with high morals. Boring!
Its also amazing that this thing is a children's movie. We have excessive drinking, plenty of fist fights and violence. A war with native American Indians and plenty more of what is considered politically incorrect today.
Davy Crockett And The River Pirates is a childhood favorite of mine and it turns out the director is the grandfather of a personal friend of mine. I don't know what the odds of this is but it makes me like the film just a bit more. If you think you might want to see a man eat his hat "feather and all" you might want to check this one out.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
You like slasher movies? Then you would probably like Silent Night Deadly Night. You remember the one where Santa runs around with an axe and punishes everyone who has been "Naughty". Linnea Quigley is impaled on a deer antlers and bullies are decapitated.
Well don't worry because you get to see it all again in Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2. The sequel runs just under 90 minutes and almost the entire running time is eaten up with footage from the first film. I believe we get to see every single murder from the original. Then when we finally get around to something fresh and new it is terrible. A man is killed with an umbrella in a ridiculous scene. Another is strangled, another is run over repeatedly by a van. Eventually we get around to a decent kill in a scene where a man has battery cables shoved in his mouth (the scene comes complete with bad 80's electric special effects and exploding eyeballs). Then we get another strangulation and eventually the big massacre that gives the movies its cult following. Our psycho killer walks through the streets and shoots people who are taking out their garbage "Garbage day!".
The fact that most of the film consists of footage from the first movie is only the beginning of the problems with Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2. The entire film is filled with continuity and plot holes. Anybody familiar with the first film knows that Santa gets blown away right before he chops mother superior up with an axe. The axe falls to the floor and the camera zooms in on the villains younger brother. Obviously they were setting themselves up for a sequel in true 80's fashion. The only problem is the new killer retells the first film step by step and the fucking guy wasn't even there. How the hell does he know what his older brother was doing on his own time?
Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 is a mess of a movie but can be a bit of a guilty pleasure. It's not the worst movie to watch in a arthouse theater full of unruly, drunken, maniacs who like to throw things at the screen and yell through the entire movie. Good times! Just don't try to take it seriously. You would be better off trying suicide...
Well don't worry because you get to see it all again in Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2. The sequel runs just under 90 minutes and almost the entire running time is eaten up with footage from the first film. I believe we get to see every single murder from the original. Then when we finally get around to something fresh and new it is terrible. A man is killed with an umbrella in a ridiculous scene. Another is strangled, another is run over repeatedly by a van. Eventually we get around to a decent kill in a scene where a man has battery cables shoved in his mouth (the scene comes complete with bad 80's electric special effects and exploding eyeballs). Then we get another strangulation and eventually the big massacre that gives the movies its cult following. Our psycho killer walks through the streets and shoots people who are taking out their garbage "Garbage day!".
The fact that most of the film consists of footage from the first movie is only the beginning of the problems with Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2. The entire film is filled with continuity and plot holes. Anybody familiar with the first film knows that Santa gets blown away right before he chops mother superior up with an axe. The axe falls to the floor and the camera zooms in on the villains younger brother. Obviously they were setting themselves up for a sequel in true 80's fashion. The only problem is the new killer retells the first film step by step and the fucking guy wasn't even there. How the hell does he know what his older brother was doing on his own time?
Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 is a mess of a movie but can be a bit of a guilty pleasure. It's not the worst movie to watch in a arthouse theater full of unruly, drunken, maniacs who like to throw things at the screen and yell through the entire movie. Good times! Just don't try to take it seriously. You would be better off trying suicide...
Monday, December 12, 2011
Critters 2 (1988)
Mick Garris the director of The Stand and Psycho 4 : The Beginning, directs the sequel for Critters. This time around there is a lot more murder on display. While the first film had a {PG13} rating and was very tame almost in a Gremlins kinda way, the sequel's tagline boasts The Main Course... It's everyone's turn for seconds and sported a {R} rating.
This means more death and more gore. We also get a bare breasted bimbo this time around in what has to be one of the most gratuitous scenes of boobage in cinematic history next to Zombie Death House.
This time around the hungry aliens eat humans, cows, dogs, nerds and bullies. Critters two offers up another dead cop and they even get the bounty hunter from the first film who can't chose a face. To bad they didn't get the glam bastard instead or at least Charlie the towns drunk. Charlie does come back for the second film and this time he is one of the bounty hunters and he pretty much saves the day in this one.
On the other hand aside from the increased gore and nudity they also added more comedy and sappy stuff into this one. We have a boring love story for a subplot going on with our red-head main character and there is also a little girl running around that we are supposed to think "Oh how cute". Of course this is not the fact and us monster-kids would much rather see them both being eaten up by the razor toothed hairballs from outer space. However we do get an awesome super-nerd who works at a fast food joint. His screen time is much appreciated and he has to be one of the most awkward actors of all time. Some of the other comedic treats that Critters 2 has to offer is a dead easterbunny, more foul mouthed Critters and a spaceship suicide bomber. Also the Criters all join together to make one giant flesh eating ball of terror.
Fans of the first film should definitely enjoy the sequel. More gore! Need I say more?
This means more death and more gore. We also get a bare breasted bimbo this time around in what has to be one of the most gratuitous scenes of boobage in cinematic history next to Zombie Death House.
This time around the hungry aliens eat humans, cows, dogs, nerds and bullies. Critters two offers up another dead cop and they even get the bounty hunter from the first film who can't chose a face. To bad they didn't get the glam bastard instead or at least Charlie the towns drunk. Charlie does come back for the second film and this time he is one of the bounty hunters and he pretty much saves the day in this one.
On the other hand aside from the increased gore and nudity they also added more comedy and sappy stuff into this one. We have a boring love story for a subplot going on with our red-head main character and there is also a little girl running around that we are supposed to think "Oh how cute". Of course this is not the fact and us monster-kids would much rather see them both being eaten up by the razor toothed hairballs from outer space. However we do get an awesome super-nerd who works at a fast food joint. His screen time is much appreciated and he has to be one of the most awkward actors of all time. Some of the other comedic treats that Critters 2 has to offer is a dead easterbunny, more foul mouthed Critters and a spaceship suicide bomber. Also the Criters all join together to make one giant flesh eating ball of terror.
Fans of the first film should definitely enjoy the sequel. More gore! Need I say more?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Recently I had the privilege of catching the greatest horror film of all time on the big screen during twelve hour horror festival. Texas Chainsaw Massacre being my all time favorite film in the genre I was pretty psyched. As if this experience wasn't going to be memorable enough for me, the very old and very rare print burned on screen right before my eyes. Luckily for the print holder the movie only burned during the opening narration scene. "The film you are about to see is an account of tragedy that befell a group of five youths, In particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were very young but if they had lived very, very long lives they could not have expected nor would they wish to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day..." Then the thing goes up in flames right before the audience. It couldn't have been planned any better.
However once they got the film back up and running it was as if I were seeing it again for the first time. The countless vhs and dvd viewings I have given The Texas Chainsaw Massacre goes out the window the second it is seen the way it was intended to be. The blown up 16mm holds nothing back from the audience. Even through the wear and tear and the grit & grain, I was seeing things that have never stood out in the past for me. For instance the rotting corpse in the beginning of the film in the cemetery has liquid decay dripping from the front teeth. There is hair to be seen in the mess of bones and skeletons that are scattered throughout the house. You even get to see deeper into Franklin's boxer shorts when he falls from his wheelchair while urinating in his favorite coffee can.
I make jokes now but I wasn't laughing or making jokes in the theater. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the most relentless and terrifying film ever created. Its a heart pounding ride that just doesn't let up. From the demented script, to the morbid scenery and the disturbing characters. The sound of the film alone is enough to give a horror fanatic a nervous breakdown.
It must have been a sight to see in 1974 when this thing was unleashed on theater goers. I wonder how many women were sick in the passenger seats at drive-ins. I wonder how many men jumped and latched on to their best girl and didn't even feel the need to be embarrassed. This is truly a scary film and the audience can go a little insane with our main female character.
If this thing ever plays in a town near you, be sure to be there. It is an experience that can't be forgotten.
However once they got the film back up and running it was as if I were seeing it again for the first time. The countless vhs and dvd viewings I have given The Texas Chainsaw Massacre goes out the window the second it is seen the way it was intended to be. The blown up 16mm holds nothing back from the audience. Even through the wear and tear and the grit & grain, I was seeing things that have never stood out in the past for me. For instance the rotting corpse in the beginning of the film in the cemetery has liquid decay dripping from the front teeth. There is hair to be seen in the mess of bones and skeletons that are scattered throughout the house. You even get to see deeper into Franklin's boxer shorts when he falls from his wheelchair while urinating in his favorite coffee can.
I make jokes now but I wasn't laughing or making jokes in the theater. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the most relentless and terrifying film ever created. Its a heart pounding ride that just doesn't let up. From the demented script, to the morbid scenery and the disturbing characters. The sound of the film alone is enough to give a horror fanatic a nervous breakdown.
It must have been a sight to see in 1974 when this thing was unleashed on theater goers. I wonder how many women were sick in the passenger seats at drive-ins. I wonder how many men jumped and latched on to their best girl and didn't even feel the need to be embarrassed. This is truly a scary film and the audience can go a little insane with our main female character.
If this thing ever plays in a town near you, be sure to be there. It is an experience that can't be forgotten.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Night Of The Blood Beast (1958)
Written by Roger Corman's brother Gene Corman and directed by the man who would give us Attack Of The Giant Leeches in the following year, Night Of The Blood Beast would be double billed with the superior Roger Corman film She Gods Of Shark Reef.
I generally love these campy 50's monster movies but Night Of The Blood Beast has to be one of the worst monster flicks I have ever seen. It starts off with an incredibly cheesy spaceship crash-landing on planet Earth. The astronaut is dead of course and some really uninteresting scientists bring him back for a autopsy. Of course we don't get to see all the bloody stuff, like the corpse being cut open and I didn't really expect it from a 50's flick but it would be nice if we got something other then boring chit-chat and drawn out talky scenes from dull characters. The movie only runs at 62 minutes but due to these long winded talking scenes it seems to go on forever.
We eventually get a monster towards the end of the movie and that's of course where it gets (slightly) entertaining. The monster looks like pure hell and not in a good way. It runs around with hapless women and gives a speech to the (stupid & violent) species of Earth people in a scene that is oddly reminiscent of Plan 9 From Outer Space. A man commits suicide with a knife to his own guts but due to the fact that he is not Japanese he needs a little help from a grenade. This scene and the silly monster suit is really the only thing worth while in Night Of The Blood Beast. Other then that its a total piece of crap that needs to be avoided.
Beware : this thing was also released as Creature From Galaxy 27 and Monster From Galaxy 27 in the vhs days. So be sure to stay away from those titles as well. No wonder nobody ever talks about Roger's brother.
I generally love these campy 50's monster movies but Night Of The Blood Beast has to be one of the worst monster flicks I have ever seen. It starts off with an incredibly cheesy spaceship crash-landing on planet Earth. The astronaut is dead of course and some really uninteresting scientists bring him back for a autopsy. Of course we don't get to see all the bloody stuff, like the corpse being cut open and I didn't really expect it from a 50's flick but it would be nice if we got something other then boring chit-chat and drawn out talky scenes from dull characters. The movie only runs at 62 minutes but due to these long winded talking scenes it seems to go on forever.
We eventually get a monster towards the end of the movie and that's of course where it gets (slightly) entertaining. The monster looks like pure hell and not in a good way. It runs around with hapless women and gives a speech to the (stupid & violent) species of Earth people in a scene that is oddly reminiscent of Plan 9 From Outer Space. A man commits suicide with a knife to his own guts but due to the fact that he is not Japanese he needs a little help from a grenade. This scene and the silly monster suit is really the only thing worth while in Night Of The Blood Beast. Other then that its a total piece of crap that needs to be avoided.
Beware : this thing was also released as Creature From Galaxy 27 and Monster From Galaxy 27 in the vhs days. So be sure to stay away from those titles as well. No wonder nobody ever talks about Roger's brother.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Grotesque (1988)
Having first seen this thing when I was a young teenager who was really into punk rock and horror movies Grotesque was an immediate candidate for a vhs bootleg. Even back then when I was still green as far as ultra rare horror titles went I knew that Grotesque was a bad movie but that just added to the appeal for me.
Personally being a big fan of any movie that portrays punk rockers as violent/horrible people, Grotesque definitely fits into that category. Movies like Class Of 1984 is just scratching the surface of over the top and ridiculous punksploitation. Sure Class Of 1984 is a way better movie but Grotesque is just so gratuitous with its senseless violence that it really has to be loved, unless of course you're one of those pansy p.c. hippies disguised with a Mohawk and a studded vest who think punks should be portrayed positively in cinema. To all those people, I say fuck off! I want to watch Linda Blair being terrorized by a bunch of stupid, cackling, spiky-haired, degenerates. If that sounds like your cup of tea, you better be sure to check this one out.
Blair takes on one of her most unattractive roles as a good girl who wears way to much clothing (complete with 80's shoulder padded, women's suits) and has a really bad mullet. She crosses paths with a gang of "Punkers"... Gotta love the excessive use of the word punkers. Covered from head to toe in leather, chains and of course face makeup these bastards invade Blairs home and kill her entire family including the scream queen herself. Achy-breaky skulls are smashed in with bats (complete with gore) and mommy gets knifed up. Blair is strangled but the one thing the leather clad gang didn't count on was Blairs mutant brother breaking free from his cage in a secret room in the house and getting his bloody revenge. Who thought this up, I don't know. What I do know is that its as awful as can be. Things happen for no reason and without any warning and once the deformed brother breaks loose the viewer doesn't know what to expect next.
Big-chin, Maniac Cop himself shows up as one of the punks and his appearance is always well appreciated. We also get a bunch of silly and totally ineffective jump scares, with bad masks and even worse acting. The movie eventually shifts gears again when the mutant brother is killed with a shotgun blast to the torso and another family member finishes up the job of revenge. He straps the only two surviving "punkers" to a medical table and performs surgery on their faces. When hes done the punks wont have to spike their hair up to look outlandish. Now they look like natural born freaks. I suppose this was supposed to be some kind of weird commentary on punk rockers from the filmmakers and it just makes the movie all the more ridiculous and terrible. The old television version of this had one more surprise in store for us. Before the films final credits roll the film falls off of a projector and Frankenstein and The Wolf Man show up and talk about how they are still the scariest. Yeah I know its dumb, random and makes no sense. Well that's why I call them Movies From Mars.
Check this one out for scummy punk rockers, cheesy special effects, a totally disjointed plot, universal monsters throw-back, and a horribly dressed Linda Blair.
Personally being a big fan of any movie that portrays punk rockers as violent/horrible people, Grotesque definitely fits into that category. Movies like Class Of 1984 is just scratching the surface of over the top and ridiculous punksploitation. Sure Class Of 1984 is a way better movie but Grotesque is just so gratuitous with its senseless violence that it really has to be loved, unless of course you're one of those pansy p.c. hippies disguised with a Mohawk and a studded vest who think punks should be portrayed positively in cinema. To all those people, I say fuck off! I want to watch Linda Blair being terrorized by a bunch of stupid, cackling, spiky-haired, degenerates. If that sounds like your cup of tea, you better be sure to check this one out.
Blair takes on one of her most unattractive roles as a good girl who wears way to much clothing (complete with 80's shoulder padded, women's suits) and has a really bad mullet. She crosses paths with a gang of "Punkers"... Gotta love the excessive use of the word punkers. Covered from head to toe in leather, chains and of course face makeup these bastards invade Blairs home and kill her entire family including the scream queen herself. Achy-breaky skulls are smashed in with bats (complete with gore) and mommy gets knifed up. Blair is strangled but the one thing the leather clad gang didn't count on was Blairs mutant brother breaking free from his cage in a secret room in the house and getting his bloody revenge. Who thought this up, I don't know. What I do know is that its as awful as can be. Things happen for no reason and without any warning and once the deformed brother breaks loose the viewer doesn't know what to expect next.
Big-chin, Maniac Cop himself shows up as one of the punks and his appearance is always well appreciated. We also get a bunch of silly and totally ineffective jump scares, with bad masks and even worse acting. The movie eventually shifts gears again when the mutant brother is killed with a shotgun blast to the torso and another family member finishes up the job of revenge. He straps the only two surviving "punkers" to a medical table and performs surgery on their faces. When hes done the punks wont have to spike their hair up to look outlandish. Now they look like natural born freaks. I suppose this was supposed to be some kind of weird commentary on punk rockers from the filmmakers and it just makes the movie all the more ridiculous and terrible. The old television version of this had one more surprise in store for us. Before the films final credits roll the film falls off of a projector and Frankenstein and The Wolf Man show up and talk about how they are still the scariest. Yeah I know its dumb, random and makes no sense. Well that's why I call them Movies From Mars.
Check this one out for scummy punk rockers, cheesy special effects, a totally disjointed plot, universal monsters throw-back, and a horribly dressed Linda Blair.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Throne Of Blood (1957)
Personally not being an expert or even very familiar with Akira Kurosawa (Seven Samurai, Yojimbo) and his body of work, it is impossible for me to compare Throne Of Blood to the legendary directors other films. This however being the first Kurosawa film I have ever seen and the only one in my collection there is a soft spot in my heart for this eerie tale of ghosts, power, betrayal and death.
Throne Of Blood also known as The Castle Of Spiders Web is a adaption of Shakespeare Macbeth that takes place in medieval Japan.
Two brave and respected warriors encounter a ghost in the woods who will tell their future. The ghost although seemingly evil by its appearance seems to only bring good fortune. The soldiers are informed that they will become very important and powerful men. They will be emperors and rulers. Sure enough the fortune comes true for the two men almost immediately. However the men almost seem to be haunted by the memory of the spirit in the woods for years to come and it seems as if they almost expect bad fortune to come their way.
Throne Of Blood soon transforms into a tale of paranoia, madness and betrayal. One of them is manipulated by his power hungry wife. He becomes more and more paranoid until he sinks to the level of killing his friends and superiors. The other is betrayed by his son which changes the course of the fortune told by the ghost in the woods.
The film comes to an end with a tragic battle and our main characters being assassinated by their own men. One of them is showered in arrows in a unforgettable scene. I couldn't help but wonder if Brian De Palma was influenced by this scene for his climax of Scare Face.
The creepy imagery is really what makes Throne Of Blood so appealing. Horror fans will appreciate the cinematography and makeup used for the spirits and ghosts. We also have an awesome scene where the trees in the woods come to life and rise to attack and kill the emperor. It has to be seen to be believed. Its amazing to think that in America in 1957 we were making movies like Invasion Of The Saucer Men or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein and at the same time over in Japan Akira Kurosawa would come out with cinematic art like Throne Of Blood.
Check it out for creepy ghosts, arrows through the neck (complete with black & white blood), sword violence, spear violence, an insane drunk "I am terribly drunk" and one of the creepiest women to ever appear on screen.
Throne Of Blood also known as The Castle Of Spiders Web is a adaption of Shakespeare Macbeth that takes place in medieval Japan.
Two brave and respected warriors encounter a ghost in the woods who will tell their future. The ghost although seemingly evil by its appearance seems to only bring good fortune. The soldiers are informed that they will become very important and powerful men. They will be emperors and rulers. Sure enough the fortune comes true for the two men almost immediately. However the men almost seem to be haunted by the memory of the spirit in the woods for years to come and it seems as if they almost expect bad fortune to come their way.
Throne Of Blood soon transforms into a tale of paranoia, madness and betrayal. One of them is manipulated by his power hungry wife. He becomes more and more paranoid until he sinks to the level of killing his friends and superiors. The other is betrayed by his son which changes the course of the fortune told by the ghost in the woods.
The film comes to an end with a tragic battle and our main characters being assassinated by their own men. One of them is showered in arrows in a unforgettable scene. I couldn't help but wonder if Brian De Palma was influenced by this scene for his climax of Scare Face.
The creepy imagery is really what makes Throne Of Blood so appealing. Horror fans will appreciate the cinematography and makeup used for the spirits and ghosts. We also have an awesome scene where the trees in the woods come to life and rise to attack and kill the emperor. It has to be seen to be believed. Its amazing to think that in America in 1957 we were making movies like Invasion Of The Saucer Men or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein and at the same time over in Japan Akira Kurosawa would come out with cinematic art like Throne Of Blood.
Check it out for creepy ghosts, arrows through the neck (complete with black & white blood), sword violence, spear violence, an insane drunk "I am terribly drunk" and one of the creepiest women to ever appear on screen.
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