Jesus Franco films have a tendency to be either long, drawn-out, nonsensical, boring, droolers or high entertainment in exploitation art. Sometimes that barrier is very thin in the world of Franco and the viewers mind frame at the time of screening can have much to do with the overall experience. Of course this would stand true with most movies but it seems a bit more so with a Franco film. In other words, you really have to be in the mood for a Franco movie to enjoy it. For instance, Vampyros Lesbos is considered by many to be one of Franco's best but nobody can deny the fact that it can also be a real sleeper if one is not prepared for this sort of thing.
In this sense Succubus is very much like Vampyros. It carries the same dream like vibe and every camera angle is unique with perfectly framed characters, props and local. The soundtrack on Succubus might not be rockin as is that of Vampyros but it definitely adds a level of surreal weirdness that is necessary for this sort of film.
Succubus is a true piece of art and its almost hard to believe that the same man who did movies like Barbed Wire Dolls and Sadomania is capable of creating such class amongst his trash (if that makes any sense).
There isn't much plot to follow on this one. Instead we follow a pretty red-head through strip clubs, art houses, night clubs, weird bondage role playing shows and of course her love life. She is a mystery to all and wanted by women and men alike. The only problem is most can only have her once... As we follow our Succubus through a distinguished Franco camera lens, the bodies of her lovers drop.
Aside from the dreamy. artsy-fartsy stuff Succubus offers up a hippie-delic acid scene (complete with creepy midgets, and a house party on their hands and knees pretending to be horny doggy's). We also get a fair amount of nudity (after all this is a Franco movie). Mr. J&B appears constantly, We get a strip-teasing, Lesbians, whippings, multiple stabbings, achy-breaky skulls (complete with angel statue to the face), Mannequins come to life in one of the creepiest moments in the film but the thing that I found most interesting was certain dialogue. Mainly in scenes where the characters discuss various artists and their first association with them.
Succubus is the perfect movie to watch alone. It's not the type of movie you can recommend to entertain a group of friends with. In that case you would need something like Devils Nightmare with Erika Blanc as a Succubus. Come to think of it the two films would make a pretty good double feature, Succubus would have to play first though. Otherwise there will be some soaring in the audience.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Torso (1973)
Sergio Martino, the same director who gave us exploitation greats such as Mountain Of The Cannibal God, Hands Of Steel and Screamers delivers one of the sleaziest Giallo's in euro-trash cinema with Torso. If you came to see beautiful butchered women, you came to the right place.
The full uncut version of Torso also know as Carnal Violence offers up lots of hot euro-babes who bare it all... breast and bush. The only problem is there is a sex-maniac running around in true Giallo fashion with black gloves and strangling the girls with a scarf. The killer also wears a mask that is reminiscent of a Mexican wrestling Luchadore mask. However last time I checked Santo didn't chop up any pretty girls in Santo Vs. The Zombies and I suppose the whole masked killer thing is more of an American thing then Italian thing, Except of course in very few like Bava's Blood And Black Lace. The iconic American masked villain-slashers like Michael Myers wouldn't appear on screen for another five years or so.
For me the plot isn't overly interesting on this one and the story doesn't keep you on the edge of your seat like some of the better Argento or Fulci Giallo flicks but then again. I came here to see people die and this guy is one sick fucker... In the one scene that made this film so affective for me the audience sees a girl who is hiding in the corner of a room that is filled with her best friends dead bodies. The killer hacks all of her friends up one by one with a hack saw. The girl witnesses everything and has to hold her breath (or vomit) back while the horrible atrocity is going on. This whole scene reminded me of the Richard Speck massacre with the one survivor hiding under the bed while her friends were being raped, murdered and mutilated. For this scene alone I found Torso to be delightfully sick and twisted and this moment in the movie earns the film the right to be gifted with a title as great as "Torso".
Lovers of blood, breasts and gloved killers should get a kick from this one. I won't say who the killer is because that's not any fun but I will say that fans of this movie would most likely be fond of the equally trashy Slaughter Hotel with Klaus Kinsky.
The full uncut version of Torso also know as Carnal Violence offers up lots of hot euro-babes who bare it all... breast and bush. The only problem is there is a sex-maniac running around in true Giallo fashion with black gloves and strangling the girls with a scarf. The killer also wears a mask that is reminiscent of a Mexican wrestling Luchadore mask. However last time I checked Santo didn't chop up any pretty girls in Santo Vs. The Zombies and I suppose the whole masked killer thing is more of an American thing then Italian thing, Except of course in very few like Bava's Blood And Black Lace. The iconic American masked villain-slashers like Michael Myers wouldn't appear on screen for another five years or so.
For me the plot isn't overly interesting on this one and the story doesn't keep you on the edge of your seat like some of the better Argento or Fulci Giallo flicks but then again. I came here to see people die and this guy is one sick fucker... In the one scene that made this film so affective for me the audience sees a girl who is hiding in the corner of a room that is filled with her best friends dead bodies. The killer hacks all of her friends up one by one with a hack saw. The girl witnesses everything and has to hold her breath (or vomit) back while the horrible atrocity is going on. This whole scene reminded me of the Richard Speck massacre with the one survivor hiding under the bed while her friends were being raped, murdered and mutilated. For this scene alone I found Torso to be delightfully sick and twisted and this moment in the movie earns the film the right to be gifted with a title as great as "Torso".
Lovers of blood, breasts and gloved killers should get a kick from this one. I won't say who the killer is because that's not any fun but I will say that fans of this movie would most likely be fond of the equally trashy Slaughter Hotel with Klaus Kinsky.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Terror Train (1980)
Jamie Lee Curtis is terrorized yet again in this 1980 slasher. Although Prom Night which came out the same year is the more popular of the two Terror Train is still a cool little slasher flick with a few elements that make it stand out from the rest. First off the killer changes his mask constantly which keeps the movie interesting and unpredictable... Well at least unpredictable for a "typical slasher".
Along with the constant change of masks and costumes the killer doesn't have a weapon of choice. He uses swords, knives, an axe and various other sharp objects. Jamie Lee Curtis digs back to her Halloween weapon of choice and proves yet again that a coat hanger can do damage on more then a unborn. My main problem with this movie is that to many of the murders happen off screen. Still the aftermath is somewhat satisfying and we do get a bit more blood then the average off-screen-slash-em flick.
Terror Train offers up a decapitation, hand dismemberment, achy-breaky skulls complete with faces being smashed through bathroom mirrors, throat slashing, bare breasts, a sword through the gut, a sword through the back, a sword through the head, finger chopping. a paper spike to the face, an earring is ripped out, bodies thrown from a train and one guy is run over by the train.
Another thing that makes this movie unique is that the famous magician David Copperfield plays a big role and also has a death scene. This is Copperfield's one and only film. Perhaps he didn't enjoy having a sword pushed through his torso and head.
Terror Train is one of those 80's horror flicks that is filled with characters who like to play really silly and usually gory pranks on each other. Similar to movies like April Fools Day or the character of Shelly in Friday The 13th Part 3-D. Although still cheesy I suppose the gags are slightly more effective in this one. One of them offers up a scene with a mutilated torso, complete with a bit of necrophilia.
I personally have a thing for these horror on a train movies. Night Train Murders is my personal favorite. Then you always have the nazisploitation movies like Hell Train and Fraulein Devil. Check this one out for ridiculous costumes, Jamie Lee Curtis & magic shows.
Along with the constant change of masks and costumes the killer doesn't have a weapon of choice. He uses swords, knives, an axe and various other sharp objects. Jamie Lee Curtis digs back to her Halloween weapon of choice and proves yet again that a coat hanger can do damage on more then a unborn. My main problem with this movie is that to many of the murders happen off screen. Still the aftermath is somewhat satisfying and we do get a bit more blood then the average off-screen-slash-em flick.
Terror Train offers up a decapitation, hand dismemberment, achy-breaky skulls complete with faces being smashed through bathroom mirrors, throat slashing, bare breasts, a sword through the gut, a sword through the back, a sword through the head, finger chopping. a paper spike to the face, an earring is ripped out, bodies thrown from a train and one guy is run over by the train.
Another thing that makes this movie unique is that the famous magician David Copperfield plays a big role and also has a death scene. This is Copperfield's one and only film. Perhaps he didn't enjoy having a sword pushed through his torso and head.
Terror Train is one of those 80's horror flicks that is filled with characters who like to play really silly and usually gory pranks on each other. Similar to movies like April Fools Day or the character of Shelly in Friday The 13th Part 3-D. Although still cheesy I suppose the gags are slightly more effective in this one. One of them offers up a scene with a mutilated torso, complete with a bit of necrophilia.
I personally have a thing for these horror on a train movies. Night Train Murders is my personal favorite. Then you always have the nazisploitation movies like Hell Train and Fraulein Devil. Check this one out for ridiculous costumes, Jamie Lee Curtis & magic shows.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Death Warmed Up (1984)
If this one isn't from Mars then it definitely must be from New Zealand. This 80's gore flick is totally off its rocker. It doesn't make to much sense but its a whole lot of fun to watch.
A mad scientist hypnotizes a kid with murder for a mission. The kid blows away his parents with a shotgun in gory detail and he is locked away in a mental institution ran by the very same mad scientist who had him blow away his parents. Seventeen years later the kid is released from the loony-bin and he tracks down the mad scientist who did him wrong to act out some revenge but things don't go as planed when there is a outbreak of sub-human, lunatics with very violent tendencies.
Its a cool story but it really doesn't make any sense. Things seem to happen for no reason and are never explained. We don't even ever find out why the mad scientist is creating these sub-human, psychos. Another thing that is really weird about this movie is that the kid who is seeking revenge brings three friends along with him on a vacation. His friends are unaware that they are going to be taking part in some bloody vengeance.
On the other hand Death Warmed Up is a totally fun gore flick. It doesn't even really fit into any horror sub genre because it plays like a cross between a post apocalypse flick and a zombie movie. With human melt-downs and of course the mad scientist.
The movie offers up some exploding head action, more then one open brain surgery scenes complete with bone saws and other skull cracking devices, We get 80's achy-breaky skulls complete with that special effect that was used in all the 80's werewolf movies, where it looks like there is a balloon under the flesh. A sexy nurse is stabbed with scissors (complete with bloody splatter), two shotgun murders (complete with flying guts). Dirt bike chase scene that ends with a biker impaled on a pole (complete with gut spilling), repeated gut stabbing, a pervy hunchback, a tid bit of tit & a muscle man shower scene from the guy who played in that awful 90's Hercules television show.
Leave your brain at home or with your favorite psycho-surgeon and check out Death Warmed Up for a splattery good time from New Zealand.
A mad scientist hypnotizes a kid with murder for a mission. The kid blows away his parents with a shotgun in gory detail and he is locked away in a mental institution ran by the very same mad scientist who had him blow away his parents. Seventeen years later the kid is released from the loony-bin and he tracks down the mad scientist who did him wrong to act out some revenge but things don't go as planed when there is a outbreak of sub-human, lunatics with very violent tendencies.
Its a cool story but it really doesn't make any sense. Things seem to happen for no reason and are never explained. We don't even ever find out why the mad scientist is creating these sub-human, psychos. Another thing that is really weird about this movie is that the kid who is seeking revenge brings three friends along with him on a vacation. His friends are unaware that they are going to be taking part in some bloody vengeance.
On the other hand Death Warmed Up is a totally fun gore flick. It doesn't even really fit into any horror sub genre because it plays like a cross between a post apocalypse flick and a zombie movie. With human melt-downs and of course the mad scientist.
The movie offers up some exploding head action, more then one open brain surgery scenes complete with bone saws and other skull cracking devices, We get 80's achy-breaky skulls complete with that special effect that was used in all the 80's werewolf movies, where it looks like there is a balloon under the flesh. A sexy nurse is stabbed with scissors (complete with bloody splatter), two shotgun murders (complete with flying guts). Dirt bike chase scene that ends with a biker impaled on a pole (complete with gut spilling), repeated gut stabbing, a pervy hunchback, a tid bit of tit & a muscle man shower scene from the guy who played in that awful 90's Hercules television show.
Leave your brain at home or with your favorite psycho-surgeon and check out Death Warmed Up for a splattery good time from New Zealand.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Street Trash (1987)
If you were to ask me to define the 80's splatter genre the first films that would come to mind would be Bad Taste and Street Trash. This movie has a level of camp that makes it impossible to take the movie serious at all, nor does it want you to but on the other hand they took the special effect very seriously. Not in the realistic sense that movies like Maniac (1980) went for because the blood spattered mess that this one leaves behind is some of the brightest colors ever.
I always said that the perfect double feature would be Street Trash and C.H.U.D. because both films are filled to the brim with filthy, dirty bums and they are both horror flicks. I suppose now that Hobo With A Shotgun has been unleashed upon all of us homelessploitation nuts, we can have a triple feature.
I have always related Street Trash to Troma films. It has that sort of chaotic style running through it that is found in films like The Toxic Avenger and Class Of Nuke Em High. Where Troma uses seemingly thousands of extras to fill the screen and help their films move along at an insane pace Street Trash does the same thing with... well trash. The sets and locations are packed out with trash and garbage and it adds a level of dirtiness that the movie needs to work.
The plot if you can call it that follows a bunch of "Bums" through their daily lives of drinking and... well bumming. They live in a new york city junk yard and when a local liquor store gets a bad batch of "Viper" booze, the bums start melting down. Neon colored blood flows through the streets with every bum-melt-down. Street Trash offers shit-loads of memorable scenes. One consists of a homeless man who is pulled into a toilet. First his hands brake off, then ooze pours from his mouth and out his pant legs. When its all said and done we have a strange looking toilet monster left floating. We also have hand made knives from human bones which are imbeded into the back of rival homeless folk, we get kleptomaniac bums who trash grocery stores, a decapitation, exploding bodies, bum-sex, a homeless gang-bang rape scene, achy-breaky skull smashing, Vietnam flashbacks (complete with explosions), necrophilia, a quick titty scene, a fat pervert who tries to rape his Secretary, and a whole bunch of memorable lines "Fuck you! Give me a bottle of booze... Here's my dollar... Suck my dick!".
Street Trash is a perfect choice of trash that is best used to entertain a room full of drunken friends. If they aren't amused this probably means they are offended and if they are offended you probably need to chose better friends.
I always said that the perfect double feature would be Street Trash and C.H.U.D. because both films are filled to the brim with filthy, dirty bums and they are both horror flicks. I suppose now that Hobo With A Shotgun has been unleashed upon all of us homelessploitation nuts, we can have a triple feature.
I have always related Street Trash to Troma films. It has that sort of chaotic style running through it that is found in films like The Toxic Avenger and Class Of Nuke Em High. Where Troma uses seemingly thousands of extras to fill the screen and help their films move along at an insane pace Street Trash does the same thing with... well trash. The sets and locations are packed out with trash and garbage and it adds a level of dirtiness that the movie needs to work.
The plot if you can call it that follows a bunch of "Bums" through their daily lives of drinking and... well bumming. They live in a new york city junk yard and when a local liquor store gets a bad batch of "Viper" booze, the bums start melting down. Neon colored blood flows through the streets with every bum-melt-down. Street Trash offers shit-loads of memorable scenes. One consists of a homeless man who is pulled into a toilet. First his hands brake off, then ooze pours from his mouth and out his pant legs. When its all said and done we have a strange looking toilet monster left floating. We also have hand made knives from human bones which are imbeded into the back of rival homeless folk, we get kleptomaniac bums who trash grocery stores, a decapitation, exploding bodies, bum-sex, a homeless gang-bang rape scene, achy-breaky skull smashing, Vietnam flashbacks (complete with explosions), necrophilia, a quick titty scene, a fat pervert who tries to rape his Secretary, and a whole bunch of memorable lines "Fuck you! Give me a bottle of booze... Here's my dollar... Suck my dick!".
Street Trash is a perfect choice of trash that is best used to entertain a room full of drunken friends. If they aren't amused this probably means they are offended and if they are offended you probably need to chose better friends.
Contraband (1980)
Luci Fulci is remembered by most for his graphic violence and gory depictions of death in his horror films. He is recognized by many as The Godfather Of Gore, a name that is also used while referencing the great Herschell Gordon Lewis. Many of Fulci's films outside of the horror genre go unwatched by the pure horror audience which is a big mistake because he has ventured into many different genre's. Sexploitation movies, comedies and crime flicks like Contraband still have much to offer and sometimes can be as gory as his horror flicks.
Contraband offers up plenty of the red stuff, with graphic scenes of gun violence. We have brains being blown through the back of skulls, shattered skulls, machine guns to the face, a woman has her face burnt off with a blow torch and it is one of the few moments in cinematic history where it is shown in great gory detail. Contraband shows massive shotgun wounds to the torso (complete with chunks of guts flying across the screen), a nasty rape scene, brutal stabbings... Couples are blown up in bed while screwing for fuck-sake. Contraband is pure bloody mayhem.
These were Fulci's greatest days. The cult classic Zombie a.k.a. Zombi 2 would come out only one year before this epic crime flick and titles like The Beyond, Gates Of Hell and New York Ripper were right around the corner.
Fabio Testi (What Have You Done To Solange?) takes on the main role as Luca, a member of an Italian mafia family who has a vendetta against rival crime lords who killed his brother. Ajita Wilson (Sadomania, Hell Penitentiary) also shows up as a prostitute and shows a bit of tit as usual. Fulci himself also appears in a much appreciated cameo as a machine gun wielding psycho who blows away the enemy and leaves a bloody mess as well.
Contraband is probably my favorite of all Italian crime flicks and is on the top of the recommendation list as far as I'm concerned. Gore galore!
Contraband offers up plenty of the red stuff, with graphic scenes of gun violence. We have brains being blown through the back of skulls, shattered skulls, machine guns to the face, a woman has her face burnt off with a blow torch and it is one of the few moments in cinematic history where it is shown in great gory detail. Contraband shows massive shotgun wounds to the torso (complete with chunks of guts flying across the screen), a nasty rape scene, brutal stabbings... Couples are blown up in bed while screwing for fuck-sake. Contraband is pure bloody mayhem.
These were Fulci's greatest days. The cult classic Zombie a.k.a. Zombi 2 would come out only one year before this epic crime flick and titles like The Beyond, Gates Of Hell and New York Ripper were right around the corner.
Fabio Testi (What Have You Done To Solange?) takes on the main role as Luca, a member of an Italian mafia family who has a vendetta against rival crime lords who killed his brother. Ajita Wilson (Sadomania, Hell Penitentiary) also shows up as a prostitute and shows a bit of tit as usual. Fulci himself also appears in a much appreciated cameo as a machine gun wielding psycho who blows away the enemy and leaves a bloody mess as well.
Contraband is probably my favorite of all Italian crime flicks and is on the top of the recommendation list as far as I'm concerned. Gore galore!
House That Screamed (1969)
While watching this for the first time I kept thinking to myself, this thing has to be made for television. It's as soft as can be and the violence is to a bare minimal. The whole thing takes place in a boarding school for girls but there isn't any nudity. The girls even wear clothes in the shower scenes. Then I realized that this thing is widescreen, so there is no way that it was made for t.v. back in 1962 but it apparently was a big t.v. movie in Spain.
As I mentioned the movie takes place in a school for girls and it offers the perfect setting for a nasty Euro-Trash flick. We have the sadistic teachers, a pervy teenage boy who spies on the girls while bathing and there is even whippings for punishment. The problem is that is just done with to much class and we all know that class equals a boring movie... Why would you even make a movie like this and not bare any flesh or at least cash in on the sex and violence. Well I suppose this is why The House That Screamed is the perfect candidate for television. This is also why I completely despise the movie.
It did a good job as far as cinematography, lighting, setting and wardrobe goes because it is an effective period piece. It is sort of a clash between the Hammer Studios, Gothic horror and an Italian giallo with elements of a women in prison movie. We have a straight razor killer running around but he only kills two people on screen. Then we have a Pieces style ending when we learn that the killer is putting together his dream girl with the best body parts from each girl. The ending is stupid and the whole movie is a giant waste of time. Some how this thing got great reviews but for me this house just had me screaming for the end credits. Boring!
As I mentioned the movie takes place in a school for girls and it offers the perfect setting for a nasty Euro-Trash flick. We have the sadistic teachers, a pervy teenage boy who spies on the girls while bathing and there is even whippings for punishment. The problem is that is just done with to much class and we all know that class equals a boring movie... Why would you even make a movie like this and not bare any flesh or at least cash in on the sex and violence. Well I suppose this is why The House That Screamed is the perfect candidate for television. This is also why I completely despise the movie.
It did a good job as far as cinematography, lighting, setting and wardrobe goes because it is an effective period piece. It is sort of a clash between the Hammer Studios, Gothic horror and an Italian giallo with elements of a women in prison movie. We have a straight razor killer running around but he only kills two people on screen. Then we have a Pieces style ending when we learn that the killer is putting together his dream girl with the best body parts from each girl. The ending is stupid and the whole movie is a giant waste of time. Some how this thing got great reviews but for me this house just had me screaming for the end credits. Boring!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Official Halloween Parody (2011)
Zero Tolerance releases yet another crappy horror-porn parody. Unlike the terrible Official Friday The 13th Parody this one offers up a few laughs, mainly from actor James Bartholet (Saw : A Hardcore Parody) who plays Dr. Loomis this time.
This parody would be completely unwatchable if it wasn't for Bartholet. His portrayal of Loomis is childish but extremely funny. Bartholet seems to be the only one who did his homework here and he doesn't do a horrible job impersonating Donald Pleasance. If only the rest of the cast and crew showed the slightest bit of interest we might have had a decent movie here.
This XXX parody was misleading with an opening that was pretty true to the 1978 original. With the steady-cam lurking around outside the windows while a young, unsupervised couple make-out on the couch. This is a porno so of course it goes into a hardcore sex scene and then the Michael Myers character picks up the clown mask and a kitchen knife and slashes his sister up. From here on the movie really goes downhill with inadequate direction and enough continuity to choke a Troma Studios member. They had a real hard time with the day for night and night for day on this one. After a while it almost seems to be done purposely.
The Official Halloween Parody offers up some loony-bin mayhem in a scene where a female patient flashes her vagina and pretends to be masturbating a penis while screaming "Where's my penis?". We get lots of genital grabbing from Dr. Loomis and repetitive yet comedic talk of "The Evil" that is Michael Myers, Anal sex, a tid bit of blood, a nympho nurse, some gun violence, and an obnoxious amount of dirty talk.
Not quite as bad as the average Zero Tolerance horror-porn but not very good either. Only worth watching for a few cheap laughs.
This parody would be completely unwatchable if it wasn't for Bartholet. His portrayal of Loomis is childish but extremely funny. Bartholet seems to be the only one who did his homework here and he doesn't do a horrible job impersonating Donald Pleasance. If only the rest of the cast and crew showed the slightest bit of interest we might have had a decent movie here.
This XXX parody was misleading with an opening that was pretty true to the 1978 original. With the steady-cam lurking around outside the windows while a young, unsupervised couple make-out on the couch. This is a porno so of course it goes into a hardcore sex scene and then the Michael Myers character picks up the clown mask and a kitchen knife and slashes his sister up. From here on the movie really goes downhill with inadequate direction and enough continuity to choke a Troma Studios member. They had a real hard time with the day for night and night for day on this one. After a while it almost seems to be done purposely.
The Official Halloween Parody offers up some loony-bin mayhem in a scene where a female patient flashes her vagina and pretends to be masturbating a penis while screaming "Where's my penis?". We get lots of genital grabbing from Dr. Loomis and repetitive yet comedic talk of "The Evil" that is Michael Myers, Anal sex, a tid bit of blood, a nympho nurse, some gun violence, and an obnoxious amount of dirty talk.
Not quite as bad as the average Zero Tolerance horror-porn but not very good either. Only worth watching for a few cheap laughs.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Keep My Grave Open (1976)
S.F. Brownring, the director of the great loony-bin flick Don't Look In The Basement goes on to do Keep My Grave Open. Also known as The House Where Hell Froze Over... Well you can call it whatever you want but I call it a piece of shit. Somehow this movie has good reviews but for the life of me I can't understand how because its just plain boring. We get a few slash-em-up scenes but the gore is as limited as can be and the weapon of choice is a sword which is kind of lame. Keep My Grave Open offers a body count of five but none of the deaths are interesting. There is no nudity to be found either and the whole thing is just a big sleeper.
The movie follows a mentally disturbed woman who believes her brother is her lover and is living with her. Her delusions become dangerous when she starts dressing up like her brother. She is sort of a reverse Norman Bates. The doctor in the film would probably be rememberd by most as the Judge in Don't Look In The Basement. "Use the axe judge! Use it! Strike down Judge! Again Judge! Once more!" He also appeared naked in the shower scene in The Goonies. Gene Ross also has a few other interesting credits to his name but he couldn't save this one. S.F. Brownring should have done us all a favor and just did a sequel to Don't Look In The Basement.
The movie follows a mentally disturbed woman who believes her brother is her lover and is living with her. Her delusions become dangerous when she starts dressing up like her brother. She is sort of a reverse Norman Bates. The doctor in the film would probably be rememberd by most as the Judge in Don't Look In The Basement. "Use the axe judge! Use it! Strike down Judge! Again Judge! Once more!" He also appeared naked in the shower scene in The Goonies. Gene Ross also has a few other interesting credits to his name but he couldn't save this one. S.F. Brownring should have done us all a favor and just did a sequel to Don't Look In The Basement.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
This brand new take on the 80's actionsploitation movies was more of a comic book flick then a throwback to the ultra-cheesy, ultra-violent, explosive 80's action flicks. It plays like a cross between The Toxic Avenger and Street Trash and of course it has the modern homage touch to it that is seen in movies like Machete and my personal favorite of the lot Black Dynamite.
Rutger Hauer plays our anti-hero hobo who ends up in "Scum Town". Pimps, punks, junkies, hookers, rapists and murderers rule the streets and our hobo decides he is going to clean all the scum off the sidewalks in true Travis Bickle fashion. Hauer blows the street-scum away one by one and leaves a bloody fucking mess where ever he goes.
Hobo With A Shotgun is a modern splatter film. Its stupid and it never takes its self serious but with this in mind the level of gore should keep the average splat-hound satisfied. Even though Hobo is a complete mind-numbing trip of senseless violence I salute the lighting department. The lighting in this movie is so plush it is bound to give Dario Argento a hard on. The bright funky colors really help give the movie a comic book feel to it and in my opinion it gives this thing its character, more so then the rivers of blood.
Some of the highlights that Hobo has to offer is sever dick mutilation, a hookers neck is sawed into leaving her half decapitated. We have J&B chugging, a school bus full of children is torched by a madman with a flame thrower, multiple decapitations, ice skates embedded into skulls (Halloween H2O style), Head explosions, shopping-kart-fu, Shotgun-Fu, dead cops, hangings, violent street punks (complete with nifty hairdo's), a child molesting Santa Clause, naked women bathing in blood, bikini babe bathing in blood, hobo's bathing in blood, etc.
Fans of Troma movies should really be the main audience for this thing. Its doesn't want to be taken serious and its just pure gory mayhem.
Rutger Hauer plays our anti-hero hobo who ends up in "Scum Town". Pimps, punks, junkies, hookers, rapists and murderers rule the streets and our hobo decides he is going to clean all the scum off the sidewalks in true Travis Bickle fashion. Hauer blows the street-scum away one by one and leaves a bloody fucking mess where ever he goes.
Hobo With A Shotgun is a modern splatter film. Its stupid and it never takes its self serious but with this in mind the level of gore should keep the average splat-hound satisfied. Even though Hobo is a complete mind-numbing trip of senseless violence I salute the lighting department. The lighting in this movie is so plush it is bound to give Dario Argento a hard on. The bright funky colors really help give the movie a comic book feel to it and in my opinion it gives this thing its character, more so then the rivers of blood.
Some of the highlights that Hobo has to offer is sever dick mutilation, a hookers neck is sawed into leaving her half decapitated. We have J&B chugging, a school bus full of children is torched by a madman with a flame thrower, multiple decapitations, ice skates embedded into skulls (Halloween H2O style), Head explosions, shopping-kart-fu, Shotgun-Fu, dead cops, hangings, violent street punks (complete with nifty hairdo's), a child molesting Santa Clause, naked women bathing in blood, bikini babe bathing in blood, hobo's bathing in blood, etc.
Fans of Troma movies should really be the main audience for this thing. Its doesn't want to be taken serious and its just pure gory mayhem.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Shadow Dead Riot (2006)
Take Riki-Oh : The Story Of Ricky and turn it into a women in prison movie instead. Then throw in Tony Todd from the Candyman movies and a bunch of zombies and you have Shadow Dead Riot.
Carla Greene who has only done a bunch of boring t.v. crap and dramatic nonsense plays Solitaire. A sexy little piece of brown sugar who is about to turn a women's prison upside down with kung fu ass-kickings and sexy sports-bra-fu. A evil force is released when the man who killed her mother (Tony Todd) comes back from the dead and brings a army of flesh eating corpses with him. Solitaire and the other female inmates fight for their lives against the zombies and their master.
Shadow Dead Riot offers up all of the nudity and lesbian scenes that is necessary for a women in prison movie. With shower scenes and cat-fights. We even get the wicked lesbo guard named Elsa Throrne... Anybody see a Ilsa She Wolf Of The S.S. and Dyanne Thorne homage there? Well Elsa looks alright in her lesbian shower scenes but she is a damn awful actress.
Shock-O-Rama's nudie-queen Misty Mundae shows up as the weak girl who has to wash the back of a bad-ass bitch with more muscles then Schwarzenegger in his prime, named Mondo. Misty does what she is known for and bares it all, breasts & bush. She eventually becomes a zombie and I suppose gets some sort of a revenge on the ones who made her time a living hell.
Shadow also offers up a scene where a zombie is impaled on a stake in a scene that must have been influenced by Cannibal Holocaust. Some crazy flying kung fu action, lots of fucking gore, a graphic child birth (complete with baby abduction by zombies), a pervy doctor, multiple head explosions, full body explosions, dead cops, and zombie baby that is reminiscent of the baby in Combat Shock. This baby has a serious appetite for junkies faces. If this little guy and the zombie baby from Dead Alive got together, I don't think any force in the world could stop them.
There are a couple of flaws in the movie. The first being that its got to much shitty c.g.i. in it and the second being that its shot on video. Other then that Shadow Dead Riot is a modern kick back to the good ole exploitation days and genre clashing is not a problem here. Its pure madness and a shitload of fun at the same time.
Carla Greene who has only done a bunch of boring t.v. crap and dramatic nonsense plays Solitaire. A sexy little piece of brown sugar who is about to turn a women's prison upside down with kung fu ass-kickings and sexy sports-bra-fu. A evil force is released when the man who killed her mother (Tony Todd) comes back from the dead and brings a army of flesh eating corpses with him. Solitaire and the other female inmates fight for their lives against the zombies and their master.
Shadow Dead Riot offers up all of the nudity and lesbian scenes that is necessary for a women in prison movie. With shower scenes and cat-fights. We even get the wicked lesbo guard named Elsa Throrne... Anybody see a Ilsa She Wolf Of The S.S. and Dyanne Thorne homage there? Well Elsa looks alright in her lesbian shower scenes but she is a damn awful actress.
Shock-O-Rama's nudie-queen Misty Mundae shows up as the weak girl who has to wash the back of a bad-ass bitch with more muscles then Schwarzenegger in his prime, named Mondo. Misty does what she is known for and bares it all, breasts & bush. She eventually becomes a zombie and I suppose gets some sort of a revenge on the ones who made her time a living hell.
Shadow also offers up a scene where a zombie is impaled on a stake in a scene that must have been influenced by Cannibal Holocaust. Some crazy flying kung fu action, lots of fucking gore, a graphic child birth (complete with baby abduction by zombies), a pervy doctor, multiple head explosions, full body explosions, dead cops, and zombie baby that is reminiscent of the baby in Combat Shock. This baby has a serious appetite for junkies faces. If this little guy and the zombie baby from Dead Alive got together, I don't think any force in the world could stop them.
There are a couple of flaws in the movie. The first being that its got to much shitty c.g.i. in it and the second being that its shot on video. Other then that Shadow Dead Riot is a modern kick back to the good ole exploitation days and genre clashing is not a problem here. Its pure madness and a shitload of fun at the same time.
Someone's Watching Me! (1978)
John Carpenter is thought of by most to be a master in the horror genre. Remembered for movies like Halloween, The Fog and The Thing but right from the beginning his work would reach cult status with movies like Assault On Precinct 13. Well this one has gone pretty much unnoticed by the world unless of course you were watching it on t.v. in 1978 when it came out. Yes it's a made for t.v. movie and yes its pretty soft but it was the directors first crack at horror with a feature film and Carpenter himself claims that Someone's Watching Me set the mood and feeling for his most talked about film Halloween which would come out later the same year.
Lauren Hutton who would go on to do the ridiculously cheesy 80's vampire flick Once Bitten is casted as the victim of a sick and twisted stalker. She is terrorized throughout the film by a man who seems to always know where she is. The stalker is not seen through the majority of the movie and it really helps build the suspense.
Scream Queen Adrienne Barbeau also appears in the movie as a lesbian with a tough side. Unfortunately Hutton and Barbeau don't hook up and do the nasty but then again it is a t.v. movie and there isn't any nudity to be seen at all.
In my opinion Someone's Watching Me! steals greatly from Alfred Hitchcock. One would have to be blind to not see the countless comparisons. Its mainly a Rear Window ripoff but there are elements of other Hitchcock greats as well such as Vertigo. Even the opening credits plays like a low budget version of North By Northwest. Hitchcock ripoff or not, I still found it to be a decent time passer and Carpenter shows his talent in this early television flick. If only there were some bare breasts and a bit of blood this thing would probably have a bigger fan base. Worth a watch for all Carpenter fans.
Lauren Hutton who would go on to do the ridiculously cheesy 80's vampire flick Once Bitten is casted as the victim of a sick and twisted stalker. She is terrorized throughout the film by a man who seems to always know where she is. The stalker is not seen through the majority of the movie and it really helps build the suspense.
Scream Queen Adrienne Barbeau also appears in the movie as a lesbian with a tough side. Unfortunately Hutton and Barbeau don't hook up and do the nasty but then again it is a t.v. movie and there isn't any nudity to be seen at all.
In my opinion Someone's Watching Me! steals greatly from Alfred Hitchcock. One would have to be blind to not see the countless comparisons. Its mainly a Rear Window ripoff but there are elements of other Hitchcock greats as well such as Vertigo. Even the opening credits plays like a low budget version of North By Northwest. Hitchcock ripoff or not, I still found it to be a decent time passer and Carpenter shows his talent in this early television flick. If only there were some bare breasts and a bit of blood this thing would probably have a bigger fan base. Worth a watch for all Carpenter fans.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
White Lightnin (2009)
If Gummo made sense and followed some sort of a story, it would probably have ended up being a lot like White Lightnin. Mix in elements of Charles Manson and a gritty rockabilly soundtrack and you would definitely have White Lightnin. The truth is this movie is exactly what I have been waiting for. Its a modern film but its a old style of film making that is seldom seen today. White Lightnin holds no punches and doesn't care who it offends, which is good because it is bound to offend a lot of people. With that said I truly believe that a new cult classic is born.
White Lightnin is based on the real life Jesco White The Dancin Outlaw. The film portrays Jesco as a man with a corrupted mind from birth. By age six he is huffing gasoline and lighter fluid. Huffing is young Jesco's drug of choice but he is willing to try just about anything to get himself fucked up. When he's fucked up the devil flows through his blood and just about anything can happen. Young Jesco spends most of his youth in and out of institutions, asylums and homes for boys. Its behind these walls that Jesco learns to fight back. One can't help but be reminded of Charles Manson which makes sense because the real Jesco White is a big Manson advocate. He even rocks a Charlie tattoo and doesn't mind showing it off. Jesco's life takes another turn when his father D. Ray White is brutally murdered. Jesco follows in his fathers footsteps, earning himself his Dancin Outlaw title but can't keep the evil in his mind and blood at bay. From here on we witness a darker, meaner and shakier road into depression, anger, vengeance, faith and insanity.
There is no doubt about it, White Lightnin is my favorite movie to come out in a long time. Its has proven to me that there is still a chance for modern cinema. Just when I was starting to believe the only entertaining movies that would ever be released again would be homage flicks like Black Dynamite and Machete. Well White Lightinin proved me wrong. Check it out for a trip into madness with a bad-ass sountrack that consist of Hasil Adkins and Stringbean. We also have plenty of brain damaging inhalants and a bit of violence for all you sadists. A must see white-trash spectacle.
White Lightnin is based on the real life Jesco White The Dancin Outlaw. The film portrays Jesco as a man with a corrupted mind from birth. By age six he is huffing gasoline and lighter fluid. Huffing is young Jesco's drug of choice but he is willing to try just about anything to get himself fucked up. When he's fucked up the devil flows through his blood and just about anything can happen. Young Jesco spends most of his youth in and out of institutions, asylums and homes for boys. Its behind these walls that Jesco learns to fight back. One can't help but be reminded of Charles Manson which makes sense because the real Jesco White is a big Manson advocate. He even rocks a Charlie tattoo and doesn't mind showing it off. Jesco's life takes another turn when his father D. Ray White is brutally murdered. Jesco follows in his fathers footsteps, earning himself his Dancin Outlaw title but can't keep the evil in his mind and blood at bay. From here on we witness a darker, meaner and shakier road into depression, anger, vengeance, faith and insanity.
There is no doubt about it, White Lightnin is my favorite movie to come out in a long time. Its has proven to me that there is still a chance for modern cinema. Just when I was starting to believe the only entertaining movies that would ever be released again would be homage flicks like Black Dynamite and Machete. Well White Lightinin proved me wrong. Check it out for a trip into madness with a bad-ass sountrack that consist of Hasil Adkins and Stringbean. We also have plenty of brain damaging inhalants and a bit of violence for all you sadists. A must see white-trash spectacle.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Silk Satin And Sex (1983)
The only thing this piece of trash has going for it is Vanessa Del Rio and she doesn't do anything to crazy except maybe some repetitive dirty talk. "Get my pussy open". A group of girls working for a lingerie company share their stories of how they met their husbands and I have to admit none of them are interesting. This one is entirely to sensitive for its own good. I was surprised when I found out that it was directed by a man because it is just trying so hard to be romantic. Well romance and classic porn don't mix as far as I'm concerned. Pornographic comedies are fine, drama's are okay, horror-porn is cool and the nasty rape ones are the best but romance... I don't think so.
Mai Lin (Prisoner Of Paradise, All The Way In) who I am also a fan of also shares her story of how she met the love of her life with another uninteresting flashback scene. I suppose the best scene in the film is the last one where we get an orgy with Del Rio and a few drunks. For a much better and much more trashy time check out Bizarre Styles which also stars Vanessa and has a very similar plot, except it holds back on all the lovey-dovey crap. Instead it offers up golden showers and fisting... Now that's exciting and filthy at the same time.
Mai Lin (Prisoner Of Paradise, All The Way In) who I am also a fan of also shares her story of how she met the love of her life with another uninteresting flashback scene. I suppose the best scene in the film is the last one where we get an orgy with Del Rio and a few drunks. For a much better and much more trashy time check out Bizarre Styles which also stars Vanessa and has a very similar plot, except it holds back on all the lovey-dovey crap. Instead it offers up golden showers and fisting... Now that's exciting and filthy at the same time.
Shogun Assassin (1980)
Shogun Assassin is the reedited footage from two 70's samurai flicks in the Lone Wolf And Cub series. Basically all the weird, gory, and sleazy scenes were chopped into 85 minute spectacle of violence and it was done brilliantly.
For those unfamiliar with the Lone Wolf And Cub movies it is about a father and son who walk the path of vengeance. Shogun Assassin is dubbed over in English and though the stories are totally altered Shogun comes off way more entertaining and fast paced.
The story is told by a child who's father was a executioner for the Shogun. "My father was famous. He was the greatest Samurai in the empire, and he was the Shogun's decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 lords." When the executioner's wife is murdered by the Shogun he makes a vow to make the Shogun and all of his Ninja "Pay in rivers of blood" and blood letting there is. People are chopped in half, decapitated and dismembered in any and every way possible. Ears are chopped off, fingers are chopped off, arms & legs (leaving rolling torsos), blades are shoved through throats (complete with bright red Japanese style, spraying blood), one guy uses a claw as a weapon of choice and buries it deep into enemies skulls, another uses a spiked club for some achy-breaky skull action, another uses gloves with nails on it and puts on a nice face-smashing show. The young child (who can't be any older then 5) takes part in the violent, vengeful, warpath. The kid has quite the arsenal of knives and swords and uses the gadgets to chop the feet off of the enemies. The kid also punches some bare breasts in one of the weirder scenes in the movie. The final battle is pretty amazing and has some amazing memorable lines. My personal favorite line in the film takes place on the 2nd to last murder in the film. Be sure to look for it "Its ridiculous".
Anyone who likes over the top violent cinema needs to check this one out. Its a bloodbath filled to the brim with spraying red stuff.
For those unfamiliar with the Lone Wolf And Cub movies it is about a father and son who walk the path of vengeance. Shogun Assassin is dubbed over in English and though the stories are totally altered Shogun comes off way more entertaining and fast paced.
The story is told by a child who's father was a executioner for the Shogun. "My father was famous. He was the greatest Samurai in the empire, and he was the Shogun's decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 lords." When the executioner's wife is murdered by the Shogun he makes a vow to make the Shogun and all of his Ninja "Pay in rivers of blood" and blood letting there is. People are chopped in half, decapitated and dismembered in any and every way possible. Ears are chopped off, fingers are chopped off, arms & legs (leaving rolling torsos), blades are shoved through throats (complete with bright red Japanese style, spraying blood), one guy uses a claw as a weapon of choice and buries it deep into enemies skulls, another uses a spiked club for some achy-breaky skull action, another uses gloves with nails on it and puts on a nice face-smashing show. The young child (who can't be any older then 5) takes part in the violent, vengeful, warpath. The kid has quite the arsenal of knives and swords and uses the gadgets to chop the feet off of the enemies. The kid also punches some bare breasts in one of the weirder scenes in the movie. The final battle is pretty amazing and has some amazing memorable lines. My personal favorite line in the film takes place on the 2nd to last murder in the film. Be sure to look for it "Its ridiculous".
Anyone who likes over the top violent cinema needs to check this one out. Its a bloodbath filled to the brim with spraying red stuff.
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