Rope (1948)

Alfred Hitchcock takes on the film that was based on a real life murder with style and talent. Rope was shot in 10 takes and the cuts are hidden as the camera passes by dark objects in the room and yes the movie pretty much all takes place in one room. Rope is a full length feature but it is supposed to take place in real time hence the lack of cutting.

With a very limited cast and a film that takes place almost entirely in one room Hitchcock manages to complete a true masterpiece.

Two rich yuppies murder their friend and classmate by strangulation with a old rope. They then stick the body in a chest and throw a yuppi-fied party with the friends and family of the deceased. The two boys waste no time sharing their views on murder which are almost plagiarized from the superior mind of their teacher (James Stewart). "After all, murder is - or should be - an art. Not one of the 'seven lively', perhaps, but an art nevertheless. And, as such, the privilege of committing it should be reserved for those few who are really superior individuals." The three go on long philosophical rants about murder and those who have the natural born "right" to take "inferior" lives but the two murderers start to loose their cool as the minutes run past.

Rope is one of Hitchcocks best and interesting. It certainly is unique. The combination of  the plot and originality make Rope a must see for everyone and anyone. That is with the exception of the "inferiors" who shall be properly disposed of.

North By Northwest (1959)

Hitchcock's North By Northwest stars Cary Grant a man who is through running for his life. There is a price on his head from some rough characters who think he is a secret FBI agent. He teams up with a pretty blond and together they fight against the dangerous men who want him dead. Things get really crazy when Grant learns that his pretty blond girlfriend isn't who she says she is.

Is she with the enemy? Is she with the FBI? Or is she just a loose broad who has a bad choice in men? North By Northwest is full of twists and turns and keeps the audience tense and guessing through the majority of the film. The perfectly framed images helps add tension and anxiety to the film and the story by Ernest Leham (West Side Story) is relentless.

The most memorable scene shows Grant running from a plane in the desert while the pilot opens fire on him with a machine gun. We also get the lovey-dovey stuff which keeps the action from being repetitive. We get fist fights, stabbings, gun-violence, and a awesome final sequence on Mount Rushmore which leads to a few characters falling to their death from Washington's big head and my personal favorite scene shows Cary Grant being force fed a bottle of Bourbon. Next he is driving drunk on the run from his killers as he swerves around sharp turns at the edge of a cliff.

We also have some humor thrown in for some extra fun and we really get to see some of Hitchcock's warped humor in random oddball scenes that I'm sure were not in the original story. There is also some strong sexual reference thrown in which is a little risky for a film in 1959. One scene shows Grant strip off his suit and he says to the girl "What can a man do with no clothes on in twenty minutes".

Personally I like many of Hitchcock's titles more then this one. Films like Psycho, Rope, Vertigo, Frenzy and The Birds but North By Northwest is still another example of the mans genius. Its the perfect movie to watch with a date. Not the best of picks to entertain friends with but if the crowd is right North By Northwest will set the proper mood.

Night Of The Giving Head (2008)

Night Of The Giving Head is a all around retarded spoof on the the classic 1968 George A. Romero flesh eating zombie flick. This one opens up with a guy and girl in in a cemetery having a argument. No their names are not Barbara and Johnny. However the argument comes to a end when a topless, staggering ghoul approaches them. The nudie ghoul groans "More cock! More cum!" over and over again and its not long before she is sucking the pants off of the (should be) Johnny character.

Apparently men's seamen is tainted and the "Sperm-a-raise" with in the man goop is turning nubile women into cock & cum hungry nympho sluts. Once a man ejaculates, he dies but the zombie sluts stagger on, looking for more fresh meat.

Night Of The Giving Head is so stupid that its even hard for a brain-dead horror/trash junkie like myself to like it. Sure it offers up a couple of sexy sluts and a nice sex scene here and there (my favorite consists of a lesbian, zombie, strap-on scene) but it really is more of a novelty title. After all the only reason I picked it up was due to the title. I don't care about the toolbox film makers involved, that's for sure.

If this one doesn't sound dumb enough already just try to make it to the films final when the bimbo hero's learn that whipped cream is the solution to the cock and cum sucking zombie epidemic. We have the privilege of watch countless zombie bitches suck down whipped cream. Dumb! Night Of The Giving Head also offers up some decaying flesh, a cheesy goth girl, a giant zombie orgy, nut busting action and some fat zombie bitches who clearly do not belong in this movie. Only watch this one if there is nothing left in the classic section at your local porn store.

Deep Throat (1972)

Deep Throat, the king of porn never gets old. Especially when you throw some friends and beer into the mix. Linda Lovelace plays... well Linda. A girl with no clitoris. Well at least not where it belongs. Nope, Linda's clit is in the back of her throat and for this reason she has never had an orgasm. This is until she goes to Dr. Young played by the pornograpghic comedian Harry Reems. Harry teaches Linda the art of Deep Throat and with the help of the brilliant theme song, Linda is a pro. before long.

Once Linda learns the secrets of Deep Throat and reaches her long awaited climax, she goes to work for Dr. Young as a scantily clad nurse who is of course more of a call girl. She See's a man in some shiny panties who puts tubes in her vagina and drinks cahampagne from her gaping hole. She also sucks and fucks Dr. Young raw. "No! No! I can never marry you Linda. How much of this Deep Throat do you think I can take?" With Dr. Young's refusal of marriage Linda searches for the perfect husband and he has to be at least eight inches long. Well she eventually does find mister right. He just so happens to be a rapist named Wilber Wang and he has all the right parts to hit Linda's "Tinglier".

Deep Throat is a true classic from Gerard Damiano, the same genius who directed The Devil In Miss Jones. Devil and Throat may be the two movies that Damiano will forever be remembered by and its pretty amazing how completely far from each other (aside from the sex) the two films really are. Where The Devil In Miss Jones is a total downer of a movie, opening with a suicide and ending in a eternity of hell, Deep Throat is pure fun from beginning to end. From the off the wall soundtrack to the awful acting. Deep Throat never loses its touch.

Dutiful But Dumb (1941)

Moe, Larry & Curly play three photographers Click, Clack & Cluck and Whack Magazine sends the three morons on a new assignment in Vulgaria. The only problem is taking pictures in Vulgaria is punished by death. When the Three Stooges end up on the firing line they escape their execution and head for the local bar.

In one of the funniest bits Curly or Cluck gets pretty drunk and has a battle with his oyster soup, all the while wearing a silly hat and an even more silly grin. The bowl of oyster soup seems to be winning the fight until Curly/Cluck goes completely ape and shoots the place up.
We also get a scene where Cluck wears a big crash symbol on his head and plays some very interesting music, while using the walls as a drum stick.

Check it out for some mind numbing, brain smashing good times with Curly. He clearly owns this short.

Mom And Dad (1945)

Exploiteer Kroger Babb dreamed this one up and created the ultimate in sex hygiene sexploits. Mom And Dad was his baby and he promoted it like a circus attraction. His crew would travel from town to town and plaster the movie posters on anything they could find.

The posters themselves were guaranteed to attract any youngster who walked passed, with separate screenings for boys and girls. Some posters insisted that parents take their children to see the film but of course most parents were shocked and appalled that such pictures were coming to their neighborhood. The church tried to ban the film from playing and all across the country god fearing assholes protested its very existence. Naturally this only adds to the hype and controversy around a film and in the world of exploitation, what more could a film maker ask for? In many towns, once the movie screened it would be interrupted at a certain point and sex hygiene books would be passed out to the audience... That is for a price of course.

Word gets around in a small town and Mom And Dad especially appealed to the youth with the rumors of full frontal male and female nudity. I suppose in 1947 this kind of thing was on every teenagers mind but very few have seen the opposite sex in the nude. Well Mom And Dad offered this... At a price that is. If the kids wanted to play they had to pay in more then one way. First they were forced to sit through the sappy story of June, a teenage girl who got in a bit of "trouble" you see naive June fell for a older boy with some smooth-talkin and nice eyes. Well its not long before June is in the back seat of lover-boys car and she finds herself knocked up... Or in "trouble". Throughout the whole film, the word pregnant is not used once. It is substituted with the word trouble and it really makes no sense because in the later portion of the film we do get the full male/female nudity but we also get a explicit child birth with gore pouring all over the place. We also get a very disturbing cesarean section, surgery scene and I have to admit I cringe every time I see it. Last but not least we have the venereal disease footage and this segment is pretty disturbing as well. We see cripples, holes in the roof of the mouth, holes in the eyes, rotten feet, visible bones protruding through flesh, V.D. infected genitals (male & female), and we even get silly 40's diagrams showing the spread of Syphilis.

Many consider Mom And Dad the most successful exploitation film of all time and it is a must see for anyone interested in the alternative to Hollywood films. Don't listen to those "self styled moralists" and church goers... and don't miss Mom And Dad when it comes to your town.

Blue Heat (1978)

This one takes the classic movie within a movie and puts a whole new pornographic twist on it, when a porno production team is tracked down by the mafia. The first half of the film doesn't work very well at all because we see various stages of film making and the problems that amaturs come across in the process. We see editing, camera angles and lots of discussion on audio complications. Its a bit hard not to laugh when the actors are stumbling on lines and background noises interfere with dialogue. Especially in one scene in a editing room where the editor is upset and requests the film be dubbed over due to squeaky couch noises. If only a squeaky couch was the issue at hand on this one.

I found the second half of the film more interesting when I realized that Blue Heat was basically a message dealing with the struggle of film makers in the adult industry in the 70's. Its no secret that the mob had their hands in the pockets of the so called artists and by the end of Blue Heat, the film almost comes off as a cry for help. There is no escape from the dangerous mobsters in the film and I suppose this is how some of the casts and crews felt back in those days.

Aside from the protest type plot, Blue Heat tries to be funny and there is lots of homage payed to the industry its self. Dorothy Lemay shows up as Annette Slavin (kinda funny) and she gives a pretty decent blowjob scene. This is followed by a strange rape scene involving a massive dildo at the hands of a violent, money hungry mobster. Blue Heat also steals the musical score from Hitchcocks Psycho during a rough-her-up scene and one can't help but laugh. We also have a very odd scene (and I still can't really tell if it was supposed to be funny or not). It shows a couple in bed discussing their fear of the mafia. Then the girl pulls the sheets up and we see a stuffed animal head peaking out from the sheets. The couple start screaming as if it was a decapitated pet of theirs. I really hope this scene was supposed to be funny because its just reidiculous.


Not the best of 70's porns but definitely not the worst either. Worth a look for all the nostalgia nerds out there who are interested in the dark side of 70's adult cinema.

Bizarre Moods (1982)

The description on the back of the DVD that I picked up reads "Vanessa licks her boyfriends ass and fucks it with a dildo while she sucks his dick in one of her wettest and sleaziest films!". After reading this I figured that Bizarre Moods was going to be a short stag film without a plot. Well it turns out to be a 54 min. feature and although there is barely a story, the film does try to tell a tale about magic rings. Not cock-rings... regular rings. Gloria Leonard gets a piece of paper in the mail that says "soak me" and Gloria immediately places the paper under a running faucet and the paper magically turns into rings. Once she puts the rings on her fingers she becomes a total nympho-matic, slut in heat. First she sits on the toilet and fills her holes with a double sided dildo and talks dirty to herself. Then she convinces her roommates to try the rings out with this brilliant statement "this will get you really hot". Gloria and her roommates have a interracial threesome and as the audience we have no choice but to believe these rings really work because we just watched the two roommates have some crazy cream-pie anal sex and now they are ready to go again.

Vanessa Del Rio does show up in this movie and its not long before she is wearing the rings and acting out the filthy description on the back of the DVD but my personal favorite scene in the movie shows a married couple in a hotel room in New York. The man rips off his girls clothes and starts smacking her around. The dialogue is amazing in this scene. "I didn't come to New York to fuck around. I want some of this Deep Throat we been hearing about. Suck my dick bitch". Then he rams his member down her throat and starts whipping her with his belt. The actress jumps up, lets out a scream while holding her face and says "You hit me in the eye" Then the film cuts to a close up of her bloody eye. The fucking guy actually did get her in the eye and the film maker had enough class to exploit it and keep rolling. I wish I could give the director credit but nobody seems to know where this one came from. With no director credited I'd like to think of it as a movie from mars. To make this thing even one step weirder, Bizarre Moods sports Pink Floyd on the soundtracks and although I have never been much of a fan of these guys, I can appreciate their music a whole lot more when its playing over a nasty ass-fuck scene.

The truth is Bizarre Moods isn't a very good movie but the mix of Vanessa's ass-play, eyeball beatings and Pink Floyd keep it weird and entertaining enough for at least one viewing.

Bizarre Styles (1981)

Here's another filthy one from the director who gave us Punk Rock and Teenage Twins. Although this one really lacks in the story department, with a almost nonexistent plot about a group of girls who run a fashion show. Bizarre Styles makes up for it with sheer filth and cinematic smut.

We get three disgusting scenes which leaves Bizarre Styles on the mind after viewing. One shows Annie Sprinkle in a threesome and a fist way up in her messy box. Then we have a S&M bitch pissing in the mouth of some leather-clad "little worm". She tells him hes a dirty boy and he needs a shower and then the golden starts to spill. Next she steps on his penis with some high heels and whips his ass as he performs some oral sex on her pissy hole. Next we have a rather harsh bondage scene that shows a British blond bimbo strung up on the rack. She's wearing nipple clamps and is being whipped. She screams and cries through the whole scene and it eventually leads up to some ass-ramming, anal action.

Other then these three important ultra trashy scenes we get a hot tub sex scene with Vanessa Del Rio and some hairy dude. We also get a lesbian threesome with Rio, Sprinkle and some other junkie looking chick. I also learned that girls like men with hairy chests and long nipples from an intelligent conversation between Rio and Sprinkle. Oh and did you know that girls where lipstick on their nipples? Well its a fact. I seen it in Bizarre Styles. They also wear it on their clit. It comes in different flavors but Annie Sprinkles prefers "Cunt Sucking Cranberry". She has room for fists, lipsticks, dicks, tongues and more.

Misery (1990)

"Eat it till you choke on it, you sick twisted fuck!" is what Paul Sheldon tells Annie Wilkes as he shoves burning pages of his book into her mouth in the big climax. This really is a light revenge after what she has put him through.

Kathy Bates plays Annie Wilkes, one of my favorite female psychopaths of all time. She saves Paul Sheldon (James Caan) from freezing to death in a car wreck and brings his shattered body back to her house in the middle of nowhere. "I am your number one fan" is the first words we hear come from her mouth as Paul Sheldon comes to consciousness. Paul Sheldon's character is supposed to be a famous writer, who shits out sappy love stories for morons like Annie Wilkes. Its not long before Paul finds out how much of a fan Mrs. Wilkes really is. This is one nutty bitch and her dangerous side slowly starts revealing more and more as Paul lay in bed with horribly broken legs.

As the tagline states, Paul Sheldon used to write for a living. Now he's writing to stay alive. Wilkes thinks god is speaking to her and he wants her to guide Sheldon through his greatest novel ever. She makes it clear that when the novel is finished the two of them will die together. I personally would be looking forward to death after the tortures that were dealt out to this man. Not only does he survive a horrible car accident but he has his legs broken again with a sledge hammer, in one of the most disturbing and memorable scenes. The film also offers up some very memorable quotes "You dirty bird". We also get a shot gun blast through the back, gratuitous head smashing, a gun shot to the arm and a big pig named Misery.

Misery is a childhood favorite of mine and it never loses its charm. Some would call it more of a thriller then a horror movie but I thought it was scary as hell as a kid and it still gets my heart pounding today. Misery is a must own for anyone who loves horror movies.

Edge Of Sanity (1989)

Anthony Perkins plays Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde & Jack The Ripper. That's right, Edge Of Sanity mixes the two tales and it comes out as weird as it sounds. The film opens up with a young boy spying on his mother and father having a roll in the hay. The child is supposed to be a young Henry (Perkins) Jekyll. When the fornicating couple catch young Henry spying in on them, they string him up and give him a good beating. This of course leaves Perkins yet again with some serious mommy issues.

Jump forward in time and Dr. Jekyll is a well to do upright citizen. However he has been experimenting with drugs on his own time and he comes up with a concoction that transforms the doctor into a pale faced, violent, sex addict named Hyde... or Jack The Ripper.

Perkins roams the streets at night in true Ripper fashion, slicing and dicing young prostitutes who remind him of his mother.

Its kind of weird seeing Perkins in such a sleazy role because there is quite a bit of nudity and there are also some disturbing scenes, especially one that shows a scalpel to a twitching eye. Perkins plays with a hookers ass, takes part in some weird orgies, slashes throats and watches swinging dicks in a men's shower.


Edge Of Sanity also offers up some nice cinematography and Dario Argento style lighting. The main problem is that it's supposed to be a period piece set in the 1800's but the cast are dressed more like new wave hookers. I don't know who's brilliant idea this was but it really takes away from the film. One of the male characters even wears black eye makeup and the hookers look like Madona in the Like A Virgin era. Edge Of Sanity is worth a watch for anyone who wants to see Perkins in a (almost) Eurotrash role but take fair warning it turns out to be a bit of a mess.

Kung Fu Zombie (1982)

Why do I sit through these crazy fucking Chinese horror flicks? I guess because they really are just crazy. Kung Fu Zombie is annoying, ridiculous and most of the time it doesn't make much sense. Its also more of a comedy then a horror movie but for some reason it still manages to be a keeper. Despite the obnoxiousness to it all. Its pure fast paced mayhem with nonstop Kung Fu action and voodoo-esque madness.

Kung Fu Zombie never gets to gory but it does offer up a decapitation, some flesh munching, blood drinking, some metal-spike-fu, sword-fu and a whole lot of saliva flying from the mouths of various beaten victims. Well okay its obviously a mouth full of water and not saliva but the Chinese have a strong fixation on this effect and it is used to the max in this one and as if there just wasn't enough flying saliva scenes, we get all these Kung Fu scenes where our fighters dump buckets of water over their head. This allows for much more flying spit.

Aside from all the face smashing and drool, Kung Fu Zombies offers up blood drinking Vampires, Chinese style hopping zombies, ghosts and a wizard who tries to keep all the ghouls in line with the use of exorcism and weird spells.

My main problem with this one is how annoying all of the characters are, including the monsters. If the film makers toned down the comedy just a touch this one would probably be a lot more tolerable and would surly have more replay value. Still if Kung Fu Zombie finds its way into your collection of the weird, I'm sure it will be there to stay.

                                                                                                                         

Come With Me My Love (1976)

Like your hardcore XXX with a body count? Here's one for ya... Come With Me My Love opens up with a double murder, suicide. It starts with a sex scene set back in 1925. A man walks in to find his wife sitting on another mans face and blowing him. I guess he isn't the biggest fan of 69 position because he shoots them both dead and then blows his brains out. Jump forward to 1976 and a woman is moving into the apartment where the threesome met their violent end. Little does she know the house is still haunted with the ghost of the killer. This ghost is one hell of a possessive guy because he becomes quite attached to the new girl. He even puts his ex-wife's ring on her finger. Oh, and he also kills off every guy who she sleeps with.

Come With Me My Love also known as Come With Me My Ghost a.k.a The Haunted Pussy and Stay With Me My Love was directed by Sexploitation pioneer Doris Wishman. Despite her lies about never doing a pornographic film, here it is. The director is credited as Luigi Manicottale but it is no other then Mrs. Doris (Nude On The Moon) Wishman. The awful dubbing and odd choice of music kind of proves that its a Doris Wishman flick. Still it proves to be another oddity title from the queen of exploitation. Its a horror/ghost/porno flick and it casts Vanessa Del Rio, Annie Sprinkles, and Robert Kerman from Cannibal Holocaust and Debbie Does Dallas. Come With Me My Love offers up a heavy breathing ghost, a crazy kid who hides behind trees and throws snowballs at porn stars and a body count of 7. Three deaths by gun shot, A man is electrocuted in the bathtub with the old toaster oven trick. Annie Sprinkles catches a knife between her giant jugs, A man is pushed out of a city building window and we get a drug over dose.

What Come With Me Does not offer is a coherent plot line, Which is pretty normal for a Wishman flick. Its pretty much a giant jumble of sex scenes and heavy breathing ghosts. It really had potential to be a great 70's porn flick but falls short with the exhausting porn scenes. Of course its still a million times more interesting then anything that anyone is putting out today. Its just to bad Wishman didn't put a little more effort into it.

A interesting watch for Wishman fans and anyone who is into the most bizarre of classic adult cinema. Everyone else should probably skip it. This thing is available through VCX Video, Something Weird Video and was also released on a double bill with Satan Was A Lady (1975).

Behind The Green Door (1972)

The film that the Mitchell Brothers would never be able to live up to. Its called Behind The Green Door and it truely is a classic in every sense of the word. I can only imagine what was going on in peoples heads as they left the theaters in 1972 or at least those of them who were not spanking off.

The plot is as simple as they come but the depth of camera work and artistic expression goes way beyond. Behind The Green Door tells the tale of Gloria, played by Marilyn Chambers (Rabid) who is abducted and taken to a sort of secret underground swingers club where she will be sodomised on stage in front of a audience which consists of horny deviants.

The movie makes sure to explain that Gloria will not be harmed and will end up remembering nothing more then feeling completely satisfied.

The beauty of the film however does not lie within the plot. Or really within the sex even. Behind The Green Door turns out to be nothing more then a art film with tons of experimental ideas which take place in front and behind the camera. Of course we do have the sexy stuff with scenes of the "Black Stud" played by the awesome leotard wearing, face painted Johnnie Keyes and a wild orgy which displays every kind of taboo from huge naked fat women to chicks with dicks but even most of the sex scenes turn out to be very artsy with outrageously colorful and almost psychedelic cum-shots and we even get a trapeze sex act.

Behind The Green Door is a must see for anyone with any interest in adult cinema from the 70's and I would even go as far as to say for anyone who loves 70's cinema in general. Check it out for a weird time with clowns, sodomy and men diving into vagina's. The film is guaranteed to leave its impression on anyone with half a brain.

Soft Places (1978)

Soft Places is another weird one from the sick and sleazy 70's. Directed by Joanna Williams who did the amazing rape/revenge flick Expensive Taste. This one stars Annette Haven, who is left a widow and has a lot of money coming her way as long as she is willing to follow the instructions that her husband has left for her on a tape recording. "I will not follow instructions from that dead animal" she states in her lawyers office after listening to the wishes of her dead husband. She then goes on to tell how her husband was a mean, violent man without a loving bone in his body.
The tape tells Havens character to masturbate in front of a mirror and learn to love herself. Then to masturbate in front of other men so they can love her too. Then her "Dead animal" of her husband demands she makes love with other women and eventually with another man. Of course Haven gives in and turns out to be quite the nympho.

Soft Places casts some of the ugliest people (aside from Annette Haven of course) in adult history. Many of the actors seem to be junkies or prostitutes taken off the streets. Most of the men can not get it up and looking at the women I can't blame them but what Soft Places does offer is some very strange and of course sleazy happenings. First off we get a sort of Invisible Man homage. There is a sex scene where an Invisible Man (unfortunately not Claude Rains) strips his long jacket and hat. All we see is his penis which obviously is visible and his white gloves. Haven blows the transparent horny fucker and pulls his pud off into a glass of wine and then she slams it down with a face that says... I want more. Then we have a scene where a bearded man sucks a transsexuals dick and eats its ass out. We also get a crazy fight scene in a bar with a pretty amazing stunt for a porno film. Then theres a really silly masturbation scene in a dressing room involving coat hangers and dirty panties. We also get some fat woman loving and last but not least we get one of the strangest forms of necrophilia I have ever seen on film. We get a hardcore XXX fuck scene involving some ashes from a cremated man.
Soft Places might not be the best of 70's smut and I recommend Expensive Taste over it any day but it certainly is a strange one and every scene is unpredictable. Only recommended for hardcore collectors of 70's porn.

Manhattan Baby (1982)

Manhattan Baby is one of Lucio Fulci's worst films and its almost impossible to believe this thing came out the same year as New York Ripper which is (In my opinion) one of his best films. Where New York Ripper is a fast paced, mean spirited, ultra violent Giallo. Manhattan Baby is a slow moving super natural flick. It truly is a sleeper.
In the beginning of the film we see two men exploring a tomb in Egypt. We are treated to a eye wound when one of the men fall through a secret trap door and is impaled on spikes. Being that this is a Lucio Fulci film naturally a spike goes through the mans eye.
Don't let this bit of violence fool you. From here on its a slow talky drama with much to much child acting in it.

Giovanni Frezza, who most would remember better as Bob from House By The Cemetery plays the son of the survivor from the Egyptian tomb eye-wound scene. In this one his name is Tommy and although not quite as annoying as Bob, its still irritating to look at his face through the run time. Tommy and his sister (some how) get a hold of a medallion from the ancient tomb. The medallion holds some sort of evil power and the kids become possessed.

 Then we have a bunch of unsuccessful old school scare gags, like creaky doors shutting on their own, lightning storms, sand appears in the house along with a scorpion. The kids baby sitter disappears along with a friend of the family. Fulci even brings back the white eye gag from the far Superior gore flick The Beyond.

Aside from the spike through the eye scene the only other gore we get comes towards the end of the film and most normal humans will be nodding out by then. We get this awesome scene which Dario Argento might have lifted from for Opera (1987). It involves a man being horribly mutilated by birds. The birds rip huge chunks of flesh from the mans face and eventually he bleeds to death. Its a shame such a cool scene was wasted on such a awful movie.

New York Ripper (1982)

My favorite of all Lucio Fulci films. New York Ripper is a extremely violent Giallo about a serial killer who is running around New York City quacking like a duck. (Yes you read that right) and slashing up young girls.

We have a detective and a psychological profiler on the case but the two always seem to show up to late or in the wrong place. We have a bunch of red herrings and the killer stays anonymous until the very end where he has half his face blown off.

Every character in this movie is overly sleazy. We have a heroin using, crack smoking, pervert, rapist who likes to tie women up and slash their breasts up. We have a nympho who spends her time roaming 42nd streets and attending live sex shows. We have a pervy swinging couple who record there sex acts on cassette and send a copy their spouse. Then there is one of my personal favorite scenes in a bar, involving a few trashy Hispanic fellows with pants so tight that you could almost count the veins in their balls. When women walk into their bar they sit her down and treat her to a beer before foot fucking them under the table. The Spanish men place a bet on whether or not the slut in the bar is wearing panties. Then he sticks his foot up her skirt and puts his toes where they just don't belong. All the while saying "She likes it!".

Then we have the typical Fulci, misogynist male characters. "You women are all the same! A menace to society! You women should stay at home where you belong. You've got the brains of a chicken!" and of course its only women being mutilated for the most part. We get gut stabbing, throat slashing, a broken bottle is shoved up a strippers vagina, nipples are split in half with a razor blade, a nasty razor to the hand scene, a head explosion, a razor to the eyeball, chest stabbing, etc. All the while the killer is going Quack! Quack! Quack!.
New York Ripper is a must see for anyone who likes their Giallo's very trashy and very gory. Its sure to make you quack up.

13 Ghosts (1960)

William Castle is famous for his gimmicks and his fun, silly brand of horror films. Sure their cheesy but their still fun. This one is about a family who inherit a house haunted by (yes, you guessed it) 13 Ghosts.

The ghosts can only be seen through the special "Ghost Viewer Glasses" Which were of course also handed out in theaters during the "Illusion-O" screenings. Some of the ghosts look pretty cool. We have a zombie-looking corpse running around. Then thers a decapitated ghost and we even have lion roaming around the house.
Aside from the 13 Ghost's, the house also has a large sum of money hidden somewhere within it. A handsome, manipulative, murderer wants to get his hands on the money before the ghosts get to him.

13 Ghosts offers up cheesy f/x, flying axes, the good old falling chandelier gag, the worlds biggest 3-D glasses, repetitive stairway banister sliding, a wicked witch, flying milk containers, kids with bull whips, murderous beds, head eating lions and 13 silly transparent ghosts.

Cheesy or not, I'll take the original 1960 version any day over that Hollywood remake that came out in the 2000's. William Castles films live on forever in the hearts of countless fans while the unimaginative waste of time remake is virtually forgotten in 10 years.