Creature Feature (2010)

Tom Byron Presents : released a DVD just in time for Halloween stapled after the Universal Studios monsters. For me there are only but three kinds of porn flicks. There are the classic 70's & 80's films. There are "fuck tapes" which is what I call the porn of today. Basically just shot on video scenes of people having sex, which I'm not a big fan of but they serve their purpose. Then there are modern digital flicks that are trying to be movies, like Pirates and This Ain't The Brady Bunch. Usually I'm not a fan of these either but every once and a while one will strike my personal interest, like The Texas Vibrator Massacre. Creature Feature fits somewhere in between a fuck-tape and a modern wanna-be movie.
Creature Feature was directed by Lizzy Borden who does a lot of films for Tom Byron. She also was in the incredibly shitty shot on video Terror Toons. If you have not seen that one, you are lucky. Stay away at all costs. Anyway Creature Feature is supposed to be like an anthology film and the short little stories are brought to us by a girl on a couch in an Elvira get-up. The Elvira character was played by Sunny Lane who has a pretty big porn filmography including titles like Not Bewitched and Tom Byron's other horror-porn-parody The Human Sexipede. We have a little intro before each fuck session which is digitally enhanced with some fake grain and the color is yellowed out to make it look old. The first segment is The Bride Of Fuckenstein and Evan Stone plays the mad scientist and he brings a pretty good looking girl with real boobs back to life in the classic Bride Of Frankenstein look.
The second segment is the Mummy which was ultra cheesy and the intro was just awful. A girl is running around in a cave with a tiki torch and finds a Mummy. She brings the Mummy to life with a blowjob and then rides the hell out of him. The Mummy costume pretty much consists of a pair of beige cacky pants and some toilet paper.
Then we got the Dracula scene which really doesn't need much explaining. This is followed by The Wolfman. The Wolfman actually got a laugh or two out of me. The make-up wasn't even half bad and that's pretty sad because I have seen some real movies with much worse werewolf makeup. The Wolfman is sucked and fucked back to normal. Say goodbye to the hairy palms.
The final segment is called Night Of The Fucking Dead Zombie and its a Night Of The Living Dead parody. Tom Byron plays the zombie in this scene and he gets it on with a obnoxious brunette who is way over acting or should I say over orgasiming. The one good thing I can say about this chick is that she has real boobs. Actually I think there was only one fake set of jugs in the whole movie and that's always a plus for me. The zombie segment wasn't all that great I prefer Night Of The Giving Head.
All in all Creature Feature is just another fuck tape but between the Elvira character and the silly monster sexcipades it was an alright watch.

Dangerous Charter (1962)

Why do I do this to myself? This one came in a pack of 12 movies which cost me five bucks. The pack had a few titles in it that I wanted such as the gay biker movie The Pink Angels and Sidehackers which was awesome and you can also read about on my blog. The pack is called Savage Cinema and so far it seems to be averaging one bad flick for every good one. Dangerous Charter however is one of the bad ones. Its about a drug smuggler who abandoned his boat "The Medusa" along with the narcotics hidden within it. A group of fishermen find the Medusa and bring it back. The police ask the fishermen to secretly work for them with the idea that the smugglers will come back for their yacht. Things don't go as planned and the fishermen are held captive by the head smuggler and his goons. The acting is awful and the whole movie is boring talky scenes between the hostages and the criminals.
I'm also getting really sick of all these movies that use awful guitar playing and singing as filler. It seems like every movie I watch these days went that rout and it sucks just as much every time. If were not watching these uninteresting characters botch up their lines we are waiting for Dick to put down his guitar and shut up. The characters name is Dick and that's what he is, One big Dick!
Dangerous Charter doesn't get remotely interesting till the last five minutes when we are treated to a shootout between the conflicting characters. One of the goons gets a harpoon through the gut and two others crash their motorboat and drown. Unless you are into movies that take about three sittings to get through, take my advice as a warning and stay as far away from Dangerous Charter as possible.

Curse Of The Devil (1973)

Paul Naschy really likes doing these werewolf movies. Its a shame that I don't always enjoy watching them. This one is pretty boring all around. Curse Of The Devil opens up with two knights dueling it out on horseback. One of them is decapitated and the head is held in front of the camera for gore hounds to gawk at with the awful 70's style blood that we all know and love and its more silly than ever here. Then we have some witches being hung and another burned at the stake. Before the witch is burned alive she places a curse on the family who is responsible. We jump forward in time and a axe murderer is on the loose along with a werewolf who is of course played by Paul Naschy. Unfortunately the murders are not shown in enough detail. We see axe's coming down but never really get to see anybody being hacked up. The same goes with the werewolf scenes. We get a little blood here and there but not enough to save the movie from being a bore-fest. My personal favorite scene consists of a pick axe to the chest and a bit of splatter on the camera lens. There is also a a scene with a man who's face has been shreaded by the claws of the wolf. We also get a few naked babes running around and of course a few man to wolf transformations but they don't really offer anything new. Aside from these few decent moments Curse Of The Devil is pretty slow. Naschy completest might dig this one but the rest of us should skip it.

Dr. Lamb (1992)

Here's an earlier Hong Kong Category 3 film from director Danny Lee (Untold Story a.k.a. Bunnman). This ones a nasty tale of a perverted taxi driver who likes to strangle young girls. The he takes the bodies home where he will put makeup on them, take pervy pictures, fondle the corpse and eventually saw them up with a circular saw. Why this movie is called Dr. Lamb is beyond me. The killer is not a doctor nor is there any doctors in the film that make any kind of difference. I also find this infamous title to be slightly over rated. Most of these serial killer/rapist Cat. III films are all pretty much the same. This one plays very much like The Untold Story and Diary Of A Serial Killer in the sense that the story is told from the killers point of view from behind bars after being severely beaten by the police. There are some shocking scenes, mainly the disposal of dead hookers. When our killer chops up the bodies with the circular saw blood and guts fly all over the place. The walls are splattered bloody red and chunks of guts fly into the fish tank which I thought was pretty nasty. The killer also keeps some souvenirs. In one scene he cuts off a girls breast with a scalpel and puts it in a jar. Later in an investigation scene the jar falls off a shelf and lands on a fat man. The boob lands on his shoulder and the filthy stinky water is all over him. This leads to a Three Stooges esque dismembered boob juggle. It is tossed from one cop to another and eventually lands on a girls back as if Curly threw a mouse down the back of a dress at a diner party. The movie manages to supply a bit of tension in one scene where our killer picks up a school girl in his taxi. He feels that she is "good" and everyone else is bad. He creeps her out, telling her how she has to keep her innocence. When she tries to make a run for it the taxi driver chases after her in the rain. It doesn't end so nicely for the Innocent school girl but it makes for a pretty creepy scene.
Dr. Lamb is worth a watch for Cat III fans but in my opinion doesn't come close to movies like The Untold Story and Ebola Syndrome. There is just not enough going on here plot wise. Dr. Lamb is just another sickie quickie from China. Could have been worse and could have been better. Fans of this movie or Danny Lee's style in general should check out Diary Of A Serial Killer.

House On Haunted Hill (1959)

I first saw this one when I was a little kid with my father. It had a pretty big impact on me along with all the other horror films my father showed me, Night Of The Living Dead, The Exorcist, The Invisible Man and even the incredibly cheesy Night Of The Lepus. Over the years I have seen all these films so many times but tonight was the first time I have ever seen House On Haunted Hill colorized. Usually I can dig colorized movies almost as a sort of novelty. I usually prefer the original B&W version but I have to admit, tonight I saw this movie with completely different eyes. The colorization was done really well and it brought so much life to the castle. It was pretty amazing seeing the decapitated heads and the rat melting away in the vat of acid. Fans of this movie should take a look at this one in color if the chance comes. I already have about five copies of this movie since its in every public domain pack that you can get your hands on for about 50 cents but now I feel like I need one more copy.

Vincent Price is excellent as usual in the amazingly ultra-goofy haunted house flick. He plays a very wealthy man who invites five people to spend the night in the haunted castle. If the people make it all night they will receive ten thousand dollars each. According to legend the castle has a long history of murder. In one scene one of the guests explains that a murder was committed in almost every room in the house at one period of time or another. With this in mind each guest is given a small coffin with a handgun inside it. Once the guests are armed they are given free reign to the house. Its not long before they are visited by floating ghosts and walking skeletons. There are hangings and decapitated heads. Certain rooms seem to be booby trapped with falling chandeliers and vats of acid in the floor. The guests start to lose their cool and its not long before everyone loses their trust for one another. The guests attempt to drug, poison, shoot and stab each other.
House On Haunted Hill is a classic from the king of gimmick William Castle and those who love the original really need to see the colorized version if not for anything else at least just a change of pace. Its well worth the watch and way better then that crappy Hollywood remake. Even Emergo would find this version interesting.

Sidehackers (1969)

For those out there who don't know what a Sidehacker is, it a motorcycle with a sort of side car on it and it allows a passenger to stand up or hang off the motorcycle and drag their ass on the road. Its really a team work sort of thing where the passenger in the sidecar helps for quicker turns and what not. I'm not sure if this was a actual sport back in the old bizzaro days but it looks pretty cool in this 1969 revenge flick.
This one also goes under the title of Five The Hard Way but I'm a bigger fan  of Sidehackers. Sidehackers opens up like a typical boring motorcycle exploitation flick with lots of "sidehacking" around a bumpy dirt race track. Its not long before this thing completely changes directions and becomes a nasty rape/revenge flick.
Our main character is played by Ross Hagen who some might remember as Speed from Al Adamsons Angels Wild Women. Ross Hagen reminds me of a B-movie version of Charlton Heston with a horse voice. This time Hagen plays Rommel a Sidehacker who is soon to be married. Rommel finds himself mixed up with a psycho biker named J.C. (I guess we can call him a Motorpsycho.) J.C.'s girl has a thing for Rommel but when Rommel turns her down she cries rape to her sadistic boyfriend J.C. This pisses J.C. off really bad and his form of justice is to rape and murder Rommels soon to be wife. Then we get a bad montage of Rommel morning over his fiance with a song that you would expect to be in a Blaxploitation flick that explains exactly how he is feeling. Rommel groups up some bad-ass friends and plots out his revenge.
Its so obvious that the sick sick 70's are right around the corner here because this really is a nasty picture. The movie ends with a bloody shootout between Rommels crew and J.C.'s. There are a couple of excellent squib shots that are very convincing. One is a bullet to the knee and it almost looks like theres some bone and meat protruding from the leg.
Its funny that this movie is better known with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary because I really thought it was a awesome movie with a great 70's style nihilistic ending. I have not seen the MST3K version of this movie yet but now I want to. I can't see them laughing through the films final.

Zotz! (1962)

William Castle changes it up at the height of his gimmick career and does a comedy. Its a weird comedy about a man who is given a coin that holds a strange power from an ancient civilization. Are you guys ready for this? Its the power of a word... Zotz! The back of the coin has an inscription explaining the three powers that come with the holder of the coin and the word Zotz! Rule number one, The extension of the index finger pointed in a persons general direction will cause sudden pain. In other words if I hold the coin and point at you, you will fall over in sudden pain. Rule number two, the word Zotz causes temporary "retardation" to anything in site. For example if I hold the coin and look at you and say the word Zotz! Out loud, you will move and speak in slow motion. The third rule is the most dangerous, he who holds the coin has the power to destroy anything in sight. All he has to do is point at someone or something and say the magic word at the same time and it will cause sudden death.
What a strange concept for a comedy. Eventually the coin causes all sorts of trouble. The Mafia the government and the military all want their hands on Zotz! There is a really cool scene towards the end where our main character is dodging bullets and jumps from a sky scraper in slow motion (thanks to Zotz!). Theres also a funny Three Stooges bit in there with some mice thrown into a diner party. William Castle fans will also get a laugh out of the Drive-In scene where a couple go see Homicidal.
Zotz! was a change of pace for me a step away from horror and trash film for a moment and a fun time with a strange comedy from the king of gimmick.

Horrible Horror (1986)

Horrible Horror is a made for video compilation of so bad they're good horror and scifi flicks from the 30's to the 60's.  Its hosted by Zacherley The Cool Ghoul and he has a few funny bits in here. My favorite segment is on zombie flicks where Zacherley sticks a drill into a brain and gets his 6th finger caught inside it. Horrible Horror may have been for home video but you can't help but be reminded of It Came From Hollywood. Trailer fanatics like myself will get a kick out of this video because its basically a 110 minutes of trailers. We get trailers for William Castles 13 Ghosts in 3D and House On Haunted Hill. A awesome trailer for The Alligator People, The Blob's trailer shows up too.
If The Cool Ghoul isn't on screen and we are not watching trailers then we are probably just watching some silly clip from some B-movie like Ed Woods Bride Of The Monster. Speaking of Ed Wood, one thing I couldn't figure out is why Glen Or Glenda was in here. Sure its a classic Exploitation film at its best/worst but its not really horror or science fiction. Either way its always great to watch Bela Lagosi "Pull the strings!". We also have segments of the incredibly strange Spanish brain sucking classic Brainiac and the incredibly racist 1930's King Of The Zombies.
The VHS cover states "The Ultimate Party Tape!" I really don't know if this should be your number one pick but its certainly worth a watch for anyone who's into Zacherley, rare trailers or just oldies and B-movies.
See ya later Igor!

Film Is Dead

I was very disturbed to hear the news from a friend who works in a multiplex that he will be firing all his projectionists. Why would anybody want to fire all the projectionists at a movie theater? Well because film is obsolete. Since everybody shoots on digital now there is no need for 35mm projectors anymore. One by one the screens are being ripped down at the local multiplex's and new digital screens are taking their place. The screens are at the height of technology and the picture is supposed to be ten times more clear then a 1080P digital screen and Blue Ray player. This means no grain, which means no ageing which means no classics. The new system is basically a huge ipod. The new digital movies are uploaded into this new player and then its transmitted over to the screen. This means that people will be paying their 12 bucks or whatever it is to go watch T.V.. Why would anybody go to a theater to watch t.v.? I asked my friend at the multiplex what the point of all this was and he said aside from the difference in a clearer picture this allows theater owners to pause, stop, and rewind a movie. I asked him what the point of that was and he said "lets just say a fight broke out in the theater or someone pulls a fire alarm or the sound goes out for a second. This will allow us to stop the movie and go back to were we left off." How stupid is that? Apparently it might be a normal thing for the theater to stop your movie. Does this mean I get a remote and can pause the movie when I want to take a piss or get some over priced popcorn?
 This process of eliminating film in theaters is very expensive. Were talking hundreds of thousands of dollars. So the Art-Houses won't be able to afford this. Which means the art-houses that play cult films and foreign films might do okay but the little guys who were trying to compete with the multiplexes are all going to go under.
As if this news isn't bad enough, this new equipment can not even play old film unless of course it transferred over to digital and uploaded into this new system. Not that the multiplex's would ever play anything old anyway.
Eventually they destroy everything. The Drive-Ins are all gone and now they are taking film out of the theater. I never thought that when I get old I'd have to tell my kids what it was like to see a film on a screen but I guess the future is here and I don't like it.

Hell On Wheels (1967)

Not even slightly interesting piece of garbage about a racecar driver played by Marty Robbins and his jealous brother. For 97 minutes we get to watch Marty Robins drive in circles on a race track or play awful country music in a night club. Marty's younger brother played by John Ashly (Brides Of Blood) is a whinny little brat who is determined to beat his brother in a race. Then theres this stupid subplot about criminals and their moonshine stills. The brothers get caught up in their racket for a bit but it only eats up about 10 minutes of the crappy screentime.
It was pretty hard to make it through this thing. I found myself trying to find one redeeming value aside from John Ashly and the only thing I could come up with was that I liked the grandpa character because the majority of his screen time he was sleeping. I guess I just felt I could relate to the old man. If you don't want to sleep, stay far far away from Hell On Wheels. On the other hand if you need a good sedative it might be of some use. Ya know what, scratch that. The loud motors will keep you up. Just stay away from Hell On Wheels all together!

Youth Aflame (1944)

Another juvenile delinquent flick from the guy who did Assassin Of Youth and Swamp Women. This ones about two teenage sisters. One is a nice girl who respects her daddy, does her school work, keeps up with the house and is seeing a nice boy. The other is a selfish brat who hates her family, hates school and is running with older hoodlums, which makes sense because the alternate and better exploitation title is Hoodlum Girls. The girls don't have a mother and their father can't be hip to everything the girls are doing. Dad doesn't catch on till the police arrive at a teenage milk-bar club called the "Jive". One of daddies little girl spiked the punch and the clean-cut milkbar is shut down. By the time dad tries to confront his daughters its to late. The bad girl ran off with her bad boyfriend but when he refuses to marry her she pulls a gun on him. The two hoodlums wrestle for the gun and the nice Innocent daughter is caught in friendly fire.
I usually tend to like all of these juvenile delinquent movies. This one is far from my favorite but its still a fun watch if not for anything else just to laugh at some of the silly shock-of-the-time stuff. In one of my personal favorite scenes the bad daughter comes home drunk and unbuttons her blouse in front of her innocent sister. She has a slip on and the innocent sister huffs in disappointment as says "where did you get that?" The bad sister replies, "The booze or the slip?" Theres also some cool scenes in a bar with chicks in dresses doing some old time dance/acrobatic acts. We also have one really cool juggling act and a really bizarre ending with a group of children playing She Will Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes. This scene just needs to bee seen to be believed.

Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Although sexually charged this early 70's lesbian vampire film comes off rather classy for Jess Franco. Its also in my opinion one of his most visually pleasing films. The color schemes and camera work is excellent and helps depict the sexy vampires as almost elegant. Franco chooses to shoot through glass in many scenes, either a window, glass door or mirror and on occasion has blood trickling down the glass to portray a dreamlike moment. The film never comes across as trashy, as many of his other films do like Barbed Wire Dolls or his Ilsa entry. I think I do prefer his trashier work but this one was still a nice watch for me.
Vampyros Lesbos lacks a bit in the story which is pretty normal for Franco. Its about a sexually frustrated women who isn't happy in her current relationship so she takes off to shack up with a sexy vamp who inherited her estate from Count Dracula.
I thought it was a bit silly that the film chose to bring up the king of all vampires but at the same time I never try to take a Franco film seriously. Another thing that I found odd about this one is that the vampires spend most of their time on the beach (naked of course) in the daylight. Franco references Dracula but denies the basic foundations.
There is no lack of nudity here. Between the lesbianism and the sunbathing we have plenty of flesh to look at. If you're looking for a typical low budget Euro-Trash flick you probably will want to skip this one but if you want an erotic art flick this one would probably do the trick.

Re-Animator (1985)

This is Splatter! Re-Animator is one of my all time favorite Zombie flicks. Its a non-stop gore fest from beginning to end with scenes that just can't be forgotten. It opens up with a mans eyes bulging out of his head until they pop. Then it gets crazier and gorier with decapitated talking heads and exploding entrails. The most memorable scene is probably the one where the talking severed head performs oral sex on Barbara Crampton. One detail that I never noticed until my last viewing was that there is a sex scene between Cramton and the main character and there is a poster on the wall for the band The Talking Heads, of course foreshadowing the great scene that I just mentioned. Another memorable moment concerns a dead cat with a broken back who is brought back to life. The cat screams in pain and our great anti-hero has this to say... "Birth is always painful". Then we have brain surgery, lobotomies, a bone saw rips through a zombies back and comes out its chest. We have fingers being bit off, heads thrown across the room, zombie nudity(complete with swinging zombie dick), people are strangles with intestines, severed zombie arms and just a whole mess of splattery madness.
Re-Animator is one of those horror flicks that stays fun no matter how many times you see it. Its full of great quotes and the gore is off the wall. If you like mad scientist's and you like zombies, I can't see you not liking this movie. All out 80's fun done the right way.

Cemetery Man (1994)

Michele Soavi gives a perfect blend of entertainment and art. Cemetery Man is a zombie film with a thought provoking message and surreal cinematography all mixed together with a bit of humor. The zombies in the film are almost there as filler in a story of a man who runs a cemetery and has completely lost touch with reality. Cemetery Man is one of those movies that people spend hours talking about. So I will not go into my idea on what all it means but I really feel that if you watch the movie a few times its not really that hard to figure it out. What I will tell you is that Cemetery Man has it all. It has flying/talking zombie heads, vomiting retards, plenty of zombies, gory flesh eating, In one of my favorite scenes a motorcycle gang crashes into a bus full of boy scouts. The gangs heads splatter all over the place with brains that look like blueberry pie. The movie also stars the beautiful Anna Falchi who bares it all for us. we also get castration, dead nuns. dead priests, dead nurses, prostitute college girl massacre, a street gang massacre and whole bunch of great one liners. "Id give my life to be dead"
This ones really got something for everyone. Zombies, Sex, Murder, Comedy, Art and Style. Check it out.

Wild Rebels (1967)

A race car driver joins a motorcycle gang called Satan's Angels as a getaway driver for their new big bank robbery. What the gang doesn't know is that their new pretty-boy gang member is working undercover for the police. Things don't work out as smoothly as the police thought and the movie ends in a nasty shoot out in a lighthouse.
This one really has very little bike riding scenes but makes up for it in the violence department. The gang is really small and its pretty laughable. The leader and the brains of the gangs name is Jeeter. Jeeter looks the part of a biker but speaks more like a college professor. Then we have the exact opposite, a fat bastard named Fatty. Fatty can't speak at all aside from making the occasional choo-choo train noise. My favorite member of the gang is Banjo. Banjo pretty much comes off as retarded but hes also the only member that could pass as a real biker. Banjo is the brawn of the gang, all he wants to do is drink and fight. Hes always at someones throat and he always takes the violence one step further. In one scene he has Fatty hold up a mans head (who has already been knocked out in the fight) so he can run up and kick his head like a football. This scene comes across somewhere between humorous and disturbing, if that makes any sense. The last and final member is the gangs momma. She helps the gang in their robbery's and also gives them plenty of reasons to fight. Lets say for instance a "square" asks her to dance, the gang will happily break bottles over their head and smash in their face with chains.
Wild Rebels really doesn't get good until the end. The movie opens up with a pretty cool theme song but unfortunately its not heard again. Instead we get an awful soundtrack with some of the worst dancing I have ever seen in a movie. The undercover race-boy also feels the need to play really awful songs on his guitar and there is one scene in particular where he is lip-singing with a band and its rather embarasing to watch. One thing that I found a bit surprising is that there wasn't one nude scene. A bit strange for a Biker Exploitation flick. For me Wild Rebels really delivered in the final. The bank robbery scene is cool and its followed by a nice car chase and it all comes to a end in a Wild Bunch type shoot out at the end. Through the whole movie the gang explains how they are not in it for the money "We do it all for the kicks" but the audience can tell that the future is pretty bleak and once the gang realizes, its already to late. The cops drop like flies as the Satan's Angels blow em away one by one with shotguns, hand guns and automatic weapons but there is no way out and no escape.

The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969)

Do you like late 60's Sexploitation monster flicks? If so you might want to check out The Curious Dr. Humpp. Its an all out wacky Sexploitation movie from Argentina with tons of bare breasted women with huge pubic. In one of the opening scens a girl manages to have hair hanging out of her huge 60's panties, it almost looks like its gonna get caught in her garter. Some of the other things you have to look forward to is lesbians, masturbation, drugs, hippies and a mad scientist named Dr. Humpp. The odd thing is Dr. Hummp is probably the only character who doesn't hump anything. Everyone else is super-sexed and gets down and dirty with anyone. This one also has a really silly looking monster who stumbles around in his metallic boots and kidnaps men and women so Dr. Humpp can use them for his sexual experiments. The monster is kind of the leader of a group of monsters who almost appear to be robots. The way we know he is the leader is, well I guess his amount of screen time. The monster is actually quite the romantic, he gives girls flowers and plays them songs on his guitar. Yep that's right, the monster plays an instrument. The monster isn't always so sensitive, from time to time he might have to pimp smack a nude babe across the room and carry her away like Frankenstein.
Dr. Humpp may control his monsters, robots and human experiments but Humpp himself is under the control of a talking brain that he keeps in a lit up, bubbling jar and this brain is one rude bastard. Its always yelling and calling people idiots. The talking brain is the brain of a dead scientist but Dr. Humpp managed to keep it alive in order to complete the sexperiments. "Sex dominates the world and now I dominate sex."
As crazy as this all is The Curious Dr. Humpp can still get a little slow at times and some of the sex scenes go on a bit to long but overall the silliness of all the insane perversion can keep the audience laughing. It was directed by the same guy who did Feast Of Flesh a.k.a. The Deadly Organ but in my opinion Dr. Humpp is way better. Worth a watch just remember to leave your brain at the door... or in a jar for that matter.

Caged Heat (1974)

One of the best (W.I.P.) Women In Prison movies ever made. This one was written and directed by the same guy who went on to do Silence Of The Lambs which I am not a big fan of but considering this is his first film, we really see how talented he was right from the beginning. I don't want to go as far as saying Caged Heat has class but it certainly does appear more polished then the average W.I.P. flick. The plot is pretty standard in all these movies. Criminal girls are being mistreated on the inside, in some movies more severely then others and theres almost always a wicked warden, This time played by wheelchair bound Barbara Steele. 90% of the time the inmates plan an escape and that's usually as far a a plot goes. These movies are always filled with lots of nudity and usually violence. A fight scene in the shower is almost necessary and its also not so rare for some medical type violence to be going on as well.
This one has the perfect mix of sex & violence but also offers up some humor which is pretty rare for this genre. The small bits of comedy really doesn't take away from the film either because it was done properly. It actually almost enhances the film because it adds another layer of depth to a genre that is usually pretty thin layered. Don't get me wrong, I love W.I.P. movies especially ones like this that Roger Corman produced. Anyone who likes movies like The Big Doll House and Black Momma White Momma will love this movie. Caged Heat "Will knock your pretty little teeth so far down your throat that you will need a picket fence around your asshole" so sit back and enjoy!

Devil Girl 18 (1992)

Possibly the craziest, weirdest, strangest most bizarre movie I have ever seen in my life. This Hong Kong Category Three film is a complete and total utter mess. From what I was able to gather Its about a demonic couple from hell that is here to have sex with the people of earth and take their souls. The scenes and characters come out of nowhere without any warning. For instance we can go from a Kung Fu scene to a sex scene in a shower and then it will cut away to a head explosion. While viewing this I wasn't able to tell if the film was missing footage or if it was possible to really have such a disarray of mish-mosh. Based on what I have read from a few other people this really is just the way the film was edited together.
If there ever was a Movie From Mars, this is it. The truth is that the chaoticness of it really made it enjoyable for me. Its so strange that you almost have to sit there and see whats going to happen next.
Devil Girl 18 came out somewhere around 1992 but the year is questionable. However this thing totally has 80's style F/X going on with all these crazy lightning bolts being shot all over the place. Some of the scenes reminded me a lot of the Indonesian horror flicks especially during these weird mystical kung fu scenes. To make this Cat. III film even a bit stranger, its not really even a horror flick. Its more of a mystical softcore porn. For me the sex scenes is actually what slowed the movie down. There was a couple of cool artsy sex scenes in the beginning and then there was one in a brothel with a really hot girl in a garter-belt but other then that the sex got really boring. Some of the other strange happenings we have going on is lots of leather clad Asian sex and one of the demonic leather-clad dudes wears tons of lipstick and its very hard to take him seriously as a bad-ass. Then we have a very strange sex scene on a rotating yin yang. We have a weird blowjob scene with a guy in elephant underwear with a huge trunk hanging down and then a beam of neon light shoots from his crotch and a girl performs oral sex on the light. We  also have some fat man Kung Fu, A few cool shoot-em-up scenes. A few head explosions and we even get a hopping vampire. This is just scratching the surface of how weird Devil Girl 18 really is. Its one of those movies that you have to see for yourself to believe it. I still don't believe it.

Popcorn (1991)

This movie plays like a shitty 80's flick but its actually a early 90's movie. Does that make this good? Nah, it still sucks! This ones about a group of kids who decide to throw a all night horror/scifi marathon in a old movie theater. The movies are all supposed to be 1950's gimmick films similar to William Castle. The first film is called Mosquito and they have a giant mosquito rigged up so it can fly over the audience. This of course being William Castles Emergo for House On Haunted Hill. The second film is The Amazing Electrified Man which reminded me of that Lon Chaney Jr. flick The Indestructible Man and yes you guessed it this one has the electric seats that will shock the ass of the audience just like in The Tingler. The third film in their marathon is called The Stench which is shot in Aroma-Rama which was take from the king of trash John Waters. The kids find a mysterious canister of film which contains footage of a madman who killed his family. Now the psycho is back to terrorize the audience of this all night horror-fest.
Unfortunately the fake films within the film is better then what we are actually watching. Popcorn is filled with really bad 80's style affects and a whole mess of bad joke. In fact while watching this I could have sworn it was a 80's flick. Dee Wallace is in this one and its a shame because the movie is just so bad you initially feel bad for her. The special F/X are all right but other then that this one is a complete stinker. For all of you out there who like shitty 80's movies filled with lame jokes, this is a movie for them. If you're like me and you rather watch something a little less silly, then don't even waste your time.

Corrupt Lieutenant (1983)

Originally titled Cop Killer then retitled Corrupt Lieutenant to cash in on Harvey Keitel's much better and much more successful Bad Lieutenant, This Italian Thriller not only stars Keitel but also casts Johnny Rotten or John Lydon of the Sex Pistols. Very strange casting going on there. The music was done by Italian master Ennio Morricone and everyone rants and raves about it but I feel it was probably one of his worst musical scores. This movie is pretty boring and it has trouble holding the attention. For me the only real entertainment was watching Rotten and Keitel act together. Its just such a strange concept and its kind of humorous to watch Harvey stick Mr. Rottens head in a oven and beat him up constantly. For the most part Rotten comes off as himself, a snot-nosed punk with a nihilistic attitude but then theres the sensitive scenes where he has to be all soft spoken and he loses his sarcastic tone of voice. Very amusing for anyone who's into Punk Rock.
Other then the strange cast Cop Killer is pretty lame. Harvey Keitel plays a Corrupt Lieutenant who has been using drug money for his own gain. Johnny Rotten plays a spoiled bastard who wants to bring Keitel down and pin the latest brash of cop-killing on him.
There is a psychopath  running around in a ski mask, slashing up police officers with a Gialo-style knife. These scenes are not very graphic and come off rather silly. Another thing that really annoyed me was the ending. It was awful and totally anticlimactic. Stay away from Cop KIller. Its a waste of time unless you also feel the need to see John Lydon and Harvey Keitel work their magic together.