The Ecstasies Of Women (1969)

Ecstasies Of Women was a long lost Sexploitation flick from director Herschell Gordon Lewis until very recently when it was finally found and released on DVD for all us dirt-bags.

While it may not be the best example of a Sexploitation movie or even a Herschell Gordon Lewis film for that matter it does have some kind of bizarre charm like so many other films from the director.

The Ecstasies Of Women is sort of a anti-marriage film. This one follows a goofy looking prick named Harry who is about to be married in a few days. Harry and his pals go out to the local Go-Go titty-bar for one last drunken night of debauchery. Harry goes in and out of consciousness as he drunkenly sits in the sleazy boob-joint and dreams/fantasizes about various different women and the crazy sex-capades he would indulge in with them.

 The story is simple and stupid. It has an odd combination of unintentional and intended humor which is typical of the great H.G. Lewis. Fans of 60's Sexploitation should not be let down by the massive amounts of giant jugs on display in this one. While I usually prefer my 60's smut a little more on the violent side, this one still makes for a decent time waster. While the dialogue does tend to get a bit annoying at times, especially in the beginning, there is still enough silliness and bad acting to keep us B movie guys entertained. One of the highlights is Harry's smooth talking hippie friend who looks more like a business man in some really dumb fashionable get-up. Or at least I guess it was fashionable for 1969!? This guy is a total jack-ass. Come to think of it, everyone in the movie is kinda a dork.

I guess if you have some kind of crazy plans of getting married this one might do the trick. I guess the over all message is that there are too many fish in the sea. Well there are also too many crappy exploitation movies out there. With that being said I take my hat off to the Godfather Of Gore, Herschell Gordon Lewis for yet again delivering a total piece of trash without any shame.

Well perhaps there was a slight bit of shame considering he is credited as "Mark Hansen" on this one.  

Prison Girls (1972)

I guess with a title like Prison Girls and such an amazing poster most would have guessed that this is a pretty trashy movie and they would of course be right. Like just about every other movie in the women in prison genre Prison Girls focuses on sex and great abundance of naked flesh. However the thing that separates this one from most of the other women in prison films is that this one is basically a soft core porn.

I never liked using the words "soft-core porn". When I hear those words I think of bad late 80's early 90's shot on video crap. For me most Sexploitation flicks fit into a different genre but this one truly is as close as you get to porn without quite crossing that boundary. Prison Girls also known as Prison Girls In 3-D barely even takes place in a prison. In the first ten minutes we are treated to an all out brawl in the prison showers. Its all out breasts and bush in this spectacle of 70's smut but in the very next scene the girls are given a weekend pass out of the prison. A weekend pass? What the fuck is that? Anyway 99% of the film takes place outside of the woman's prison. Now of course this doesn't mean that there is going to be any less naked flesh but naturally we wont be seeing anymore group showers or food fights or women being hosed down when they get out of line like in most other women in prison flicks.

This one comes from director Tom DeSimone. This guy is A-Okay in my book. With so many cool titles to his name like Terror In The Jungle and Hell Night it is hard to believe he turned out such a turd with this one. I mean the man has done quite a few women in prison flicks, some of which are personal favorites in the genre like Reform School Girls but this one just slacks in so many different areas. For starters this one seems like it is a foreign film. Uschi Digard shows up with her giant melons on display and her constant awkward smile that she is known and loved for and the entire film is so poorly dubbed it makes a Hong Kong Kung-Fu flick look like a major Hollywood production. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing it does serve to make the whole viewing experience all the more strange. The plot... if you can call it that is as bad as it gets. None of the characters are very likeable and the dialogue is equally as terrible. The sex scenes are very confusing with an over abundance of talky-talk and most of the girls here are not much to look at.

The best scene in the entire film showcases a biker gang that forces a man to rape the woman he loves. When it is all said and done the guy seems really proud of what he did and I can't help but be reminded of the character of Matthew in I Spit On Your Grave. "I did it! I really did." Its too bad the rest of the movie didn't focus on the sleazy biker trash. There is also a very small subplot about a bank robber who is on the run but that is all very uninteresting and in the end they try to make up for all the nonsense with some stupid moralistic dialogue which also comes off ridiculous and not needed.

I could have skipped this one all together and just have stuck with a better film from the genre but that's how it goes when you have a life long dedication to trash cinema.

Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (1973)

Here's another real weird one from Jean Rollin. In fact it is so weird it is hard to say what exactly the director was trying to do here. Is it a comedy? Is it an action movie? Is it a thriller? I guess its a bit of everything.

Schoolgirl Hitchhikers plays a lot like a 60's Roughie but since it is shot in color and came out in the sick sick 70's it comes off more as a confused mess of a sexploitation flick.

The paper thin plot follows two girls who enter what they believe to be an abandoned house. Its only a mater of minutes before the two little nymphos are stripping nude and rolling around in a bed together. Eventually the girls learn that they are not alone in the house when they bump into Frank, a jewels thief who is hiding out in the old house while he waits for his fellow crime buddies. Of course the two girls get it on with Frank and all seems pretty cute and tame until Franks friends show up and the stolen jewels are missing from Franks hiding spot. Naturally the two sex crazed girls are blamed for the disappearance and the hard earned criminals take turns torturing the gals between knife point rape sessions.

 This makes for a pretty typical 1970's rape revenge plot but there is nothing typical about this one. Instead it comes off a bit like a comedy with ridiculously silly music playing of the scenes of savagery. Then we have a couple of bumbling idiots for police officers. They kind of just sit around and watch the violence being committed. One of the dumb cops is played by a miniskirt clad chick with pigtails and in case you haven't guessed she gets the old rape treatment as well. This one offers up some riding crop violence with a naked babe being whipped repeatedly and even some booby twisting with what appears to be some kind of fireplace instrument. There is also a bit of hot poker action and what has to be one of the weirdest shoot-out scenes to ever plague the big screens. The whole thing is a bit to strange to explain. It goes from being really artsy to a bit violent but it is all drawn out in such a silly manner.

Yet again I am not overly big on a Jean Rollin film but fans of his work might dig this one because there is still the typical Rollin sleepy moments that play like some surreal dream or something. Not really to much to recommend in this one aside from how weird it all is. I'm still confused!

    

Linda And Abilene (1969)

Herschell Gordon Lewis has delved into so many different genres. Of course he is most famous for his early gore films like Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs but he has dipped his feet into just about every exploitation sub genre known to man. He did nudist camp films like Natures Playmates. Sexploitation trash like The Alley Tramp. Hillbilly horrors like This Stuff'll Kill Ya. Biker films like She Devils On Wheels. Juvenile delinquent stuff like Just For The Hell Of It. I can go on and on but I'm sure you get the point. With this one he offers up a sexploitation flick in the form of a western.

This one starts off a bit slow and it takes quite a while before we even have any dialogue but eventually it gets into the warped tale of a incest, lesbianism and murder.

A brother and sister attend their parents funeral and are left to tend to the farm and house on their own and I'm sure their parents wouldn't be proud of them when the siblings start spying on each other in various states of undress. Both of them lust after the other and they have sleepless nights of a masturbation with dirty incestuous thoughts. Eventually they give in to their desires and its not long before they are humping all over the house, farm and creek. Things turn sour when big brother takes off to the nearest town for a night of liquor and ladies. A dude at the bar named "Rawhide" over hears a conversation between big brother and a local hooker about how he left little sister home all alone. Naturally Rawhide heads over to the farm-house where he will indulge in a night of rape.

When big brother comes home to the aftermath of his beloved sisters rape he promptly decides to kill Rawhide. So I guess it is also a rape/revenge flick too. The whole revenge thing comes off rather rushed and it all comes to an anticlimactic and abrupt ending.

The main problem with this flick aside from its boring beginning is that there just isn't enough naked flesh in it. There are only two girls in the entire movie and after a while we get tired of seeing the naked frolic scenes. However there are some truly awesomely awkward moments in here like the churning butter montage. We watch bro and sis join hands and jerk-off a barrel of butter. Who thinks this stuff up?

Linda And Abilene was thought to be long lost but lucky for all us Herschell Gordon Lewis fanatics it was recently found. Not the best movie in the world but fans of Lewis are used to that sort of thing. Check it out for fun with lesbians, incest, rape/revenge and of course butter churning.

 

The Slave (1962)

The Slave is a strange little sexploitation film from French director Max Pecas who is known for trashy titles such as A Sweet Taste Of Honey and House Of 1000 Pleasures. This one is no different when it comes to bare breasted ladies and raunchy characters but the plot is a real weird one.

A wealthy woman is planning on spending the next ten days with her gigolo boyfriend in her suburban home while her husband is away on business. Her plans a disrupted when her half brother shows up with his mistress. It turns out her half brother has just committed a robbery and needs to hide out in his sisters home. The only problem is big brother is a bit of a pervert and gets a bit rapey with his sister. Apparently he has been blackmailing his sister for the past nine years with some pornographic pictures he has of her, so calling the police is out of the question and the whole house becomes his slave and he does what he wants to all of them. While all this is going on some skin-headed mobster is plotting a revenge against the domineering criminal.

It all comes complete with a very strange twist ending with plenty of perversion and over the top violence. This has to be one of the weirdest sexploitation films ever made. While it isn't necessarily a very good movie it is how bizarre some of the scenes are that makes it a relatively interesting watch. In one of the weirdest moments a woman strips off her clothes and furiously humps a tree while she watches a man in a straightjacket being violently beaten. How cool is that?

This one plays like a cross between a crime film and a roughie with a touch of the artsy-fartsy stuff. Its just weird!

Schoolgirls In Chains (1973)

What do you get when you mix Mothers Day with Barn Of The Naked Dead? You get School Girls In Chains of course. This one went under quite a few different titles, It was originally going to be called The Black Widow which is a relatively boring title. It was also known as Abducted, Abduction, Come Play With Us and Lets Play Dead. It is most widely known under its most exploitative title School Girls In Chains and now for some reason the Code Red DVD release of it is just entitled Girls In Chains. What ever you want to call this one it doesn't change the fact that this one is Sick! Sick! Sick!

   I absolutely love this movie. It follows two brothers, Frank and John. Frank is a hulking lunatic played by Gary Kent who has tons of exploitation credits to his name (Satans Sadists, Black Klansman, Thrill Killers) and John is a depraved, greasy retard with the intellect of an eight year old. The two brothers have some serious mommy issues and obey her every order. Luckily for these two sicko's mommy lets them keep girls locked up in the basement. The girls in the basement serve as Johnny's personal toys. He takes them out and plays with them when he is bored. The games they play have to be seen to be believed. It seems that John's favorite game is doctor. "Lets play doctor" now I always knew that playing doctor was naughty but when Johnny plays this game it is out right disturbing. First he makes the girls take their clothes off. Then he jabs their breasts with a wire hanger that he pretends is a stethoscope. Then he makes them swallow pills and stabs them in the ass with a home made syringe. "Let me check your bottom".

Aside from Johnny's sick and twisted version of playing doctor we are also treated to one of the weirdest scenes ever in exploitation horror. It is the leap frog scene. Yes you heard that right, fucking leap frog. In one of the movies greatest moments we see Johnny the retard playing leap frog with a frightened young girl. The girl is pretty much naked on all fours, scared out of her wits while Johnny jumps around like a idiot and hops over her again and again. Who thinks this stuff up? Leap frog?

While Johnny spends most of the movie tormenting his play things, we see a whole lot less of Frank but when Frank does come into the picture he is more ruthless and horrible then his numb-skull brother. In one scene Frank very awkwardly rapes one of his brothers female toys. After the rape Frank proceeds to tell his victim that he had a girlfriend once but she left him when she found out that he wets the bed occasionally and has been having sex with his mommy since he was 15 years old. This is all told through a flashback which is also pretty disturbing. We watch Frank grope his mothers boobs as his soon to be wife watches in horror.

There are a few other twists and turns in this one but we all know we didn't come into this one for a brilliant story. We really came here to see retards have their way with chained up women and thats what we get. The movie does have some problems with the audio. At certain times the sound gets very low, making it hard to hear the dialogue. There is also a very strange choice of music in this one which I have to admit I'm very partial to. The film does offer up some surprisingly nice cinematography and we can thank director Don Jones for much of that. Don Jones also did the camera work on House Of Seven Corpses and would go on to direct the 80's Slasher The Forest.

So check this one out for some fun with a maniacal rape happy family, retards and of course LEAP FROG!!!

Harry Novak's Box Office Bonanza Of Sexploitation Trailers & Featurettes # 2 (1992)

Among the things in life I love most is sleazy trailers from the exploitation days. I also have a life long obsession with Something Weird Video. Luckily for me the two go hand in hand. Nobody does a better job of jam packing their DVD's with crazy trailer's then Something Weird. They also have released tons of trashy trailer compilations which is just perfect for a weirdo like me. Among the best of Something Weird's trailer comps is of course The Extra Weird Sampler which can often be found in the used bin at the local video store and then some of the rarer tapes like Monsterama Sci-Fi Late Night Creature Feature Show Vol. 1.

While Harry Novak's Box Office Bonanza Of Sexploitation Trailers & Featurettes # 2 might not be the best of trailer comilations or even the best of Something Weird Video's compilations it still does have some gems. Here is a list of the trailers that this one has to offer.

Please Don't Eat My Mother
Sweet Georgia
Midnight Plowboy
Tobacco Roody
Country Hooker
Southern Comforts
Country Cuzzins
The Pig Keepers Daughter
Sassy Sue
The Dirty Mind Of Young Sally
Teenage Bride
Massage Parlor Wife
Bellow The Belt
Wild Free & Hungry
Erikas Hot Summer
When Men Carried Clubs And Women Played Ding Dong
The Concubines
The Toy Box
Wilbur And The Baby Factory
The Booby Trap

This one also comes complete with a stag film called The Peepers which isn't all that good. So all in all we get a total of 21 trailers and one stag film. Many times these trailer compilations will group together trailers by genre. They attempted to do so with this one but it didn't work out so well in the end. The main thing that hurts this one is the big section of hillbilly sexploitation trailers. The next one plays exactly like the last and after a while it gets a little tired. However there are still some great ones. After all The Booby Trap is one of my all time favorite trailers. The Toy Box is also really cool. One of the weirdest on this tape is When Men Carried Clubs And Women Played Ding Dong. I never even heard of that one until now and let me tell ya, it looks pretty crazy. This one is only recomended for die-hard trailer fanatics but I'm sure you would have already guessed that.

Van Nuys Blvd. (1979)

William Sachs, the director of the awesome low budget sickie Incredible Melting Man brings us this stupid late 70's sex comedy.

Yeah they really don't get more pointless then this one. In case you haven't noticed they based a whole movie around the hot cruisin spot in California. Van Nuys Blvd. is the street and this is where we see all the naked girls, drag races, fights, bad disco and destruction of vehicles.

Here's the plot if you can call it that. A bored young man leaves his small town trailer home, nympho girlfriend, job and television behind for a life of sex and partying on Van Nuys Blvd. He makes new friends almost instantly and I personally couldn't help but hate everyone in this movie. They are all so fucking cheery, I just want to puke. Its as if the cast from Happy Days made it into a sex comedy. Yuck!

Van Nuys Blvd. is very random and chaotic. You never know whats going to happen next except that it will most likely involve some gratuitous nudity. My personal favorite scene shows two young cruisers smashing the shit out of each others cars. Its total pointless destruction in the same vein as something like Herschell Gordon Lewis's Just For The Hell Of It. Some of the naked female flesh isn't all that bad to look at while others should probably have been avoided. The best looking girl in the whole movie is a blond biker babe who comes complete with leather bra, pants, gloves and studded belt. This one also sports a lot of sweet 70's mustaches, stupid cops, stupid kids, stupid adults, a horrible theme song, a worse disco song, a sex food fight and a very awkward scene where an old man hops in bed with his naked daughter and plays with her boyfriends ass.

Not really my kind of movie but if stupid comedies with lots of tits and cars is your thing you might wanna check this one out. From Crown International.

Rapeman (1993)

Once again we have to give a round of applause to the Japanese for coming up with such innovative forms of smut and sleaze. This one comes in the form of a super hero for hire known as Rapeman. Need I say more?

Rapeman derives from a popular Japanese Manga book of the same title and is not the easiest of items to find on dvd with English subtitles but is well worth sorting out and makes for a nice novelty addition to your trashy dvd collection.

Rapeman is a good guy. Just look at that face. Rapeman stands for justice through penetration. Decked out in a black hockey mask, a leather jacket, leather gloves and comes complete with handcuffs and a trusty butterfly knife. He helps the helpless rape by rape.

This early 90's filth-fest is shot on video and is extremely low budget but unlike the majority of American shot on video garbage Rapeman offers up a maniacal story in pure bad taste.

Just like our beloved Superman, Rapeman is your average every day joe. In this case he is a school teacher and the students love him, especially the girls. On a typical day Rapeman is given gifts from his female students. They show their appreciation to their teacher by giving him their panties but by night Rapeman has to get to work and his latest case turns out to be a big mess. A jealous waitress at a night club hires Rapeman to victimize the wife of a corrupt politician. Rapeman obliges and takes care of business but he is double crossed and black mailed. Soon Rapeman finds out that the politicians are working for the Yakuza and it is time to take the bad guys out one rape at a time.

Rapeman is not a gore flick at all. It is pure exploitation however. The rape scenes although very strange are shot in slow motion. This doesn't look all that great. In fact it is a bit on the blurry side but the blurry imagery and the shot on video cheapness is easily looked past due to the outrageous subject matter.

Might not want to watch this one with your girlfriend unless she is really cool. There is lots of nudity and rape mashed into a short 74 minute movie. I could see most being offended by this. Definitely not for everyone but then again those sensitive types would probably not even be reading this.

The Babysitter (1969)

Okay that's it. I am officially depraved. I absolutely loved this movie. Its not as if The Babysitter was overly trashy or disturbing because I have long ago surpassed this form of sexploitive smut but I think it was how sexy I thought the movie was which I found so strange.

The Babysitter has elements of a Bikersploitation film but also tries to be romantic and sexy at the same time. I guess it was shooting for a Billy Jack Born Losers type thing but focuses less on action and revenge.

A vicious biker gang comes up with a plan to get their murdering friend out of the tank by black mailing the prosecutor of his legal case. It just so happens that the D.A. has been cheating on his wife with a teenage babysitter. His daughter is a lesbian and the biker gang has pictures to prove it. However all the biker stuff is very minimal and the main story focuses on the cheating husband and the teenage blond beauty.

While The Babysitter is really nothing more then a fantasy film for married men with lustful thoughts it is very affective. The film sucks you in and places you under a trance while you watch the bare breasted hippie chick seduce an older man. Shit, why do I like this film so much? Its not as if I am a 50 year old man trying to boink The Babysitter while the wife is away but yet this one really pulled me in.

There is enough nudity to keep the average sleazoid happy for 75 minutes or so and we are treated to some knife violence, lesbian sex, violent hair cutting and some silly 60's go-go dancing. The dialogue is cheesy most of the time and we do have quite a bit of over and under acting depending on the actor but this one just seems to fly by.

The director would do a movie called A Weekend With The Babysitter in the following year which seems very similar in plot. I am yet to see that one but if it is half as good as this movie I am sure it will be getting another good write up.

Quiet Days In Clichy (1970)

I have to admit this movie makes me feel a little bit like a fake. Personally not being much of a reader I have never read any of Henry Miller's novels. While I certainly know who Henry Miller is I have to admit that I am more familiar with his image and interviews which can all be found on the Internet then his actual writings. Yet Quiet Days In Clichy is one of my all time favorite Sexploitation movies.

This Danish film offers a very minimal plot but stands strong as high art in trash cinema. This overly sleazy sexploit follows two piss-poor writers Joey and Carl who indulge in the finer things in life such as sex and binge drinking. They make it a point to sleep with as many women as possible and morals come secondary to their sexual decadence. The two men find themselves in a bit of trouble when they find a 14 year old girl aimlessly walking the streets. They become aware that the girl is a bit slow in the head to say the least and they also are aware of her age but this doesn't stop Joey and Carl from exploiting her youthful body in every way possible. She becomes the men's personal sex toy and they await punishment. "All her brains are in her cunt"

The 14 year old retard only eats up a small part of the runtime and there are plenty of other women who will bare it all in Quiet Days In Clichy. The film is loaded to the brim with naked female flesh and yes there are a couple of swinging dicks for added trash points but there is more to this film then sex sex sex. There is almost a poetry that flows through the film. A interesting and unique philosophical message. Yes its perverse and many would consider it depraved but there are moments of monologue that really punctuate the film and bring it to another level making Quiet Days In Clichy something a bit more then your average Doris Wishman sleaze-o-rama. "Better venereal disease than a moribund peace and quiet." The film has this beautiful nihilistic feel to it. Joey and Carl live by their instincts and the consequences and repercussion do not really enter the men's minds. That is at least until it is to late.

Another thing that makes Quiet Days stand out so much is how the story is told. Yes there are long moments of monologue but for large portions of the film nobody is speaking and I am not just talking about the sex scenes. Plus the film is not entirely in English. I would say only about half of the film is spoken in English but this doesn't really keep the viewer in the dark because texts sprawl across the screen explaining what is happening. Yes I said texts not subtitles. Almost as if the characters should have bubbles coming from their heads explaining what they are thinking, like a comic book. "Those were the days when the air was filled with cunt"

In one of my favorite scenes we see Joey going to sleep hungry. He has no cash because he gave it all to a hooker "The woman he loves". We watch him toss and turn as garage rock blares on the soundtrack and images of food spew across the screen. He wakes up in a frenzy, suffering from starvation, he roams the city streets looking for a hand out. He finds nothing and resorts to eating out of the garbage. He washes the garbage down his throat with some wine and goes back to sleep with a satisfied smile on his face. This all of course being a metaphor for his lifestyle and the trashy women in his life which keep him satisfied. In another scene we see Joey eat bread from a toilet bowl. Some of the other trashy delights that this film has to offer is a bathtub orgy which reminded me a bit of Denis Hopper's American Dreamer, sex scenes play like rape scenes and an amazing soundtrack by Country Joe. You have to hear this theme song to believe it. Its dirty!

Quiet Days In Clichy is the perfect experience for anyone who can dig a little bit of art with their sexploitation movies. Even for those like myself who are not familiar with writings Henry Miller.

Womens Prison Massacre (1983)

To all those horror-snobs out there who like to bad-mouth Bruno Mattei, I have just one thing to say... Women's Prison Massacre! The director has plenty of entertaining titles to his name but this one probably takes the cake and is amongst the best in the (W.I.P.) Women In Prison genre.

Women's Prison Massacre also known as Emanuelle In Prison, a.k.a. A Bunch Of Bastards, a.k.a. Blade Violent, a.k.a. Emanuelle Escapes From Hell and various other titles from different countries stars Laura Gemser yet again in another Black Emanuelle role. This time stuck in a hell hole for female inmates. Lorraine De Selle who I remember best as Gloria in both Cannibal Ferox and House On The Edge Of The Park plays the wicked warden. You pretty much get exactly what you would expect from the character minus the lesbian stuff. Still she offers up the typical scenes of unjust punishment and savagery which is mainly taken out on Emanuelle.

Women's Prison Massacre offers up the necessary full frontal female nudity and all the depravity that comes along with these W.I.P. movies. Shower scenes, masturbation, lesbianism and just plain dancing in the buff is all here for the viewing pleasure of the average degenerate. However things get really good when a ruthless band of  male cop-killers arrive at the women's prison. You guessed it, we are going to have a massacre on our hands. These guys are pretty tough dudes. They are all sentenced to death for multiple rape charges, murder and as I mentioned killing police officers. The leader of the criminal gang goes by the name of Crazy Boy and he has the biggest body count to his name. Crazy Boy done killed himself 17 cops and the numbers will increase before the credits role. However the best member in this gang of slackers is Blade. Blade is one sick mother fucker. This cat enjoys cutting girls up with razor blades which obviously helped him achieve his cheesy nick name.

For me the main thing that separates Women's Prison Massacre from other W.I.P. flicks is how much fun they make the male criminals seem. These guys are as bad as they get but for some reason you can't help but be on their side. They pretty much rape all of the inmates and take the guards and the warden hostage along with some cops and they kill them at will. As the tagline on the poster says "The killing never stops..." This movie has such a huge body count to it and it is so fast paced that the ending almost lets you down. This is the perfect party movie. It is sure to liven up any group with its 90 minutes of sex and violence.

Bruno Mattei maybe known by most as a hack-job who will rip any movie off without any shame. Well I enjoy him for this reason. Sure he has shit out quite a bit of garbage in his day but it is movies like this that make Mattei a household name at movies from mars.

Fans of this movie should also check out some of Mattei's early Nazisploitation flicks like Women's Camp 119 and SS Girls both of which are good exploitative fun in bad taste and for those who have not yet seen Women's Prison Massacre get ready for knife fights, car chases, brutal shoot outs, face slashing, throat slicing, Russian roulette (complete with flying brain matter), some very nasty penis mutilation and memorable quotes such as "I will bite your nipples off". In other words its a god amongst Italian exploitation films.

Night Of The Bloody Apes (1969)

Ever wonder what it would be like if somebody crossed a Herschell Gordon Lewis film with a Mexican wrestling Lucha Libre film? Well your answer is right here. Night Of The Bloody Apes is all of the above.

The director of this thing was responsible for a few Santo and friends Lucha Libre films so it is no wonder that masked wrestling women made their way into this pre 70's gore epic. Anybody who made it through Rock 'N' Roll Wrestling Women Vs. The Aztec Mummy without falling asleep and actually liked it needs to check this ultra campy flick out. The movie starts off with Lucy a masked female wrestler kicking the shit out of her opponent in the ring. When Lucy tosses the rival wrestler over the ropes and out of the ring her opponent goes into a coma with a fractured achy-breaky skull. This makes Lucy contmeplate quiting wrestling and find another profession but you can take the ring from the girl but you can not keep the girl outta the ring. When this chick gets stood up by her cop boyfriend she goes back to knock a few more screws loose. Of course all of the wrestling stuff is good fun but it is only a taste of things to come. After all this is a gore flick.

While all of this masked female wrestling shit is going on a surgeon is performing new experiments on his dying son. The doctor refuses to let his son go and comes up with the brilliant idea to perform a heart transplant with that of a giant gorilla. The theory is that since a gorilla is so strong its heart must also be strong and if such a giant heart is placed into the body of a normal sized human being that it would help the person regain a healthy immune system and fight off disease. Sound logical? Of course not but that is what Night Of The Bloody Apes has to offer in all of its genius. The surgeon heads down to the local zoo and shoots a gorila up with tranquilizers. He preforms the surgery and the results are a bit different then the doctor expects. His son turns into "A half man, half beast" and grows in size. What we really get is a muscle head running around with a crazy looking gorilla mask and raping young, hot, Mexi-girls. I personally think this thing should have been called Night Of The Ape Rape but I suppose the whole "Bloody" thing is also fitting since there is lots of bloodletting to come.

The surgery scenes were all cut in later for a little extra kick. The real surgery footage is bound to make some of the softer folk out there squirm but it is a nice added touch and a gore hounds delight.

As I mentioned the mad scientist creates one hell of a horny, rape-happy monkey. The Bloody Ape roams about at night and stalks bathing beauties. The girls in this movie pretty much bare it all with the exception of pubic hair and most of them are actually pretty nice to look at. That is at least until the ape-man gets his hands on them. Not only does the Bloody Ape tear away any clothing that his next female victim might be wearing but he also enjoys tearing at their flesh.

However the beast doesn't limit his victims to strictly women. If a poor unfortunate man happens to step in his way the ape-man will certainly eliminate him in a gory way. Eyeballs are popped out from their heads, teeth are ripped out, throats a clawed at and guts are pulled from stomachs. It all sounds pretty disgusting and in a way it is but Night Of The Bloody Apes has this sort of charm to it that is only really known to Herschell Gordon Lewis freaks. It is all done in good sleazy fun and it is pretty damn hard to take a movie like this very seriously. The imagery is brutal, gooey and some what depraved but for me there is almost a goofy innocence to these movies. Sure they are bound to insult up-tight assholes, sure they are pure trash but a ridiculous mad scientist monster-ramma flick crossed with female wrestlers and tons of red gore still comes off light hearted compared to some of the much more serious stuff that would follow in the next few years. Stuff like I Spit On Your Grave or even Last House On The Left all comes off much more realistically darker.

Night Of The Bloody Apes is a perfect Mexi-melt of 50's monster movies, 60's Sexploitation and the darker decade which will follow. It is also a perfect flick to round up a few beers and a few friends and prove to your chums how demented you actually are and I think our mad scientist said it best when he delivers the ridiculous line "It's more probable that of late more and more you're watching in your television many of those pictures of terror."
Fans of this movie would also probably like Doctor Butcher M.D. (Medical Deviate) an Italian exploitation film which blends multiple trash film genres into one big gory bowl of pasta.